Story so far
by Memolade
Summary: "Being with you was their decision and I did it right away. You're the one thing I did right." Akashi Seijuro X OC
1. MEETING

A/N: This fic will contain a lot of drama, meany Akashi, dramatic OC, own opinion about Akashi's family and the like.

constructive criticisms are always welcome but please no flaming. Flames will be added to AKashi-sama's burning hotness! hehe

Enjoy and pls R&R. :)

* * *

When I arrived at our house, the first person who approached me was my father's personal secretary. She said that my father wanted to discuss something with me. I followed then knocked on his office. When he responded, I entered inside. He was standing near the tall glass window while holding a glass of wine. I assumed that what he wanted to tell was important because he even traveled from Japan all the way here in America. I was happy to see him but there was no way I could jump a hug to him.

That's an improper manner for a girl.I'm sure he would say that if I did. Instead, I stood near the door while watching his back and waiting for him to speak.

"Izumi, how old are you now?" he asked. I sighed quietly while keeping a thought of 'What kind of father doesn't know the age of his own child' inside my head. "16" I replied calmly.

"I see, you're still young but this is important. I need you to go in Japan as soon as possible."

"I understand but can I know the reason?" I asked without a hint of hesitation.

He turned around to face me. Placing his wine on the table before crossing his arms, he explained "I have this business partner and also my friend who owns a big company in Japan and we decided to form an alliance with our company here in America. I trust him but…" he paused walking forward on my direction giving me a sharp look.

I just stared at him as he walked closer. He stopped just a few steps before speaking again, "In the world of business, betrayal can't be avoided." He finished. I'm starting to understand what this conversation means.

My father placed his hand on my shoulder. "I want you to meet his son. Do you understand what I'm saying Izumi?"

Two well-known companies from Japan and America are forming an alliance and to be sure that no betrayal would happen, I need to meet his son? I knew it. Must be an arrange marriage. If I'm married to their son, the relationship of both companies will always be stable. "I understand." I replied to my father. I agreed because he said so, i didn't bother to ask my own opinion. Why? Because it was not needed anyway.

"That's my daughter. I'll process everything including a hotel that you'll use while staying on Japan." He said as he smiled at me. I didn't smile back, instead, i looked him with a blank expression. After that, he walked past to my shoulder stopping beside the door "Don't disappoint me." He added before he left.

After that, I went back to my room to pack up everything.

Shortly, I heard a knock outside my room. I opened my door and saw again the personal secretary of my father. "I'm here to inform that your flight is tomorrow morning." She said.

I nodded and then she left.

**Japan**

As soon as I arrived in Japan, I went to the place where I supposed to meet him. Somehow, it felt good to see the country where I grew up. I entered inside and a waitress bowed on my front as she greeted me.

I almost forgot that bowing was a sign of respect here in Japan and it must be done when meeting people. I bowed also as I told her that I was here for the reservation made by Mr. Yanagi-my father. She smiled before escorting me to the table.

It was a small table for two. There was a small vase of roses at the center. I sat and waited for him.

Few minutes had passed when he arrived. I stood up to greet him. I stretched my arms to offer a handshake but he just stared at it. I cleared my throat, "Uh, sorry." I said dropping my arm to politely bow instead. Maybe,this person didn't prefer a handshake. "Nice to meet you. I'm Izumi Yanagi." I introduced myself. He also bowed in my front before sitting. We were facing at each other and we were probably like this for about 5minutes or more. That was how awkward the situation was. I mean, we just met so it wasn't like i could just start blabbering stuffs to him. I waited and waited until i finally couldn't stand the quietness.

But then again...What should we talk about? I don't know him. I don't know anything about him except his name.

"Seijuro Akashi, it is?" I spoke grabbing the opportunity to start a conversation.

"Yes." He replied while reading the menu. When the waitress approached us, we told our order, he asked for an apple shake and mine was vanilla.

My eyes were fixated on him wondering what kind of person he was.

His hair was red and his eyes were different in color. A heterochromia, I believed. He also had this kind of conceited aura because of how he rolled his eyes on our surrounding as if he was confident with everything.

My thoughts were interrupted when he suddenly spoke. "Are you done analyzing me?" he questioned.

My eyes twitched, "You knew?" I uttered surprisingly.

"I know everything." He replied, his voice was deep and certain. Honestly, I was bit offended with that words. It was true that I was analyzing him, but what was with that 'everything'.

I scoffed, "You know everything? Are you god?"

And then, with that, his eyes changed. He widened it as he coldly glared at my black orbs. "You have no right to question me."

That moment, I felt as if my energy was drawn back as I cringed my body. I gulped before recomposing myself, "I'm sorry." I said in a natural manner. It was followed by a short silence until he spoke, "Yanagi Izumi, 16 years old. Pure Japanese, grew up here in Japan but moved to America 5 years ago. You have an interest on painting and you're the only daughter of Mr. Yanagi."

I see. He was already informed about me. "That's correct." I replied. "What about you?" I asked since I wasn't given any details about him. Instead of answering me, he placed a folder on my front, "I figured this will happen. That's my profile. You can read it later." He said.

He figured it? Ah, I think my pride was just stepped on. How am I supposed to research about him when this meeting was just told yesterday? Putting that thought aside, i replied "I'm sorry for the trouble. I'll read it when I got to my hotel."

Our orders finally arrived. I took a short sip as well as him.

"I presume you already know the reason why they want us to meet each other." He asked abruptly.

I blinked before slightly inching up the one side of my lips, "Parents deciding to broaden the power of their companies but leaving the responsibility to their child, to put it simply, a marriage to seal the relationship of both parties, right?" I said looking straightly to him wondering how he would react.

"That's right." was his simple answer.

"Are you okay with this?"

"Whether I'm okay with this or not, the decision is not mine."

He was right. We can do nothing about this. "Then we should just do our job properly." I said.

He stood up before bowing, "Then I guess we're finish here. I have to leave now." He said.

"Thank you." I replied then glanced at his drink, he didn't even finish it. What a waste.


	2. ORDINARY

Chaptet 2

* * *

Three days ago, I was just living in my normal daily life and then now, I'm on this situation they call fixed marriage. Staring at his picture, I still can't believe that I'm going to share my future with this guy whom I barely know. Regardless of that, I'll try my best on this, I will not disappoint my father.

Two days had passed since our first meeting and during that time, all I did was to stay inside my hotel. I'm scheduled to meet him again together with our parents later in the evening to finalize the agreement. So to say, I'm just waiting for my father to call me. I already read his profile. I now know some basic information about him.

* * *

Afternoon came, my phone suddenly rang. I answered it. On the line was my father who told me that he already arrived here in Japan and he was about to meet Akashi's father. He also told me that Mr. Akashi's secretary will pick me up in just half hour.

After our conversation, I dressed myself in my casual but presentable clothes before heading outside to wait. Just in time, the car finally came as well as the secretary. I entered inside the back seats. The secretary who was sitting beside the driver told me that we were going to Rakuzan High first to pick Akashi. I nodded.

When we arrived, I glanced beside the window to have a look searching for him until the secretary spoke, "Izumi-san, Akashi-kun is inside the gym." She said.

I turned to eye her, bewildered. "Eh?"

She nodded her head slightly, "He wasn't informed about the meeting so we need you to pick him." she said in calm tone.

"Uh-okay." I said before getting off of the car.

As expected of Mr. Akashi, the school where his son is attending has this prestigious vibe. Their entrance gate is wide. The buildings are also well-built with a little touch of sky blue color. Maybe that's the theme color of this school.

Going back to my situation, the problem is… where exactly is the gym? I looked around and noticed some students staring at me with this how-did-this-outsider-enter expression. I just sighed and decided to search around. Fortunately, I saw someone who looks like a teacher and immediately asked him where I can find the gym.

* * *

Outside, I could hear the sound cause by the dribbling. I walked forward seeing the sliding door was kept open. I peeked inside, there, I saw him standing as if he was watching the other players. That's right, he is the captain of course it's natural for him to observe them.

On to the second problem-how I'll call him? Should I, a.) approach him and say 'we have a meeting with our parents'? b.) 'Wait them to finish before telling him that we have a meeting?' c.) 'just call his name.' I bit my lips inside while choosing the right move.

Maybe I should just approach him and tell him, letter A.

I was about to lift my foot when I suddenly heard a voice behind me. "Is there something you need?"

"Ah?!" I turned back and saw a tall guy that completely framed me with his shadow. He has a long black hair.

Rectifying myself, "Nice to meet you. I'm here for Akashi-kun." I said placidly. In the end, i wasn't able to use the plan i created.

"Eh? Sei-chan? Hmm, wait there I'll call him." he said. I bowed, "Thank you."

"Sei-chan, there's a girl here looking for you." He called him.

Akashi turned to us.

"A girl?~ Akashi you have a girl?" someone said in a cheery manner. With that, the attention of other players suddenly shifted to us.

"You're noisy Kotaro." The tall man said referring to the person who just reacted. "By the way, you can come inside." He added smiling at me as he gestured his hands pointing inside the gym.

I did, and went directly to Akashi bowing half of my body first, "It's good to see you again Akashi-kun. I was asked to pick you up here and also, to notify you that we have a meeting with our parents tonight. " I said.

His eyes bored on mine, not uttering anything. It felt like he didn't like the idea of this sudden meeting. Though, it wasn't really sudden. It was already planned; he wasn't just informed about it. He averted his eyes and told me "I'm going to change, wait here."

I nodded. "Yes."

While waiting, this person who was called as Kotaro kept on spazzing on my front. "Hey. ~ What are you to Akashi? ~"

_Focus, I will not lose my calmness here._

"I've never seen him with a girl before, who are you? ~"

I cleared my throat before speaking and slightly bowing on his front, "Kotaro-san, I guess? Nice to meet you, I'm Izumi Yanagi."

"Heh,~ you're so formal. ~" he said with a broad smile. "So, are you Akashi's girlfriend?"

_He is s so rowdy._

"Geez, annoying, don't bother her." The tall man said. _Whooo, my life-saver_. Still, i decided to explain our situation to this 'Kotaro-person'.

"I'm not his girlfriend but I'll consider it as something like that but we're not romantically associated." I said clarifying the question of what am i to Akashi Seijuro.

He blinked twice "huh?" And judging that face, i knew he didn't get what i'm trying to say. Not blaming him though, our situation was indeed hard to understand.

On cue,

"Hayama, she's my fiancée." Akashi interjected, finally came back and now wearing his uniform. That surprised me, i didn't expect him to say that and what did he just referred me as?...a fiancee? Wow. So does it mean, he like me? I had a lot of reaction on what just happened but on the outside, i was normal and calm while eyeing Akashi-kun.

"Izumi, let's go."

"Yes." I said then greeted my goodbye to his fellow players that had this expression of disbelief...or not? I don't exactly know but the way they stared us gave me that conclusion.

On our way back, he was walking two steps ahead from me. This made me look like an assistant than fiancée, I thought as I obediently followed his back.

We stayed like this until we both got inside the car heading to meet our parents.

No conversation happened, just plain quietness from him.

And that made me curious as to what kind of person he was.

* * *

reviews? / constructive criticism is okay. *3*


	3. AVOIDANCE

I didn't hear any words from him while we were on our way. He was here, sitting beside me with his eyes close, cross arms and legs. I did the same, not the body gestures but the way he stayed quiet while waiting for us to reach our destination.

The car stopped in front of a house that I bet belong to Akashi family. I didn't expect it because I thought it would be some restaurant again or maybe a cafe.

Their house was huge and spacious. There was a tall maple tree in the entrance and before reaching the main entrance of their house, I saw a garden on my left with a mini water falls in the stone surrounded by different types of plants. The outside was refreshing to see that if i didn't keep myself focus, i would have my mouth hanging in awe.

We were guided or should I say, I was guided on my way inside. It was Akashi-kun's house after all, he knew what to do. We reached the room that looks like a dining room. There was a 10-seater table at the center. My father and probably the other person Mr. Akashi were already sitting. They greeted us and told us to sit. I'm facing my father and Akashi-kun was on my side. He was still as quiet as he was like back on the car though he slightly bowed on my father for respect.

"So this is Izumi. Good evening, I'm Seijuro's father." He introduced his self.

I bowed my head, "Nice to meet you." I said.

"How was your first meeting? What can you say about my son?" he said smiling at me but I couldn't help but feel a heavy sensation in my chest. I think this was nervousness. He was smiling yet serious.

I took a brief look at Akashi-kun and said "He's a fine man." I based that on what I read on his profile.

Mr. Akashi nodded then poured a wine on his glass as well as on my father's glass. He raised his arm dancing the glass of wine in the air and then they began talking about our marriage. Few minutes later, the topic shifted to their business. That made me feel as if we were not even needed here in the first place. These two grown-ups here must already knew what to do since it was them who started this idea.

Sooner, the maids started bringing some foods on the table and then we had our dinner.

While slicing his food, my father suddenly tilted his head to face Akashi-kun. "By the way Seijuro-kun, my daughter will be attending Rakuzan High too starting next week. I hope you'll guide her since she is not familiar in the culture of Japan." He stated.

I wanted to choke when I heard that._ Wrong._ I understand the culture of Japan, I'm full Japanese, why wouldn't I? As usual, he was oblivious with what I can do and what I cannot do. I sighed quietly while chewing my food. I heard Akashi-kun answered a "Yes, I will."

It was followed by a long silence until we finished eating.

"Ah, Seijuro what about you? What can you say about Izumi. I can see she's a good girl." His father abruptly said before smiling a bit to my father. They are really a businessman, smooth talker.

He didn't reply immediately that it took some seconds (8, 10 or more). I glanced at him wanting to poke him and tell him 'hey, your father is asking you something, hello?' But, instead I saw him grabbed the table napkin and gently wiped it on his mouth.  
"I do not see the importance of my impression about her. Izumi and I already agreed on this, so there's nothing to worry." He finally replied and followed it by standing up "Thank you for the meal. I have to go now." He finished.

_Eh, what? How could he answer something like that to his father?_  
I was half amazed and half annoyed. Amazing braveness for replying in that manner and annoyed because….i couldn't remember when did he and I agreed on this. As far as i knew, we just had a talk.

"Seijuro." His father suddenly called in a condemning tone.

He paused with his back facing us.

"We're not yet done here." His father said.

"Sorry but please go on without me." Akashi-kun said before he left the room.

I gulped, somehow the air inside became odd and heavy. His father was frowning.

He sighed, "Well, I'm sorry about that. It's just that…he casually do whatever he wants." He explained raising his brows as if telling us that we should just understand his son because it was just the way he is.

_Screw that….what about me? Well uh, yeah this is what i am - a good and obedient daughter._

"Why don't we leave this to Izumi?" My father retorted glancing a look at me and I knew what he was trying to say. Those eyes. He wanted me to do something.

_Geez._ "Maybe I can talk to him. Please excuse me." I said as I stood up.

"Are you sure?" Mr. Akashi asked. I smiled a little,  
_Actually, I don't think so. I don't know his personality but i'm going to try because my father wants me to. _  
If only I could answer with that. But no, my father would kill me (figure of speech) so instead i replied with a "Yes".

Before I leave them, I saw my father nodded expressing his agreement on my action.

Honestly, part of me was agreeing on what Akashi-kun said. It was a fixed marriage, so no matter what we think about each other, no matter what our personality is, they all don't matter.

I wandered around their house, where did he go? His room? If yes, where is his room? On my right, I saw a wide staircase and an idea popped in my head that I might find him at the second floor where bedrooms are usually place.I stepped on the threads. When I got at the second floor, I saw his back which was about to turn on left hallway. Their house was just damn big.

"Akashi-kun!" I called him before he could completely disappear from my sight.

He slightly turned his head and I could only see half of half of his face. His eyes were framed in shadows. "What do you want?"

_What do I want? I came here because I was signaled by my father to do something and then I'm here. Can I say that?_ NO.

Think. I told myself through my mind.

I coughed quietly, "I think we should go back there and listen to their plan about our marriage." I said in my casual voice.

He faced me and walked forward. His eyes were looking down on me as he moved closer. He leaned his face near my left ear, "I'm surprise how you keep that face when all you have inside your mind was the same as what I'm thinking." He whispered. My eyes widened upon hearing, I didn't like it, his voice was dauntless. And also, how could he say that?

I dropped my left shoulder before moving a step on my right to avoid this closeness between us. "I'm sorry Akashi-kun but what exactly do you mean?" I asked.

He smirked, "Your view on this whole thing is useless, yet you're acting like it concerns you."

Eh?

I knitted my brows, "That's not true. You're just probably misunderstanding this." I said trying to act brave despite the intimidating look he had.

He twitched his eyes,"'I am wrong.' Is that what you were trying to say?" he asked with a disapproving tone.

"Yes."

He widened his eyes that made me restless deep inside my body. "That is exaggeration, because I am always right." he stated confidently.

_Focus Izumi,_ i reminded myself because honestly…i wanted to frown or glare or laugh because what he said was ridiculous. No body's perfect, nobody can always be right.

I inhaled and exhaled a long breath, "What you said was the exaggeration Akashi-kun." I said putting a point on the word 'exaggeration'.

He kept silent for a few seconds and then before I knew he forcibly grabbed the collar of my dress, my eyes widened. He pulled it upward making my face close to him, his eyes glaring directly to mine. "Let me tell you something…" He said, his words were threatening that it made me gulp. "No one is allowed to oppose me. I'll let you off this time but if you do this again….I'll kill you no matter who you are." He finished. Hearing that made me flinch that I lose the calmness I was holding.  
_K-Kill me?_ My body suddenly became numb and cold because of his sudden statement. After that he released me and turned back leaving me alone.

_Is that a hyperbole? He can't be serious…right?_

I leaned on the wall on my left thinking what just happened. My knees were trembling.  
_Kill me? _  
I was scared since his face expressed how serious he was. It was like already killing half of me with those ominous eyes.

When I got back to the dining room, I bowed in front of our father "I-I'm sorry..I….wasn't able to c-convince him to go back." I said resisting the trembling of my knees and lips but somehow failed because my speech was obviously stuttering.

The two eyed me, "It's okay. We already talked about everything." Mr. Akashi said.

I was about to head back on my seat when I saw my father standing up. "Well then, since my daughter is back we"ll take our leave now." he said while smiling.

"Yes. Thank you Mr. Yanagi." Akashi-kun's father said as he also stood up. The two did a hand-shake and after that, we left.

On our way, I was seated at the back beside my father. He told me everything about what they had planned. We will get married when I turned 18. He also said that they will engage us officially in front of their other business partners after 5 months. All I did was to answer "yes" at the end of his statement. That time, half of my mind was focused on what happened with me and Akashi-kun. I closed my eyes thinking: is it okay for me to get married with an intimidating person like him. I mean, I've never felt scared that way before. What would happen if I live in the same roof with him?

And then, I remembered his word.

Kill.

I couldn't help but feel restless that my heart was palpitating. It seemed like my father noticed this, he placed his hand on my shoulder asking if there is something wrong. I wanted to answer with my usual "Yes" but when I was about to open my mouth he said "I know you're too young but this is important."

"That's not it Dad." I spoke.

He looked at me. I wanted to tell him that I'm scared and I don't want to do this marriage anymore. I believed he will understand it. "Dad, I think I don't-"

"Izumi!" he interrupted as if he already got a hint of what I was about to tell him.

I winced. "Don't disappoint me. I'm your father. I know what's best for you. Do you understand it?" he said not giving me a chance to explain my reason.

I lowered my head.  
Right, i have no choice. From the very beginning, I never had the choice.  
"Yes." I was disappointed but I guess that's all there is to it. The decision is not mine.

After that, I remained silent until we reached my hotel. Before we parted, my father told me that he was going back to America to do the papers, signing of contract and etc and also, the most important, was to get along with Akashi Seijuro. I nodded and then he left.

"I'll just have to do my best." I uttered to myself.


	4. CURIOSITY

My first day in Rakuzan High was pretty normal. The second too, third day and so on. I'm also a 1st year like him but he is not my classmate. He belongs to the top class, in section A unlike me who's in section C. That made sense when I remember what I read on his profile. He always rank as the top 1 in exams. He is smart, too smart that made me pity him for having to marry a girl with an average IQ.

When I found out that he was not my classmate, I was really really glad. Thankful that I won't be around with him during school hours. To be honest, I didn't want to see him, I'm scared. I don't know what and how I will react if ever. The memories were still fresh. I was threatened that if I oppose him again, he'll kill me NO MATTER WHO I AM. Since then, I've been worrying about that. Was he serious? Was he just using a figure of speech? I don't know. I just know nothing at all. Luckily, the fate seemed to side on me as I wasn't able to come across with him during my first month. As much as possible, I kept my distance away on the gym knowing that he was on basketball club. I also avoided using the hallway that would make me pass by on his class room.

* * *

I'm not the social type of girl. Most of the time, I would just sit and keep quiet while inside the room and eat on the cafeteria alone during lunch. After class, I'd just immediately go back to my hotel. That was my new life routine and I thought that it would always be like that until my mid-second month. One of my classmate started bugging me asking me 'why are you so quiet? Why are you always alone?'. I answered her 'that's just how I am.' She then made a pain expression on her face before saying "if you want, you can hangout with us." I dazed for a second wondering what she meant until I parted my mouth getting a hint of it. "Um…thank you but I'll humbly decli-"

"No. Just say yes, hehe. I'm Naruka Kanri, just call me Kanri. Can I call you Izumi-chan?" She said broadening a smile on me as she stood on my front, her arms on her back. I sighed before replying a "sure, why not" just to satisfy her.

The next day, she started talking and talking to me. She kept asking a lot of questions, personal and not. It happened when she suddenly joined me on the cafeteria during lunch break. She asked me where I came from. I answered her " America" and then she questioned again my reason for transferring here. "Marriage, fixed marriage" was my simple reply. She nodded and then framed a confused face asking who the person was. I decided not to answer her but she insisted. I wondered why she was being concern about that so I asked her. She told me that it was normal to share information with a friend. I blinked, "friend" I repeated. She smiled and said "yes, we are friends right."

Something inside me flutter when i heard that. Like i said, i'm not the social type so friendship was one of the rarest relationship I had. Not that I hate it.  
I sighed, "um, his name is Akashi Seijuro".

She dropped her jaw "w-what?"

"What's wrong?" I asked seeing how shock she became.

"H-he's popular here, you know…are you serious?"

I nodded. _Popular? How did that happen?_

"Wow, you're so lucky!" She said clasping my hand, her eyes were elated.

I narrowed my eyes repeating her words in my mind, 'lucky'. "You don't know what you are saying." I said, my tone was disagreeing. Marrying an intimidating person like him was far from being lucky. "He is scary." I added.

"Eh? He is smart, cool and a good player, oh hot too!" She retorted.

I rolled my eyes before standing up. "Thank you for your time, I'll go ahead first." I said bowing on her front and then I left. Friend, huh? She was just the same as my father, only relying on the things they thought.

I knew that it was rude of me to leave her like that. Regardless, she didn't stop talking and accompanying me until I finally became used on her presence that one time I realized I'm okay having her with me that she was okay with me, that she was actually a friend.

* * *

One day while we were doing a research on the library she sat beside me and started blabbering about things I don't think I should know like how some of our classmates were asking her to join on a mixer. She also shared stories about her club, their activities and then at the end she asked me if I would like to join their club. I declined immediately as I continued browsing on some books. I heard her sigh in boredom. Few seconds later, she suddenly opened a topic about Akashi-kun. I listened this time. Her chin was rested on her palm as she told me that she watched a practice match of basketball club yesterday against a different school. She said that Akashi-kun did a good job and he was also the reason why the team won.

He didn't become the captain for nothing, I thought. Naruka-San also said that I should watch his match sometimes. I just nodded. She was right, but not for now.

* * *

It was almost three months and I still didn't see him, not even his shadow or his silhouette. I just…succeeded on avoiding him. Although I already recovered from what happened, I still don't know what I will feel if I met him. I'm afraid that he might say something like that again. Kill. I don't want to hear that and be look on by those cold glares again.

I did say that I'll do my best to him but for now, until I'm not yet officially engage with him, I'll live on my own.

But one day, the fortune and luck finally ran out and left me. On my way back to the classroom after eating my lunch, I saw him outside the cafeteria. He was alone and looks like he was heading to the gym. If I continue my pace, we will end up meeting each other. I wanted to hide while he was still far but I couldn't move my feet. It was as if my energy was consumed. I swallowed hard seeing him getting close. Fear. I'm remembering what happened during our last meeting. I gritted my teeth as I lowered my head. If I don't look at him, he might just ignore me and walk pass like nothing happened.

I stared at the ground waiting for him to brush past on my side until I saw his feet stopped on my front. My knees trembled a little. Why did he stop? What does he want? I kept asking myself not looking at him as I tried my best to just fix my eyes on the ground and nothing else pretending oblivious about his presence.

"Izumi." I heard him say my name in an impassive tone.

I didn't answer as I swallowed hard, sweating.

"Raise your head." He said. I don't know why but hearing his command made me follow. His voice was as if saying 'do it or else'.

I tilted up my head to eye him but surprisingly, he was….smiling. I expected him to be glaring so what was with that smile. "I haven't seen you in a while." He muttered.

He was calm and his voice was kind. My mind was too puzzled that I didn't realize that he was waiting for my answer until he spoke again. "Something is wrong with you."

He probably noticed my restlessness around him. "I…I'm okay…" I managed to say even though i was clueless as hell.

Our eyes were fixed until he dropped the smile into his normal face. "I see, don't push yourself too much." He said before he left.

I watched his back until he disappeared from my sight wondering why his attitude was different from the Akashi I feared to meet. _What's with the sudden kindness?_ My mind and thoughts about him were tangled. I did my best to avoid him because I'm scared.

Did I mistaken his personality for the past months?

I became curious and confused.

During and after class, my mind was still drown with his action towards me. He was scary back then but he didn't seem that way a while ago. In the hotel, I couldn't sleep at night. Am I failing on my responsibilities? I asked myself. I should be doing my best to get closer with him but it looks like I'm using his personality as an excuse.

On the next day, during break, I decided to visit his classroom. I found him inside. I was peeking on the side of their glass window. His classmates were talking with their own circle of friends as he accompanied his self with no one but himself alone while playing a board game that I think was called as Shogi. A Japanese version of chess.

I studied him quietly. He seemed serious on playing. But I wonder why he was playing it alone. Why won't he ask someone as his opponent. He stayed like that until the bell rang.

I began observing day by day without him knowing. Most of the time, I would find him alone while playing Shogi. If not, he would probably be at the gym, practicing. Sometimes though, I would see him talking with his other classmate but it was always short like only asking the important not bothering the useless information. After class, before I go home, I would take a look again on the gym, he was always doing his best while playing. Or more like, Akashi Seijuro is always serious on everything he do. He didn't seem the kind of guy who likes to fool and have fun around. I wondered if he was really like that.

I totally became a stalker to him. I did this because I wanted to know his true personality.

Is he really scary or he's actually a kind person? That was the biggest question inside my brain.

I continued observing him and as time passed by, I felt like I was starting to understand him a little. He was a calm person. Basketball and Shogi were what he usually do at school. But, there was something that I noticed that was bothering me. His eyes, they were different. I was not referring to the color. It was the expression of those two-colored orbs when he was alone.

One time, I saw him in a vacant room, playing Shogi again. I decided to approach him. When I stood beside him, he didn't wince. He wasn't surprised of why I suddenly appeared.

"Izumi, you've been following me for a long time now." He muttered not removing his eyes on the board. I blinked, I was the one who became surprised. "If you knew, why you didn't stop me?" I asked in confusion.

"I knew you were doing that because you have a reason." He said.

_This person._

It took me a couple of seconds before I spoke watching him as he moved the pieces "Akashi-kun, can I ask why you're playing this game alone?"

He glanced briefly at me then back to the board. "Why would I want to play with someone who'll just lost."

So confident. The way he said it was like saying that no one can defeat him in this kind of game.

"why do you like basketball?" I asked again. I don't know but there was something I wanted to comprehend. I just didn't know how I would ask him and what words to use.

"To improve myself." Was the simple reply from him.

_Not enough, I want to know what this thing that bothers me._

_The expression on his eyes._

"Last question, are you worrying about something?" I literally asked him.

"Get it to the point, Izumi. What exactly do you want to say." He said, his tone slightly sent shivers on my skin.

As expected, it was like he always knew what was running on my mind.

I inhaled and exhaled a long breath, "Following you for 3 weeks, I couldn't help but notice this. When you're alone…your eyes are different….like they're longing. I want to know. Are you worrying about something?" I ran my mouth and ended up saying everything I had inside my mind.

He paused as he stood up, "Some things are better left unknown Izumi." He replied coldly.

I gulped "…sooner" i looked him in the eyes "…I'll have to spend 24/7 of my life with you. At least, let me understand you." I said my voice was hardening resisting and hiding the fact that I was starting to feel scared again because of that terrifying voice together with those fierce eyes.

"You don't need to understand me. We will get married and there's nothing more to it than that." He stated.

I frowned, "how could you say that?"

He sighed, "You're too naive Izumi." He said and then he turned his back exiting the room.

My mouth dropped.

_I don't understand him._

He seemed like a person with different personality.

Calm. Kind. Scary.

_What's with him._

I don't understand.

I don't.


	5. SPECULATION

Weekend hit and I had nothing to do inside this four cornered room aside from having a staring contest with the ceiling. So far, my life here in Japan was almost alike in mine in America. Home, school, home and school again. A repeated cycle. The only thing that changed was that I already had a responsibility to marry someone.

_Akashi Seijuro_

We don't always meet and if ever chance would let us, we won't talk for long.

Despite that, I tried my best to approach him whenever I have free time in school. During lunch, I'd always visit him in his room then after class, I'd check him on the gym. Sometimes, we would exchange words but it was just a simple words like 'how are you'. It would then immediately be followed by 'goodbye' or 'I have to go'.

_We're strangers that trying to get along with each other._

It was Saturday, I stayed in the hotel the whole day. I grabbed my paint brush and a clean white board. Whenever I don't have anything to do, I will usually do this - painting. That was the only thing I'm proud of with myself; the only thing I do on my own without having to listen to anyone. All my ideas came from me, not to Dad, not to his secretary, just me. I feel at ease whenever I paint.

Some hours ago, when I was about to finish coloring my portrait, my phone rang. I dropped my brush as I reached my phone from the top of my bed. I pressed the answer button then placed it on my right ear. "Hello."

"Izumi? How's it going there? Your relationship with Seijuro, is it going well?" It was my father who bombarded me with questions.

"Dad." I mumbled. My eyes lightened as I broadly smiled. I missed his voice.

"Your answer?" He asked waiting for my reply. There was no trace of longing on his voice and words. Not a little. He really did just call only to hear my report on this.

I sighed, "Everything's fine Dad."

"That's good. Keep it going."

"..."

"There's no getting back now. I'll leave the rest to you, Izumi." He said.

"Yes, I understand." I uttered. "...Dad-" I was about to say something when my father suddenly hang up. I lowered my hand and stared at my phone, "...i miss you" I finished in a whisper before throwing it back on bed. I had mixed emotions during our conversation, disappointment...longing and guilt. I wanted to hear the words like "how are you" instead of asking "how is your relatinship with Akashi Seijuro". Guilt too because I just lied to my father. I just want to be considerate to him that was why I said that when the truth was we were not actually that good, our relationship was not that good.

I trailed my eyes on my unfinished portrait thinking: I have to do something.

On whim, I decided to go and visit him, in their house. Where and how that decision came would be unexplainable because what important was just to meet and have a long and meaningful conversation to him. He may not like it but...I had no choice so the same goes to him.

_We have to build a relationship._

* * *

I stood outside their gate pushing the doorbell button twice. A maid peeked from inside, when she saw me, she quickly ran on the gate to open it. She greeted me and asked me if Akashi-kun was expecting me to come. I replied with a blunt 'no'.

She cocked her head.

"I just want to visit him." I explained and then she welcomed me inside.

I sat at the white sofa in their living room until Mr. Akashi came and greeted me.

" Izumi? I didn't expect to see you...what brought you here?" He asked gesturing an open-arms.

I stood up and bowed politely, "Good evening. I just want to pay a visit with your son." It was another straightforward reply from me.

"Oh…I see. It's a good thing that you two are getting along." He said walking closer to me, smiling.

I smiled too, "yes, it is." _No, we don't really get along that well that's why I'm here, hoping to make it happen. _

"He's probably on his room. I'll ask the maid to call him here-"

"Can I go on his room instead?" I interrupted him and I knew that it didn't sound good. I was obviously like an aggressive girl wanting to meet a guy on his room. I couldn't believed I went that far. _Goodbye my little dignity._

He eyed me for a few seconds; his lips were pressed in thin line. Judging his facial expression, I knew he was in the middle of thinking...and worrying something that was surely irrelevant to my agenda. He raised his eyebrows before exhaling a long breath "Well...I guess there's nothing wrong with that." He said that but his voice was like hesitating to agree.

I bowed, "Thank you." My soul and my dignity as a girl just melted deep inside me.

Asking the father of a guy if she could come on his son's room who was probably alone inside and the fact that it was already evening was embarrassing. I wished he was not thinking something opposite as what was on my mind although I'm sure he was.

I sensed his eyes on my back as I went upstairs. He was definitely worrying about this. _Ok. Calm down Sir, It's not like I'm going to rape your son. I'm just here to talk._

Finally reaching his room, I knocked on the door.

No answer.

I knocked again...and again but still no answer came from the person inside. I waited a couple of minutes before I placed my hands on the doorknob twisting it. Surprisingly, it was open.

I wondered if he was the kind of person who doesn't mind locking his room or did he just forget it?

I slowly opened the door as I quietly peeked inside. It was dark.

I blinked twice waiting for my eyes to adopt the darkness. When everything finally became visible, I decided to pace forward. His room had a large bed, small table at both sides. There was a wide bookshelf on my right and on my front was a balcony with two sliding glass door that was slightly close.

My lips parted in awe when i saw him.

_Akashi-kun?_

He was sitting outside the balcony's floor. Although the place was dark, I was able to detect him easily because of how beautiful the moonlight glowed on him. His left leg was bended while the other leg was stretched straight. He was rolling a ball of basketball repeatedly on the floor while peacefully staring at it with a faint smile on his face.

He was...like a kid that playing his favorite toy. I don't know why but seeing this, made me formed a smile on my face. His eyes were so calm and gentle that I ended up staring him quietly enjoying this rare expression and sight of him.

_Akashi-kun, why do you keep showing different expressions to me._

At that moment, I wanted to understand him more than I've wanted the last time I asked him. He just introduced a new kind of his self to me.

_What's the real one Akashi-kun? Which one is your real face?_

If I'm lucky enough and he will answer, i want him to be this kind of Akashi-kun, gentle and calm. This is the opposite of his other side - the scary and intimidating one.

Suddenly, his eyes went to my direction and by then, it changed back into his usual cold and sharp glares. He stood up opening the door widely to get back inside. When he got inside, he slid the glass door back, closing it.

He looked back at me frowning briefly, "why are you here?" He asked.

My mind lagged for a while. I almost forgot my agenda for coming here. "...I knocked but no one answered, that's why, I let myself in. Sorry, did I disturb you?"

"I asked you why are you here."

"We need to talk." I replied.

"Get out." He abruptly said. His voice was daunting and deep.

My eyes winced.

"I can't." I said.

He glared again. Those eyes were like the eyes he had when he threatened me.

"Akashi-kun, it's hard for me if you're like this. Let's get along." I said standing bravely against those eyes that obviously piercing me. "Paperworks are all done and there's only one and a half months before the engagement. It would be bad if we continue treating each other like this." I explained to him placidly.

He raised a brow and by the looks of it, he didn't like the way I talked so boldly. Regardless, I didn't move or drop the seriousness on my face. _I can't be afraid. I have to this._

Instantly, he decreased the distance between us. He held my wrist to forcibly pin me onto his bed. He smirked as he pressed his body on my top. "Tell me, is this what you want me to do?" He asked mockingly.

It all happened so fast. So fast, that I wasn't even able to resist.

"No." I replied, constantly reminding my mind that I won't be afraid.

He frowned upon hearing my answer as he stood up, letting me free. "You're being too obsessed in this whole marriage thing."

"I'm not obsessed. I'm just following what was told to me." I replied quickly.

"I don't care." He glanced back from the corner of his eyes. "Stop clinging yourself to me."

"Why do you keep on pushing me?" I asked as I stood up on his front still keeping the calm and serious tone in my voice. _You can't stop me from doing the first job that my father has given to me - The job to develop a good relationship and to get along with you._

I was being brave and all on his front for a few seconds but when our eyes met, I then remembered the gentle face he had just a while ago. Suddenly, I found myself asking a lot of questions to him through my mind. Questions that I couldn't bring myself to ask personally especially when he was looking at me like this as if i'm the most hated and unwanted person in his life.

_Why are you so cold?_

_Why can't you look me with those mild soft-hearted eyes that you wear whenever you're alone?_

_Why are you engulfing yourself with this intimidating aura?_

_Why won't you let me understand you and the things you have in your mind._

_Are you concealing something behind those fierce eyes?_

"Akashi-kun..." I muttered as if he would understand it by just mentioning his name. He was just looking at me displeasingly. I didn't mind though, I was too occupied on analyzing the answers to my own questions that I forgot my real reason for coming; that I prioritized this matter instead of that 'talk to develop good relationship bla bla'.

As I stood on his front, I stared at him with a stupid look on my face. I was puzzled and I don't understand why am I treating this as if it was a big deal. Sure, all persons could do that, being scary yet kind at some times. But in his case, Akashi Seijuro's scary side was on a different level...that thing was proven. Then, this...what was the meaning of that? i don't know if I'm just really curious or if I'm pitying him. It was as if there was something hidden on those cold personality that he couldn't show to other except his self.

What I'm sure of was one thing. There was something strange that I felt beneath me. Then, I realized that it was not curiosity, not pity either, it was something much more to that.

_I..._

_...Am I starting to develop concern for him?_ I asked myself on my mind but before I could analyze my answer, i heard him spoke.

"Izumi" he called. "Don't expect that I'll be good and kind to you just because you're my fiancée. I'll do what I want." He continued, interrupting my thoughts.

It was curtly delivered again, I knitted my brows. "Why are you treating me like this?" I asked.

"Because we're not the same, as simple as that." he stated with his head tilted as if he was looking down on me.

I sighed scornfully. "You're saying things again as if you know everything."

"I do."

"You don't know me, Akashi-kun."

"I don't need to know you."

I felt my chest squeezed upon hearing that. I closed my eyes as I sigh, "Just because you always get what you want, you became too conceited."

His eyes widened as he furiously grasped my neck. "Who are you to speak such words to me?"

I flinched before placing my hands on his arms to shove it and then before I realized, I forced a hug on him. He won't scare me anymore. I may not know the reason behind his half-violent and half-kind attitude but I'll find it eventually so until then, I'll adjust myself to him. I'll stand brave on his front.

"There's so much that I do not know. If you'll let me, I want to see the other side of you. Not only this coldness but also the side you keep to yourself when you're alone. Please, don't push me away." I whispered on the side of his neck as I embraced him.

When I felt him resisting and pushing me, I gasped at the sudden rush of emotions realizing that I just made an irrelevant action towards him. I quickly broke the hug and saw that he was irked of what I did. It was written all over his face.

I bit my lips, embarrassed before bending half of my body to bow, "I-I'm sorry….I-I'll go home now. Thank you!" I hurriedly exclaimed as I walked exiting his room.

Instead of developing a good relationship, I ended up annoying him. Ugh.


	6. Engagement Part 1

Some hours ago when Izumi left, he heard a knock coming outside his door. He got off from his bed as he went to the direction of the door, opening it. There, he saw his father standing with crossed arms. "Seijuro" he said as he let his self inside. Walking passed on the young Akashi, he paused behind his son who was still holding the doorknob. "What happened here? I saw Izumi running in panic."

The redhead boy shifted his weight to turn on his father. "I didn't do anything. It was her who ran on her own." He replied paying the same serious tone and face his father had.

The mid-40 man eyed his son suspiciously.

Akashi sighed disfavor with his father's expression, "Rest assured. I'm doing my responsibility." He said walking back to his bed.

"Good to hear. Remember, I gave you the freedom you want but you'll do what I say this time. Don't make our family look bad." He stated.

Akashi scoffed quietly, his back facing his father. "Is that all? I want to sleep now." He said.

His father narrowed his eyes on his son's back for a second before exiting the room. When he heard the door closed, he went back from lying on bed.

Resting his right arm on his closed eyes he suddenly remembered a memory from his childhood.

In his mind was him when he was young and a woman with a gentle smile plastered on her face. They were playing basketball together. Her hands supporting him from behind just in case he lost his balance while dribbling the ball that was too big for his little hands.

"That's it, you're doing well My Seijuro." She said softly, praising how the young Akashi managed to dribble the ball three times.

He couldn't help but formed a slight smile on his face while reminiscing the words the woman used to say to him.

Until the image inside his mind changed into the most memory he didn't want to remember. His smile faded, gritting his teeth instead.

* * *

**Back to Izumi POV**

I sighed for the umpteenth time while leaning my back on the window here inside my room as I stared blankly at the night sky.

_It's time, our engagement._

We didn't meet and talk since that night. At school, whenever I saw him coming I couldn't help but feel this nervousness and tightening of my chest. No. it wasn't because I'm scared to face him. Rather, it was like I want to see him but don't want him to see me.

If I closed my eyes, I'd see his face, his gentle face that night, and then deep inside me, there was a part that wanted to see it again.

Although I was really embarrassed that time, I realized that I shouldn't be, since what I said to him was true and that was what I feel.

My fault was that I didn't choose the appropriate time to say it. Bad timing.

My father called me a while ago informing me that someone will come here to pick me up. He also said that the dress that I will wear will also be given by that person.

I waited until someone knocked on my door. When I opened it, I was startled, shocked and surprised to see Akashi-kun.

I picked my jaw up off the floor and stood up straight. I recomposed myself but my voice betrayed me as I stuttered. "A-Akashi..kun..you're here?" This was our first meeting since that night.

I didn't expect that that 'someone' would be Akashi-kun.

He was wearing a black suit while holding a paper bag. He looked so matured and handsome.

"I'm here to give you this." he said as he stretched his arm that was holding the brown paper bag.

After receiving, I nodded saying "Thank you." He put his hands inside the pocket of his black pants. We stared at each other for a while until he sighed, "Don't waste my time Izumi. Hurry up and change, they're waiting for us." He said.

I blinked at the bitterness of his voice. "Yes." I was about to close the door when he suddenly spoke again. "You're going to let me wait here? Outside?"

Eh?

I frowned a little, "But, Akashi-kun…inside is my room. The place where I'll change my clo-"

"I don't care. I refuse to wait here as if I'm some kind of a servant. Who do you think you are?" he said.

I flinched hearing his all-mighty tone. "S-sorry, please come inside." I said opening the door widely. He then walked inside so casually.

I gulped nervously as I closed the door.

_There's a guy inside my room, just the two of us. This…this is awkward._

I saw his eyes wandered in every corner of my room until his mismatch eyes landed on me. "What are you waiting for?" he asked.

_What I'm waiting for? Where am I going to change?_ I answered him through my mind, blinking repeatedly to avoid his glare.

He sighed again before putting a smug look on his face. "Do you understand now what it feels like when someone barged on your own room?"

I clenched the paper bag onto my chest. "About that!" I exclaimed, now looking at him, "I-I'm sorry" I continued, lowering my voice, ashamed. I saw him moved his feet to decrease our gap. When he was getting nearer, I stepped backwards averting at his eyes that were ominously looking at me.

_He's still mad. What he's going to do now?_

"I-I…already said Sorry Akashi-kun." I uttered tensely while embracing the paper bag on my chest hardly. Eventually, my back reached the back of my door. No more space for me to step back. I swallowed.

Unexpectedly, Akashi-kun chuckled.

_Huh?_

I frowned with my mouth agape in confusion. Did he...just laugh? Well, yes he did but it wasn't a 'i'm-happy-so-i'll-laugh' kind, rather, it was like he was mocking me.

"Hurry up and put that dress." He commanded. I decided to let him off for now since we were in a hurry even though I didn't like when someone was making fun of me. Also, it wasn't like I have any idea for revenge. I'm at fault too for doing that to him the last time. Now, we're even.

"Y-yes!" I replied as if I'm a military officer following the order of my commander.

I went to the direction of my bed. I pulled the dress outside the paper bag. I was on my way to unbutton my shirt when Akashi-kun abruptly spoke, "What are you doing?" he asked frowning.

"Changing." I replied.

"Are you stupid? Use the bathroom."

"Ah, yes. Sorry." I said heading immediately inside my bathroom. Why I didn't realize that at first? I was too nervous around him that my mind stopped functioning, maybe.

I removed my clothes and then stared at the dress for a bit. I bit my lips realizing how daring the dress was but I had no choice so I wore it instantly. I looked at the small mirror above the sink. My clavicle was too exposed. It was strapless and long, long enough that it almost touch the floor. The color was light blue.

I went outside.

When I tilted my head, I saw Akashi-kun staring on my painting that I finished a couple of days ago. I moved beside him, "I'm done Akashi-kun." I muttered while looking at him on the corner of my eyes wondering and trying to read his face. Just in case I could read what he had on his mind while staring on my painting.

"You made this?" he asked not removing his eyes on my portrait. I didn't expect that. I believed he already knew that I like painting so it should be obvious that it was mine and of course made by me.

"Yes." I replied proudly with a little smile on my face.

The painting was an image of a girl surrounded by different colors as if it was dancing around her. Also, her hands were together with a string tied around her wrist.

Akashi-kun remained silent.

My smile broadened when I saw him still looking on it. I love it when someone bothers to look and when they appreciates it. And...I supposed he was.

"It's about a girl who wants to be free from her responsibility to follow her own dream, but…she can never be free that's why there's a string on her wrist." I said explaining what the painting was about because it was only natural to do so. (I think)

He turned to me, eyeing me from head to toe. Without any ado, he spoke "Let's go."

I blinked twice. _He...Did he just ignore my explanation?_

He went to the direction of my door, opening it. I gritted my teeth inside my mouth while pointing my wide-opened eyes on his back. Oh how much I would like to punch him for ignoring my speech about my portrait. Ugh! Grr!

Regardless, I followed immediately grimacing at his back. I sighed in defeat because I knew that he was really like that and it was not like I could do anything to it. _Oh well, thank you for making me do a monologue about the meaning behind my painting_ "...at least tell me what you think." I whispered while sulking, still referring to my painting.

"The dress fits you perfectly." He retorted suddenly that it caught my attention making my disappointments fade.

I felt myself blush with his out-of-the-blue comment on my looks. I wasn't referring to my dress, I thought. Nevertheless, it made me smile. "T-thank you."

"Don't thank me. I just said what people usually say to a girl when wearing an overly exposed outfit like that for the first time."

_Aw_.

That, indeed, wasn't a compliment. So harsh. It was not like I wanted to wear this though. Overly exposed? It was just my clavicle. The rest of my body was covered, although it was too fitted revealing my thin and unladylike figure.

Outside the hotel, a car was parked. We went inside and let the driver do his job to bring us on the place where the ceremony will be held, at Akashi-kun's house.

When we arrived, we were greeted first by my father. I could hear the sound of violin, piano and cello from outside. When we entered inside, I saw a group of musicians playing the said instruments. That explained everything; they hired an orchestra just for this gathering. I looked around but saw no one except my father and Mr. Akashi, of course Akashi-kun too.

Until my father held my back and said "Izumi, go upstairs for a while, you too Seijuro-kun." He pointed his forefinger up. "We'll call you when the visitors are here." He said as Mr. Akashi nodded.

"Yes." It was my favorite word when talking to my father - _Yes_.

Akashi-kun who looked uninterested agreed as he went upstairs. I followed. We stayed in a room, probably their living room here at the second floor.

He sat on the sofa as he crossed his arms. He closed his eyes ignoring the fact that I was with him. I didn't hear him telling me to have a sit. He was not a gentleman, definitely.

I sat on the opposite side of the sofa. Boring, this situation was so boring. nothing to do, to talk so I ended up playing my dress by running my palm on it cloth was just so smooth that it caught my interest. I pinched it, squeezed it and etc, just to make myaelf busy for a while.

When I got bored of my stupidity, I leaned my back as I rolled my eyes around the room until my eyesight trailed on my right. My curiosity activated when I saw a large picture frame hanging on the wall. I stood up to come and have a closer view on it.

I narrowed my eyes. On the picture was a woman, she didn't look so old but not that young either. Maybe, she was on her mid-20 on this picture. She was crouching while embracing a young boy who was holding a ball. The woman had a soft smile as she stared at the young boy who was smiling from ear to ear.

My mouth parted a bit as I abruptly turned on my back to eye at Akashi-kun whose eyes were still kept close.

"Could it be…" I mumbled.

I looked back again to the photo, staring it for a few minutes with curiosity, confusion, but most of all admiration.

Afterwards, I heard footsteps behind. "What are you doing?" he asked, that voice belonged to Akashi-kun.

It took me a while to reply. I didn't know how to ask him this but...

I moved my head on the side to look at him. "Akashi-kun…" I muttered not sure whether to continue my question or not. It may be too personal but i was just really curious. Adding the fact that, I had already an idea.

He frowned. "What?"

"This…who is she?" I asked, reverting my eyes back at the picture.

He didn't answer right away. It was like he stared on the photo too.

I glanced at him, studying his expression. I wished I could read his mind to understand what was running on his mind right now. Until, without me expecting, I saw it clearly. It was as if his eyes answered me. There was a trace of longing in the way he stared at the photo. It was the gentle eyes he wore when I saw him back then on his room, on the balcony.

There was no need for him to answer that because his reaction confirmed my guess. It was her.

His mother.

Knowing it, I decided to change my question, "Where is she now?" I asked.

Without removing his gaze on the woman from the photo, he answered "Gone."

I looked at him with sad expression on my face. I wasn't that sure on how would I classify his expression but I'm certain that he missed her. Those eyes spoke for him.

_I think I understand now, the reason why you're eyes are so cold. You're hiding it, aren't you?_

I didn't realize that my right hand travelled on its own all the way to his fingers. "You were…lonely, Akashi-kun…" was what escaped my mouth as I held his hand. Why did I do that? Sympathy? I don't really understand, i just felt sad for him.

He gruffly glanced at me after hearing my words and then, he pulled his fingers away from my hand.

He turned his back, "Izumi, I suggest you keep opinions like that to yourself." He said going on the direction of the door, "I'll go ahead first."


	7. Engagement Part 2

Okay, there was a part of me that was embarassed for saying that. I think he was somewhat offended. Why did I let my mouth ran again without thinking? Still, I won't get it back. I said that because that what I saw and felt, Akashi-kun was probably just lonely.

"Izumi-san, it's time." someone peeked behind the door.

I glanced then moved to exit the room. "Where's Akashi-kun?" I asked.

"He's waiting you Izumi-san." He replied escorting me to the direction of the stairs.

I saw Akashi-kun standing, I immediately went beside him.

"Seijuro-san, Izumi-san, please go on. They are waiting."

With that remark, we started stepping down on the threads of their wide stairs, from second floor to first. Almost there, I saw bunch of guests wearing formal dresses and suits clapping their hands as they greeted the two of us with a smile. I looked around; they were all strangers to me.

When we reached the ground, my father offered a hand to guide me as I walked at the center of these unknown people. Akashi-kun quietly followed us.

"Meet my daughter, Izumi." He said and then he moved beside Akashi-kun "and he's my future son-in-law, Seijuro." My father introduced us. Akashi-kun and I bowed politely on their front.

"Oh, they perfectly look good together." A woman commented.

"That's true." Another one said.

"Mr. Akashi, your son is handsome"

Akashi's father nodded while smiling at the woman who spoke.

"Your daughter too, Mr. Yanagi." She continued looking at me.

My father raised a brow jokingly, "handsome?"

The woman laughed. "Beautiful, of course."

I was sneering and scoffing in the inside because I knew these people didn't mean everything they said. They just wanted to please my father and Mr. Akashi. And I hate getting compliment from someone who doesn't even know me. It felt like I was being lied to. But I was already used to this because my father usually told me facts about people inside and outside the business world since I was young so that was why I already knew how to handle this kind of situation. I just have to be polite and do what they ask me to do.

After that they began talking, laughing and discussing things about us until, again, as always, turned into their business and company's matter.

I wished they'd let me and Akashi-kun sit or rest while they were talking stuffs that don't concern us.

I stole a glance at him from my side. He had this serious expression but I felt how bored he was.

Suddenly, Mr. Akashi suggested that we should eat first before continuing the celebration. I sighed quietly at ease. My stomach was actually begging for food already. The guests went on their specific table. Akashi-kun and I also had our own table, just for the two of us.

While eating, he didn't talk nor look at me. It was as if I wasn't in front of him.

"Umm..." I grumbled, wanting to start a conversation but he quickly stopped me from saying "Don't speak when you're eating."

_Oh..._

Defeated, I put a spoon of rice inside my mouth. I just learned another fact from him: He has table manner.

I did what he said as I remained quiet until we finished our food.

Afterwards, he stood up going to the direction outside, in their terrace. I hesitated first if I should follow him or not. I don't know anyone here except him and our father so I decided to join him.

I crept all the way to his back.

The air breezed sending shivers on my neck and all over my arms, it was a cold night.

When he noticed me, he turned his head a little. I was expecting him to say "Leave" "Don't follow me" and the like but I didn't hear any. He remained on his position without uttering a word.

"Can I stay here?" I asked.

"If I say 'no', what will you do?" He replied with another question.

"I'll insist to stay, disobeying you." I said bluntly.

He didn't say anything. Maybe it was because he already knew that I won't go even if he told me. I decided to move, stopping beside him. We stood a couple of feet away from each other. He was staring above the dark sky as I fixed a look at him.

_What's so interesting in that dark space that you didn't bother to look away?_

Our current situation was as if there was a wall between us. Like he won't hear anything if i speak even though we're this close. Should I talk anyway? I asked myself.

"Akashi-kun…that woman,"

"..."

"What happened?" I asked wanting to know the meaning of 'Gone'.

He sighed, "Izumi, is that really your habit? Prying into my personal life?" His tone was deep and serious.

"I saw it, and I thought that you might be lone-"

"Didn't you hear me? I said keep useless opinions like that to yourself. You don't know a thing Izumi." He interrupted gruffly.

It took me a while before I could reply because he was right. I was guilty of being nosy. But...

I sighed as I turned my eyes to gaze at the same sky, "...That's true, I don't know a thing. It's because you won't let me that's why I keep on guessing, hoping that it might be the right answer to my own questions about you Akashi-kun." I said delicately. That was from my heart, I may be concern and that was why I wanted to understand him so I could help him.

"You're really annoying."

I smiled weakly, "I know."

Staring back again to him, I added "I guess…I'm starting to care about you that I don't know how I'll express it without me being as nosy as I am right now."

"I didn't ask you to care."

"But I did." I countered.

I saw his eyes twitched. Looking at me, he frowned.

That again, furious eyes that always give impression on how much he wants to make a hole on my face.

I stared at him, staidness was visible on my face, "...and I can't help it." I finished my statement with sincerity.

"Izumi? Seijuro? What are you two doing here outside? Come, I'll introduce the head of our sister company personally." Mr. Akashi interjected.

We both shifted our faces to him as if nothing happened. The heavy air between us suddenly turned into normal. We nodded.

Mr. Akashi smiled, oblivious with the tension that was revolving around Akashi-kun and me.

When we got inside, my father coughed getting the attention of the crowd. He began introducing us to them one by one as we went to their tables. I just smiled and bowed politely after hearing their names, Akashi-kun did the same.

It was obviously a fake smile but I bet they were not aware of it. After all, they believed that we were in good terms.

* * *

As the night grew longer with this celebration getting livelier for them, I was here, firmly standing on their front with my hands properly clasped together. Even though the people around me were really noisy, my mind was in void.

I'm already tired. I wanted to sit or lay in my bed. My eyes were already begging to close.

I want this night to be over and proceed to the next day.

My mind went back to reality when I noticed that they turned off the main source of the light. I saw nothing but the color black as I whipped wondering why they switched it off all of a sudden. Until, a few seconds, I heard the orchestra started playing a song. It was soothing in the ear, calm and in a slow beat while the lights again, turned on. But it wasn't as bright as it was a while ago.

It was immediately followed by the guests going at the center in pairs. I just watched as they began dancing.

_Slow dance, huh._ I commented on my mind.

Eventually, I heard Akashi-kun who was beside me sighing before calling my name. "Izumi."

I glanced from the corner of my eyes.

"They are looking." He said almost a whisper. And then, he suddenly went on my front slightly bowing half of his body as he offered a hand.

"…what?"I asked nonchalantly.

He abruptly grabbed my hand, "Play along, they want us to dance."

I quickly rolled my eyes around and saw tons of eyes focusing on us. "Okay, I got it." I murmured as we went at the center. The looks that the crowds gave us was like telling us to dance. As expected of Akashi-kun, he noticed it right away. This dance might be awkward considering our conversation a while ago, I thought. Despite that, it must be done.

When we reached the center, he quietly slid his arm on my back pulling me closer to him while his other hand gently grasped my right hand. I blinked whispering "aren't we too close?"

"It's a dance, what do you expect?" He replied impassively. He began moving his foot. Akashi-kun was the one leading our movement on this dance and I was impressed how good he was. We swayed following the slow beat of the background song.

I was staring at his face that had this subtle expression. He wasn't looking at me even though I think that we should.

_You're the biggest mystery for me._

I could never read his thoughts. I could never tell what his next move would be. But back then, when I saw those wistful eyes that started this confusion in my head, I felt like half of my questions were finally answered. Although, I was not really sure, like I said to him, I'm only guessing.

_Open up and trust me._

We were probably dancing for more than 3 or 4 minutes already, yet, I wondered why am I not feeling the tiredness anymore. For some unknown reason, looking at him this close made me feel good.

I was breathing his scent. I couldn't help but be fascinated by him.

_Closer, please get closer._

"Let me remind you Izumi, this is the sixth time you stepped on my foot. Do this properly." He suddenly spoke, still without looking at me. His tone was his usual cold and superior one. Instead of flinching, I found myself smiling with that remark of him. I've heard that a lot of times already and it didn't seem to matter anymore.

At first, it was a simple curiosity, and then, turned to concern. Did I unknowingly start investing more and more into this, to him, to our situation during the past months? That right now, I was looking at him with certainty of what I really feel about him.

There was something about him, a certain charm that made me want him to notice me in the same way I did.

"Yes." I muttered.

I set my thoughts aside for a while to concentrate on our first slow dance. With the guidance of the sweet melody, I transferred my weight back and forth then lifted and slid my feet slightly to move sideways varying it on Akashi-kun's movement.

I danced the night away with him as if we're the only person in this room.

I stared at him as he revolved me around him and when we faced each other again, I let my hands trailed his own hands, caressing his skin.

_I want to be near him. Make him smile and make him feel love._

I stepped forward, "I will wait for the day where you'll be the one to tell me the things I want to know about you, so until then…I'm going to stay beside you." I told him heartily. It was another of my thousands speech that I said without thinking. My calm demeanor was losing to him. I couldn't resist myself when I'm around him, only to him that I could say the things I think. And all of them were straight from my heart.

He looked at me and I felt breathless when I saw him smiled.

My mouth parted. It was the first time that he smiled at me like that.

_I..._

Bit by bit, the music faded. He stepped back. On bended knee, he kissed my hand gently. My insides were suddenly fluttering and melting, all I feel was pleasure.

_Am I dreaming? It was like he's doing what I wanted him to do._

And then, he stood up and I realized we were still close. The way he looked back in my way and the fact that he smiled. I realized it.

I could swear one thing at this very moment.

_Akashi-kun, you've done it._

He released my hands. I wish it never ended but it did. Our dance reached its limit.

I missed it already. The way he held my stare that much longer and the way he held me.

_You've made me start to fall in love with you._

"Akashi-kun" I mumbled. I was about to tell him that when my ears heard a loud hand of applause coming from the guests.

I blinked, my eyes were suddenly blinded for a while when they turned back the main light and when my eyesight finally adjusted, I became aware that they had been looking and encircling the two of us.

I glanced back at Akashi-kun, his eyes that seemed belong to me a while ago were now focused on these people.

"That was so sweet."

"I suddenly remembered my youth."

"They would definitely have a good future together."

I heard them as they gave their comments.

_Ah….I forgot, we are actually playing a show._ _It was all a show to satisfy these visitors._

_That's right, there's no way Akashi-kun would do that to me._

I smiled faintly.

It was followed by their endless cheer, praise and good lucks to our relationship. I don't know whether I should be happy or not.

Regardless, I told them "thank you" hiding my ruefulness. Akashi-kun just nodded politely after their statement.

_Why did I let myself be carried away?_

* * *

When the celebration ended, Akashi-kun and his father accompanied us on our way outside. Like always, our father shook their hands.

I faced Akashi-kun with a businesslike facial expression. "Thank you for the night." I said.

"Yes. Thank you as well." He replied.

My father opened the door of our car. I went inside as I secretly glanced at his back that was heading back inside their house.

_Turn back, look at me._

But no words, no sound. In the end, I wasn't able to tell him what I feel.

"Alright, let's go." My father told the driver and with that, we started moving parting my sight to him.

It should be normal; falling in love with your fiancé, with your future husband, but why it doesn't feel right?


	8. NORMAL CONVERSATION

**LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE: PLEASE READ:::**

**I love those reviewers who leave their comments especially those who spent their time on writing what they thought about this story…**

**AND WARNING: the following/future chapters will have an OOC AKASHI as well as UBER-MEANY Akashi…AND ALSO…IZUMI WILL BE A ONE HELL OF A DRAMA QUEEN. AND I WANT TO SAY MY SORRY IF SHE WILL ANNOY SOME OF YOU… TT^TT**

**I DID MY BEST GUYS SO…PLEASE DON"T STOP TELLING WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS STORY. NEGATIVE OR POSITIVE, I DON'T MIND. :)))) WELL THEN, SEE YOU IN MAYBE NEXT WEEK…**

***NERVOUS NERVOUS* GULPS***

**SORRY TOO FOR ABUSING AND REPEATING TERMS. ENGLISH IS MY THIRD LANGUAGE T^T**

* * *

When we first met, all I had in my mind was to do my job properly but I got swept up by him, and little by little….. I found myself falling in love.

And every day was getting worse.

Every. single. day.

When I open my eyes each morning, I had always wanted to see him. I wanted to talk to him and tell him.

And then one time, we met at the hallway. We paused and looked at each other.

On the surface, I was calm but secretly wanting to tell him what I feel while waiting for him to say something. But, he was quiet and his face was tracing an uninterested look.

A thought occurred to me while looking at his apathetic expression.

_He won't care about it._  
_It's okay, he doesn't need to know anyway._

So I decided to just bow and greet him instead, just like the normal. "Good morning, Akashi-kun". As much as possible, I didn't let this feelings control the expression on my face that was why, I was sure I look like my natural and serious self. _Keep it casual Izumi,_ I told myself.

"Good morning." He greeted back and then immediately looked away. When our shoulder brushed past each other, I looked back again. I stared at his back while comprehending my situation. I realized that there were only two options: tell him or keep it to myself. I decided on the latter.  
If I confessed, I would be aware of what he feels about me and I knew it won't be the words I wanted to hear.

Nevertheless, I didn't mind. I knew that my situation was pathetic, but I love him.

* * *

It was Rakuzan School festival. Our class hosted a small booth outside, a photo booth. I was assigned to gather some customers. I wandered around school while holding a sign board with "Class 1-C, Photo-booth. Remember your fun moments today!" written on it. My classmates told me to approach students who were in group then convince them to visit our booth. I did. I probably managed to bring four groups of customers.

And so, my shift ended. It was exhausting to walk continuously.

While resting at the side of our booth, Naruka-san suddenly popped on my front calling me in her high-pitched tone. "I-ZU-MI-CHAAAN~"

I tilted my head to eye her.

"My shift ended too. Let's go around." She said with a grin.

"Sorry, I'm already tire-"

She interrupted me when she abruptly grabbed my hand. "Come'n, it's our school festival, we should have fun too you know." She stated as she dragged me on the direction of the stalls that were selling food. We approached the one that sells fruit shake. Naruka-san bought one, glancing at me, she asked why I didn't buy my own. "My money is on my bag and I'm not thirsty." I replied.

"Eh, you should have your money wherever you go." She sighed, "I can't treat you, my allowance is probably ¼ of yours." She muttered. "No, it's okay." I said.

When she finished her drink, we went to the next stall where Dango was being sold. Naruka-san went ahead to join the line of customers, I stayed on my position.

Suddenly, I heard a clamor near me. I looked and saw a long line of students buying a food that looks like cotton, a cotton candy. I walked few steps nearer and stared on the sweet-candy. The way it looks was like attracting you to buy it as if those pastel colors were saying '_buy me buy me I'm cute_'. Yes, their colors were really attractive however, I can't because like I said to Naruka-san, my money was inside my bag and my bag was in the classroom. Still, my eyes didn't leave the said stall. I didn't exactly know why but maybe because of those colorful cotton candy.

Few minutes later, one of the students that were managing that stall approached me. "You've been staring on our product for a long time. " He said.

I tilted my head just to have a look at him because he was so tall and…and….familiar. He was the guy I met at the gym when I picked Akashi-kun on his practice before.

I looked at him confusingly. He then smiled before pulling a stick of cotton candy on their stall, offering it to me. "Here, you can have it."

I blinked.

_Eh?_

I tried to decline his offer as I slowly shook my hands on his front, "Um…no, I was just-" but I was interrupted when he reached my hand and placed the stick on my grasp. "It's my treat in place of Sei-chan." He said insisting the cotton candy to me. I hesitated at first as I stared at the pink cotton candy but seeing him I felt like he was really serious on giving it. I bowed slightly, "…t-thank..you." _Maybe, I'll just pay for it_, that was what I thought.

"Have you seen him?"

I shook my head slowly without removing my eyes on the candy. I was really really curious on this sweet food that my eyes won't leave it.

"Is that so, okay." He said and then he turned back. "Say hello for me when you see him" he added as he went back to their stall.

Simultaneously, I heard Naruka-san voice at my back, she was probably there before that tall man approached me and she definitely heard our conversation. "Hehh~ what was that? Are you cheating with your fi-an-ce?~" She spoke teasingly and grinning on my shoulder. I grimaced on her. That was irrelevant and how could that be called as cheating?  
"No." I replied bluntly.

"Aw…um, it was a joke." she mumbled.  
_Uh_.  
I stared back at the cotton candy on my hand, "I'll get my money and pay for this." I told her. I would never ever let to have a debt with someone, my father would definitely kill me if ever. Althought it wasn't cost that much, still, a debt was a debt. I left Naruka-san and headed inside the building. I went immediately to my classroom to get my bag, get my money and pay that tall man, as soon as possible.

On the hallway, while counting my coins, the corner of my eyes caught a sight of a red hair. I stopped because I knew who it was.

_Akashi-kun?_

The mysterious and subtle Akashi-kun was alone again while playing shogi, AGAIN.  
I was happy to came across with him so for no definite reason, I decided to enter inside. But before that, I had to eliminate this candy on my hand. And so, I quickly ate the cotton candy then put the stick inside my bag. I opened the door and tried hard not to make a noise even though I knew that he would notice it anyway.

"Izumi"

See, and he knew it was me.

"Um, Hello Akashi-kun."

"What do you want?" he asked.

His body was facing the window, with his right knee bended while the other one was kept on the floor. His eyes were glued on the board and he looks so serious while playing as if he was on a tournament. I went and sat on the desk beside him. Black eyes fixated on him as he moved the pieces of shogi on the board. "My feet brought me here. Is that a proper reason?" I replied and asked. It was not like I was making fun of his question, it was just the nearest answer I had thought.

He didn't speak. That was when I Realized how stupid my answer was, I cleared my throat and apologized. "S-Sorry." That was awkward.

Finally he spoke, "For what?"

"For…ahm..my answer but mostly for entering and sitting here, I guess." I replied as I cracked a laugh. I needed that to lessen this uncomfortable atmosphere between us. Add the fact that he was too serious here.

"I'm used to it Izumi."

I was surprised with that answer, "I-is that so…?" our conversation was getting awkward. "Sorry about that Akashi-kun."

I heard a clicking sound as he moved the pieces again. "You really like that word. Perhaps, it's your favorite." He said.

I didn't get what he was trying to say. I cocked my head, "Sorry but I don't underst-"

"'Sorry', you always say that."

I pulled my brows up, "Eh? Is that wrong?" I asked, still confused.

"No. I'm saying that you're apologizing too much." He said as he raised his head to look at me. I didn't reply because he suddenly frowned at me, it was as if there was something wrong with my face. Did I do something? I asked myself.

"There's something on your face, wipe it." He actually said what I predicted.

_Something?_

I winced in embarrassment as I quickly placed my palm on my face. I ran my palm on my cheeks but I didn't feel anything aside from my skin. Was he teasing me?

I removed the thought; Akashi-kun would never ever tease me. I rolled my eyes back to him again, "There's nothing in my face Akashi-kun."

He smirked curtly before stretching his arm. My head slightly pulled back realizing that it was heading to my face. "Akashi…ku-" And then, my words got cut when I felt his finger touching the skin on my upper lip, as if he wiped something.

He smiled a little, very little. "This one." He said showing me the tip of his forefinger. I saw a pink-ish dirt. "Ah! Cotton candy" I blurted out.

He frowned, rubbing that finger on the sleeve of my uniform. "You can have it." _Whoa, What was that? He was like disgusted for wiping that remains of the said candy. _I sneered, "W-well, sorry for making your finger dirty."

He glanced again briefly, "Again."

His words flashed back on my mind. _You're apologizing too much._

That made me quiet. I lowered my head instead as I stared at my feet that was wiggling in the air. I'm not that tall so sitting in this desk won't make my feet touch the ground.

Akashi- kun re-arranged the pieces, probably planning a new game, with whom? will he ask me? I don't know how to play shogi. And then, he did his first move and later followed by the first move in the opposite. I smiled with my lips pressed in thin line, good thing I didn't ask him. I would only end up embarrassed again. I forgot, this guy liked to play this game alone.

"Do you like it?" he suddenly broke the silence.

I didn't respond immediately because I didn't, again, get what he was saying.

"Too much sweet isn't good to your teeth Izumi."

"Eh?" I raised my brow. "Sweet?"

_Ah! The cotton candy._ I waved my hand "No, I'm not into sweets Akashi-kun…" dropping my hand, I leaned it on the desk, "…let's say… I was only curious on how sweet a cotton candy would be." I finished.

"What a foolish reason."

"Was it? Sor-Forgive me." I said trying not to say 'sorry' anymore.

"Same meaning."

I didn't know what to say to that. He was right, same meaning. But, the part that he was wrong was when he said that it was my favorite. Hell no, why would I? I was just taught to say my sorry to avoid arguments or complications. That was for the better.

BUT. I couldn't just let this pass. I mean, I was having a talk to this guy, the one who I'll marry so I thought it was okay to explain my point.

Tapping the tips of my fingers on the desk, I began "My father…always tell me not to eat unhealthy foods like that."

"But he doesn't mean not to eat at all." He said smirking at the end. I hate to admit it but he was kind of...right...again.

"Akashi-kun, it's time for your shift." A stranger voice interjected who appeared beside the door.

Akashi-kun stood up. "Well, see you around Izumi." He said before he could exit the room.

"Ah, yes."

When he left, I stared at the shogi board thinking what so good about this game, then I realized something: _Isn't this our first normal conversation?_ I smiled trailing my eyes outside the window. It was just a short time but it was different. He didn't act coldly, just calm and simple. I loved that attitude of him. I was in the verge of being a happy-happy girl while thinking of what just happened when I suddenly remembered something.

Wait

I frowned as I remembered that I was supposed to pay someone - that tall man.

And wait again,

_Who is he?_

I don't know his name.


	9. TICKETS

The sky was getting dark.

The school decided to have a small celebration for the success of our festival. From what I heard from Naruka-san, there would be a bonfire at the school ground. I didn't plan to join the celebration, choosing to go back at my hotel instead.

When the students were gathering on the field, I looked around searching for a tall man with long black hair.

I already had my bag with me; I just wanted to pay him before I left so I could finally be at ease.

Until..._LUCKY! _It was a good thing that he was tall, I saw him immediately. I approached him.

He was helping in arranging the big bonfire.

"Ano…"

He turned, "Yes, what is it?"

I leveled my hand to him, "Here."

He looked at my hand and he looks like he didn't get what those hands meant and more importantly, what was on those hands.

To save him a trouble, I said "It's my payment for the cotton candy".

"My, you don't have to." He said smiling. He was really kind and his voice was gentle. No, I wasn't attracted, I was just appreciating his good traits.

I reached his large hand and placed the coins on his palm. I bowed, "Thank you again."

He blinked at me. Before I could turn back, I then remember something, "I'll also say sorry, I wasn't able to say your hello to Akashi-kun when I met him a while ago." I finished.

"…U-uh."

Just after that, I turned around and walked away. It was really not proper to have a debt with someone.

Before I could exit at the main gate, I heard someone said my name.

"Izumi"

I shifted my head on my left, then on my right. With this bunch of people around, it was hard to tell where the voice really came. I saw no one on my sides so I continued walking. Maybe, it was intended to someone, maybe there was someone who also had a name of Izumi.

I haven't made it far from school when I felt someone suddenly held my hand. My body temperature suddenly went up, startled. I quickly shoved my hand away and turned on my back. I was absolutely nervous but it disappeared when I saw who it was. "Eh? So it was just...Akashi-kun." I said exhaling in ease. Walking alone in this dark street and then someone suddenly touched you, that, of course, will make anyone panic.

"Just?" he repeated looking at me disapprovingly.

"Ah no, I mean, I'm glad it was Akashi…kun." I said then I recomposed myself. "What is it?" I asked him.

"Come with me." he said as he walked on the opposite street. It was as if he was sure that I will follow.

He was right, I'll follow him. I will always follow him.

He walked and walked and walked. My eyes fixed on his back until he stopped. I almost hit my face on his back. I studied the place and saw that it was a basketball court.

"Akashi-kun, why did you bring me here?" I asked.

He dropped his bag on the bench, unzipping it, he then pulled out an envelope.

"Sit here." He told me and I did it immediately. He gave me the envelope just after I sat, looking at him with a confused face, I asked "what is this?"

"They are gifts from the visitors during our engagement night." He said as he went inside the court. Picking a ball, he dribbled it three times while I get my eyes on the envelope. I opened it and saw tons of tickets.

"I didn't know that they gave these." I said checking and reading what was written on them.

"That was your fault for drifting your thoughts away that night."

Let's say I didn't hear that harsh words, I thought still reading the tickets and pretending oblivious. They were all tickets for two to enter a theater, a museum, a zoo, and an amusement park. My brows wrinkled when I read the other like a private hot spring, and it got calm when I saw some normal tickets like a plane ticket to a country of our choice. When I finished, I glanced at Akashi-kun who was already playing.

I was about to tell him that I'm done reading it but instead of calling his name, I ended up watching him and admiring his skills. He isn't that tall but all of his shot got inside the basket so easily.

_Are you trying to make me fall deeper? Seriously, I'm loving this scenery...of him...in front of me._

He was already bathed in sweat and I saw from this position that he was also gasping for breath as he ran around the court. And although he looked exhausted, it won't change the fact how amazing he was right now in my eyes. And then, I saw him glanced at me "Are you done?" he asked.

I promptly replied with a nod. He made a stance as if aiming for a three point shot. But before that, he told me "Choose one from those tickets."

_Ah, those all mighty voice._"W-we are not using them all?" I asked.

"No. I don't have that much of free time Izumi." He said pausing under the basket. I looked again on the tickets on my hand, thinking hard.

"I-I'll choose the plane ticket, Akashi-kun." It was to any country. I could use this to visit America, I thought.

I heard him dribbling the ball again, "Okay." He replied.

"Is this the reason why you bring me here?" I asked stepping inside the court on my own accord.

"Yes."

So that was it, I thought he wanted me to see him play.

"Will you tell me to leave now?" I said in a low tone.

He stopped and looked at me, his eyes were serious but I'm glad it was not a glare. "You should know the answer to that." Still, there was a bitterness on his voice.

_That's right and I know that the answer is going to be a 'yes' again, but I still don't want to go._

_I still want to see him._

"Can I stay for a while? Um, I can pass the ball to you so you don't have to pick it repeatedly." I suggested running on the direction near the basket.

He sighed, "Do what you want." He said shooting another 3 points.

I counted his shots in my head, when he reached 50 points, I accidentally shouted "You just scored 50! Akashi-kun, great!" while smiling ear to ear. That was how happy I am for those points. Realizing what I have done, I immediately bowed at him saying my sorry. I let myself lost the control again, I thought.

It was as if he didn't mind what I just said because he didn't react or say something, instead, he went back on the bench to sit.

He probably felt the tiredness now, what should I do in this kind of situation? Oh, that's it. I quickly went to my bag and pulled my handkerchief. I walked in front of him, offering it. He glanced at my hand and I almost passed out when he accepted it.

"Thank you." he said.

I remained standing while staring at him. "I think you should change your t-shirt Akashi-kun. It's bad to let the sweat dry especially on your back." I told him.

"Don't tell me what I already know Izumi." He said as cold as the breeze of air here. I just smiled. He then threw my handkerchief on my face.

Now, all I see was a white cloth.

When I removed it I saw Akashi-kun wearing a new shirt. _Did he purposely throw this to me?_

I sat beside him but we were not that close. Probably, 1 meter apart.

I picked the plane ticket that I chose. Staring at it, I said "Akashi-kun, I…actually have a selfish reason for choosing this. I want to-"

"You want to visit your country." He interrupted using a statement. That showed how sure and confident he was.

"Yes and…you don't have to accompany me if you don't want." I said.

He smirked at me wryly, "Are you sure Izumi? Because, I could tell you want me to come."

My jaw dropped, abash that he was right. He was like reading my mind. I looked away, "What are you saying Akashi-kun. You're busy in school and in your club so it's okay if you'll say no." I said even though I want to say 'yes, please come with me'. That would only be a self-centered decision.

Akashi-kun chuckled softly. I looked in the corner of my eyes and saw his arms leaning on the surface of the bench as he stared at the sky. "Can't you be honest sometimes? You're so easy to read Izumi."

My eyes narrowed. "W-what do you mean Akashi-kun?"

"I'm saying that you don't have to show that kind of façade in front of me."

He was starting to baffle my thoughts, "I don't get it." I said placidly.

He sighed, "You always pretend serious and calm when the truth is…you get annoyed, scared and embarrassed easily."

I didn't respond immediately, for it took me a moment to fully digest what he said. And when I did, somehow, I was lost for words.

He smirked, "See, are you surprised to understand your attitude?"

I frowned, "…you can't be sure Aka-"

"Are you doubting me?" I winced with the tone he used when he spoke. It was like saying that he can never be wrong.

"No." I gave another thought about it as I looked at him with a quizzical face. "Is that wrong?"

"You already knew the answer to that." he replied while fixing his bag.

It was silly of me to ask that, he was right. I knew the right answer; I just don't want to admit it. If I grasp it mentally, almost every time I tried my best to mollify what I really feel. What can I do? It was just how I should be.

He might not care about this but I knew I had to explain my reason. "…my father..." I began and I saw him glanced for a second "…since I was a kid, he would always tell me to act properly and well mannered in front of anyone." I explained.

He stood up sliding his bag on his shoulder. "Izumi…you don't have to do everything that your father tells you to do." He said.

"But, he's my father and…and he said that he knows what's best for me." I stated.

"I knew that you're naïve but I didn't expect this extent so let me give you some knowledge, you yourself is the one who knows what is best and not for you. Generally speaking, just do what makes you feel good."

I was awestruck and at the same time hurt with his forthright attitude and the way he delivered it. How could he be so straightforward when it comes to a topic like this and be secretive whenever I ask him about his personal life?

It was like I was being lectured. I comprehended all words he mentioned while gazing at his figure. Unable to think of words to reply, I could only put a smile on my face.

"I'll go now." He said turning at his back. I stood up. "Then…" I blurted out.  
_No need to resist my manner this time._ _He said it; just do what makes you feel good._

He shifted just the side of his body to face me. "What?"

I didn't hesitate. "…if I tell you something that feels really good…but doesn't seem right, what will-"

"Izumi" he interrupted. "The fact that it doesn't seem right means there's something wrong." he finished as he slightly plastered a smile on his face. With that, he proceeded to walk leaving me behind. I watched him as he faded.

_There's something wrong?_

_What's wrong?_ I sat again on the bench followed by a sigh, doleful.

If I would think what was wrong, it was definitely that. He won't like it. He didn't feel the same. That was the reason why it didn't feel right.


	10. AMERICA

It had been days since I last talked to him, and I badly missed his voice. I wanted to hear them even though his tone was always sharp and harsh. I wanted to see his face, his hair too and I would also include those two-colored eyes…in short, I missed him. I missed Akashi-kun.

My mind that was being consumed with everything about Akashi-kun was suddenly interrupted by the loud ringing of my phone. I picked it up immediately thinking that it might be my Dad.

"He-"

"Where are you?" Said by the other line not waiting for me to say my _Hello_. This tone and this kind of attitude is familiar, i thought abruptly glancing at the screen of my phone. It was an unknown number but I didn't think I had to ask his name since I already knew who it was.

I coughed, "A-akashi...kun? Where did you get my-"

"I have your number since the beginning. Now, tell me where you are?" _Why do he always cut my words. Err._

"..My hotel, why?"

"Get ready, i'll pick you up." He said. I sat up in surprised "wait, what? You're comi- _*beep*_"

_Ah, he hung up._

I quickly got off from lying and headed immediately to my closet. _Panicked mode. No time to ask why and what._ I wore the first dress I saw inside. I untied my hair to comb it when I suddenly heard a knock.

_Eh, already? So fast._

I peeked at the mirror and saw that my hair was like a broom, my eyes winced hearing the second knock. I decided to tie it back while going on the direction of my door. I opened it smiling "Good morning Aka- …eh?" My face dropped when I saw that it wasn't Akashi-kun, instead, it was one of the hotel personnel.

He bowed in front of me, "Good morning Yanagi-san, I was told by Akashi-san to inform you that he's waiting outside."

"Ah, I see. Okay." I replied calmly as I stomped all the way outside.

I saw a car parked at the front and noticed Akashi-kun was inside at the backseat. I opened it but it was lock. I knocked on the mirror, Akashi-kun rolled his eyes at the corner, I made a lip sing saying 'Please open'.

Then, the door opened. He was next to me; this brought back the memories during our second meeting when he was also sitting beside me.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"America." He said, my eyes blinked twice before widening it directly to him. "W-what?"

His slightly opened his eyes, "You heard it right Izumi."

"Yeah, well...I mean why so sudden, I'm not prepared, I don't have my luggage with me."

"I told you to get ready."

I raised my brow, "huh? But you didn't say get ready because we're going to-" I stopped when he suddenly glared at me. "S-sorry." I muttered looking away.

_I didn't bring all my money too._

We stayed quiet until we reached the airport.

I think he should be awarded as the quietest person ever while traveling. People tend to have some chitchat in this kind of situation. I sighed quietly, getting myself comfortable on my seat. It will take some hours for us to arrive in America, might as well take some nap for a while, I thought.

When I woke up, I found my head leaning on Akashi-kun's shoulder. I flinched "s-sorry." Then, I noticed he was also sleeping. I smiled, glad that he didn't know how I made his shoulder a pillow.

Staring at his sleeping face, a thought occurred to me. This might be ridiculous but I always see this in some romantic movies, the scene where they will use this chance to plant a ki-...No! I brushed the thought away feeling embarrassed. I love this person but it was just one-sided so that would be stupid of me if I did that. And also, he might kill me if he found out. So no, no, no, just no.

I stared at his sleeping face again. He looked so peaceful; strangers won't think that he was actually an intimidating person. I leaned my back still keeping my eyes at the side of his face. I stayed like this, caring for his appearance instead of the wonderful view outside the window. Akashi-kun's skin was better than those white clouds.

Sooner, I was getting sleepy again. My eyes were half-closed but I resisted in closing it. I wanted to cherish this moment; it was not every day that I got to stare at him this long. Until, he suddenly shifted his head at the side where I was being seated. His eyes were still close though. I assumed he was still asleep. More importantly, our face were directly at each other, the only problem was that he was sleeping and I was not. I was the only one enjoying this situation.

I was about to touch his face when he finally opened his eyes. I blinked, he trailed his eyes on my hand and as if he read what I was supposed to do, he narrowed his eyes.

"N-no, it's not what you think Akashi-kun." I countered even though I was already caught in act.

He looked away focusing in front, "How long I've been sleeping?"

"Almost 1 hour...but I also fell asleep so I don't know the exact."

He glanced at his phone, "We're almost there."

I nodded, "yes."

* * *

When we arrived, a broad smile was plastered on my face. I missed this country. I looked around, it was still the same.

"So, what are we going to do here?" He asked abruptly.

I raised my brows, clueless. "What? um…"

_I'm visiting my home, what about Akashi-kun? Should I tag him along? But, will that be okay to him?_

He frowned at me, "Don't talk on your mind. I asked you what we are going to do here." He said.

Akashi-kun was really one hell of a mind reader. Geez.

I pressed my temple as if thinking hard. "Um...do you want to...come with me?" I asked because I know, even though he said he will accompany me, still who knows...he might have another agenda here.

"Isn't that what I'm doing right now?"

"I mean visiting our house." I clarified to him. My reason for going here was just to visit my place.

"Yes." and he agreed. Wow, I felt happy.

I smiled, "O-Okay...Then, let's go."

* * *

Standing on our front house like this made me feel nostalgic. I've missed this place so much.

I knocked on the door and the head personnel (housekeeper) greeted us. "Maam Izumi?" She uttered my name as if she just saw a ghost. "When did you get back?"

I smiled, "Just now."

I stepped inside then told Akashi-kun to come in.

"Pardon my interruption Maam, but who is this man?" She asked. I glanced at Akashi-kun, he was glaring at her. I coughed, "Ahm...this is Seijuro Akashi and...my fiancé." I said. (Saying that word 'Fiance' still felt so awkward.) She then looked at Akashi-kun skeptically while tilting the side of her glasses. "So he's the one. It's a pleasure to meet you Seijuro."

Akashi-kun twitched his eyes. I winced. _Crap, not his first name._ "Ah! we haven't eaten yet, can you prepare us some food Shirley?" I interjected. She nodded and went to the direction of our kitchen.

I sighed, "Akashi-kun, sorry about that…unlike in Japan, we refer each other by our first name." I muttered.

He glared, "I'm not as simple-minded as you Izumi, I know that thing. And, don't think I can't understand English because I do." He said crossing his arms.

"I-is that so…" I cracked a smile, "Did he just say I'm simple-minded?" I mumbled and it was followed by a glares coming from him, hinting that he heard it.

"Well! Shall I show you to your room?" I chimed in.

I checked first the inside of our guest room if it was clean before I let him in. "You can use this room while staying here Akashi-kun." I said pointing my arms inside. He walked inside and before I could close the door for him, he turned to look at me and said "Two days. After that, we will go back."

"Yes." I said, "By the way, Akashi-kun, if there's something you want…just tell me. My room is located-" He slammed his door close as if not wanting to hear what I was supposed to say. _Aw. So mean, _I grimaced and sighed before bolting all the way to my room.

It was still the same, as messy as it was when I left. My finished and unfinished painting were still scattered on the floor. I made sure that my door was locked so the maids won't be able to enter, I didn't want anyone fixing or cleaning my room except me. I flopped on my small bed, arms wide open as if I was giving it a big big hug.

Few minutes later, I got off to open the wide sliding door to breathe some fresh air. I frowned when I realized something important, looking on my clothes, I hurriedly went to my closet.

I was right._ It's empty._

I'm dead, I thought, seeing that my closet got nothing aside from my old uniform when I was still studying here.


	11. SMILE

For some hopeless kind of reason, I found myself standing in front of Akashi-kun's room. Gathering my courage, I knocked twice. When he opened it, I forced out an embarrassing kind of smile as I awkwardly greeted him with a "H-hello, Akashi-kun…"

"Izumi, what is it?"

I said a while ago that if he needed something, just tell me. In the end, I was the one who needed his help. The worst was, knowing that this was my house, why did I end up the one needing help? That was because, I was in big trouble, I was in need of clothes to wear during our stay here.  
And to have clothes was to buy one, and to buy one, I needed money.

"I was hoping that maybe…um…"_This is embarrassing_ "…you could lend me…some…m-money?" _Phew!_ I said it. My father would kill me if he found out that I asked some money to someone. I pressed my lips while waiting for his reaction. _Forget about Dad and the debt, this is urgent._

"What will you do with it?" he asked, thank god he didn't seem mad.

"Clothes, I need to buy some clothes!" I said clasping my hands in front of him and imitating the best puppy eyes I could copy with all my skills.  
When he didn't reply, I decided to explain why I need those. "I-I wasn't able to bring some clothes and…money so I really need your help." I noted now squinting my eyes still feeling ashamed.

He sighed, "That's your fault for not being prepared, wait here." He ordered. _Wait, it's your fault for not telling me properly that we are going here._ Couldn't say that, no way, so I waited for him and some seconds later, he showed up again. "Let's go."

I blinked at him. "You're coming with me?"

"Yes."

"Eh? Are you sure?" I said.

"Do you want clothes or not?" he abruptly said.

"I want!"

"Let's go so we can go back immediately." He said and then we went outside.

* * *

I bought enough clothes that will last for two days. Picking and choosing them quick because Akashi-kun said the he didn't want to wait long. I didn't mind though as long as he'll pay for it. When he paid them all, we decided to go back. We just walked because it wasn't that far from our-I mean _my_ house. The way we walked together was as if we were on a date, but it was not a date for him of course. I glanced at his hand wishing it was holding mine. That was what it likes to be on a date, holding hands. However, there was no way I could reach for it just because I wanted to, he would probably shove me away with matching fury eyes darting me. Just thinking it sent shivers on my skin.

Meanwhile, I noticed that it was getting cold and thought I could use this to start a conversation. "Isn't it too cold tonight?" I asked breaking the long silence between us. I stared at the sky, "Maybe it will snow?"

"Yes." Thanks god, he bit the topic .

"You think so?" I asked rubbing my palm.

"It's not '_I think so_', rather '_I'm sure it will_'." He said.

"Huh? Sure?" I said raising my brows at him. I gulped when I saw him with a disapproving expression on his face. "I-I mean, of course, it's going to snow. Akashi-kun p-predicted it right." I said contradicting what I thought first.

"It's a common sense Izumi, this kind of temperature hinted that."

"T-that's right." I said and then it ended that topic. I probably lost the count of how many times he sarcastically spoke to me.

I sighed, "Why do you always talk to me this way?" I mumbled.

I saw him smirk, "It's because you keep asking questions that are easily answerable if you will only use your mind."

_Aw._

"I'm starting to get piss with your choice of words Akashi-kun." I said frowning at the end.

"Then get piss." He said. I paused from walking, "What?" I asked.

Akashi-kun stopped too, he turned to face me. "Just like what I said Izumi. Get mad as much as you want." He said.

Glowering, "I'm angry now." I said.

"That's it?" leveling his face to mine, "I was expecting something more intense than that. I'm actually curious to see an 'angry Izumi'." He muttered smirking.

"An angry Izumi?" I repeated scowling. "Don't refer me as if I'm a thing!" I exclaimed. That was probably the first time that I talked that way. This was also the first time I used that kind of tone. "You're being too much Akashi-kun." I yelled gritting my teeth as I glared at him.

He straightened his body and I was surprised when he suddenly patted my head. "See, you're being honest now." He smiled.

That made me immobile for a second. "W-what…"

"You don't have to keep your calm all the time Izumi. Show what you feel. No one can see you aside from me." he said.

I frowned upon hearing those words. I wasn't sure if it was an advice or a kind of a joke or something but what I was sure of was, he delivered it nicely. "Y-you're being odd Akashi-kun, what's this?" I said lowering my head, my tone was back to normal. Bewildered and confused with the kindness of his voice. Was he really Akashi-kun? Also, he just smiled at me.

Smile.

That was the least thing I would expect from him. Still, I was sure he smiled.

_Am I hearing and seeing this right? This isn't some kind of a show or act again right?_

"What are you doing? Get your feet moving." He called. When I tilted my head I saw him already few steps away from me. The side of his body was the one facing me, both of his hands were inside his pocket. I tried to glare just to test him but he just smirked. _He's so odd tonight._

_Is he finally opening up to me? I could say that...maybe?_

I smiled and hurriedly ran beside him. He treated me that way just for that, for me to realized that.

"You did that on purpose." I assumed.

"Took you long enough to noticed." He said smiling again.

That gentle smile. I love him the most whenever he inched his lips like that.

"Thank you, I'll make sure…I'll be honest whenever I'm with you but in one condition Akashi-kun…" I looked at him as we walked. Cherishing this once in a lifetime moment because I don't know when I'll ever walk this close to him again, I spoke with a heartily smile on my face "…don't fake a smile in front of me."

I didn't realize we already reached our destination. In front of our main gate, he paused and turned on me "I don't remember faking a smile to you since the beginning." He said impassively before continuing inside. But I felt the sincerity from him when he said that.

I cocked my head. _Wait, then…._

"Akashi-kun!" I called, I was still standing beside our gate while he was already at the main entrance door. "Back then, during the engagement…when you smiled at me…i-it wasn't an act?"

He twisted the doorknob to open the door, he then turned his head slightly but I couldn't see his face. I'm only relying to the dim light provided by our mini bulb attached at the ceiling.

"Do I have to repeat myself?" he said.

He didn't say Yes but I won't consider that a No.

Suddenly, I found myself let out an air I didn't know I was holding. My vision was getting watery, crying, maybe it was the thing they called 'tears of joy'. Akashi-kun already went inside and probably headed to his room already.

I rubbed my eyes, I can't be crying when I'm this happy, so happy to hear that. All this time, I thought I fell in love with that fake smile of him.

The same time, I felt tiny white flakes touching my skin.

That moment, just like what he said. It really did snow.

I opened my palms and welcomed them on my grasps.

_He is really amazing. It's snowing._


	12. MOBILE TALK

The next day

Lying in my bed, I kept on repeating what happened. It was so simple and yet I'm already this happy. _What a shallow feeling._

It was still snowing outside. I wondered how I should spend this day.

I stood up. Maybe organizing these paintings will make this day productive for me, I thought.

When I finished, I thought of visiting Akashi-kun on his room.

Again, I knocked twice.

He opened it and I greeted him with a broad smile on my face. It's okay, I'll show what I feel and I'm happy to see him so I'll make it obvious.

He greeted back and stared at me for a second before asking what I came for.

"I want to see you." I replied truthfully. Wow, did I really say that? It sounded so casual in my ear but felt awkward.

"Are you done?" he asked curtly. I raised my brows.

"You already see me." he said, when I saw him about to close the door, I put my arms in between to prevent it, "W-wait, what I mean was I want to see you, to talk to you and then stay here for a while not just to literally see you." I said catching my breath at the end.

He smirked before letting the door wide open. I came in and looked around.

Akashi-kun laid on his bed.

"Is this what you did all day?" I asked.

He didn't respond. I suddenly felt guilty for letting him be as bored as this though he didn't say that he was bored. It was just another guess of mine. I sat on the side of the bed. "Do you…want to go outside? There's a basketball court nearby." I suggested.

"No." he replied.

"Then, is there something-"

"Don't talk Izumi." He ordered.

I bit my lips.

I just wanted to be near him like this so…if this would grant that wish, then I don't mind not speaking at all.

Not long after, I glanced at him. Did he fell asleep? If yes, then this was the second time that I saw his sleeping face.

I moved nearer, leaning my back at the headboard of the bed to saw a better view of him. I stayed on this position for a while as I smiled at his unconscious body.

It never crossed my mind that I would see him lying here beside me. What a wonderful sight. Although, I wished I could also lay and then hug him from behind, with his permission of course. That would be my happiest day of life.

"Do you hate the fact that you'll marry a girl like me Akashi-kun?" I whispered cheerlessly. It was one of the questions I've been wanting to ask him.

_I want a chance to make you as happy as you make me. _

"You're doing your drama again Izumi." He suddenly spoke.

_Eh?_

My eyes widened as I abruptly covered my mouth in embarrassment. I immediately slid on the corner side "S-sorry" and planned to ran back to my room. When I was about to stand up, he stopped me by grabbing my wrist, pulling me back to where I was sitting a while ago. I turned to look at him just to saw how close his face to mine. Froze, I think my body was paralyzed. My eyes were blinking rapidly. We were so close. "No. I don't hate it." he muttered fixing his two-colored eyes to my black orbs. That increased the speed of my blinking eyes. I think my soul will leave me in no time if he continue staring like this. "A-Akashi….kun?"

He released my hand, "Stay here." He said and went back from lying.

"Uh…" I was speechless.

_Wait, he replied my question. He doesn't hate it, then does it mean… _I shook my head. Should I ask him?

"Are you awake?"I asked.

"Why?" he replied.

"Can I ask something?" I inhaled gathering some strength. "You said you don't hate it, then…does it mean you-"

"Don't jump to your own conclusions Izumi." He said.

I clicked my tongue, frowning at his back. "You're being like this again." I mumbled, getting annoyed. I think I've had enough of this attitude of him. It was like I wanted to yell and get mad at him right now. "When will you stop talking like this? Akashi-kun…" I began, "Saying you don't hate it, of course I'll conclude the opposite!" I exclaimed clenching my fist, "…I'll be honest…I don't know what to think anymore, can't you be more specific and tell me the truth…it's getting hard, it's like saying you like this and at the same time not."

I paused ranting when he suddenly sat up. I waited what he would do next until he went on the direction of the window.

Crossing his arms as he looked outside, he suddenly asked "Have you ever play shogi?"

I looked away and leaned my head on the headboard as I stared at the ceiling. "What an irrelevant answer…" I muttered.

I heard a smirk coming from him, "As a rule, before you could defeat an opponent, you have to analyze everything first. Conceptualizing will come next…follow by the last which is doing what you believe is the correct move. Shogi, Basketball they are the same. And, I dare say the same goes to our situation."

"I see. Another example of your quizzical statement..." I said bending my knees this time, still not looking at him. I don''t think I have to see what kind of face he have right now. "Then, would it be safe to assume that what you mean when you said you don't hate it is because you're still analyzing everything?" I finished gritting my teeth at the end. Realizing that, didn't feel good, all this time… he was still on the process of examining me when on the other hand, I already fell in love.

With my last question, he didn't respond. I rolled my eyes on him. Finally, I could see him, he was leaning on the side of the window while looking outside. I wondered what it was that caught his attention.

"Can I give my opinion?" I asked, not waiting for his reply, I continued "…I think Shogi and this are different, this is reality while Shogi is a just a board game."

"No. They are the same. I can never be wrong Izumi." He stated so proudly.

It was like he was speaking metaphorically to me. I got it; he didn't care about me, about our marriage, about everything. That felt like I was defeated, that I shouldn't have to give my opinions anymore because...it would be his right anyway.

Still, I wanted to be positive with our relationship. "…but Akashi-kun, no matter what you decide, there's no way we can get out of this situation anymore." I said.

"Didn't I tell you before? We're not the same. You do things because they are all told to you, conversely…I do mine on my own. If I want to, I can say No to all of this."

Tears were building up on my eyes when I heard that. It was really hard to win over him. I hugged my knees, sinking my face on it and faked a sound of chuckle to him. "I see..." was the only words that left me. _He really didn't like this._

"You too Izumi…I think it's about time for you to examine what you really want." He suggested. His tone not changed, still impassive and unemotional as always.

_What I want is __**you**__, to be with you._

The silence stretched for a couple of minutes until it was broke by a knock behind his door. I tilted my head and glanced at him. Akashi-kun turned his body going on the direction of the door. When he opened it, a familiar face greeted us.

"Oh…is this Seijuro? My, I'm happy to meet you dear." She said, my face slightly lightened up seeing the face of my mother. I stood up immediately running towards her. "M-Mom." I uttered. When she eyed me, she slightly raised her brows, "Izumi, you're here too?" she asked looking me from head to toe. "I see, can't wait to turn 18?" she added.

I flinched, "No, that's not it. We are just-"

"We're just talking Maam." Akashi-kun interjected smiling a little to her.

"Is that so, hmm, well…" she smiled brightly again at Akashi-kun "I hope you're enjoying your stay here Seijuro."

"Yes. Thank you."

"I'll say sorry if I wasn't able to attend the engagement, as you can see I have lots of business matters to attend especially that my husband is travelling on and on to Japan."

"We understand, it's okay." He replied like a businessman talking to a fellow league.

My mother gently tapped his shoulders, "What a fine man. I like you." she commented, then glancing at me "Can I talk to my daughter for a while Seijuro?" she asked.

He bowed and I came outside to join my mother. When he closed the door, my mother began walking as I followed her. "Your reports Izumi?"

"Yes. Japan is still the same. I'm enjoying my school life in Rakuzan High and…"

"And?"

"Akashi-kun and I are going pretty well." I finished.

She paused, "What, you're still in the last name basis? Call him as Seijuro." She snorted. I winced, "Yes. Sorry."

"Good, so I just came to say hello to him. I'll leave the rest to you." she said, after that she went downstairs. I could hear her saying "Bring the luggage inside the car; I'll be late in my flight."

_Leaving again, huh?_

I just sighed going back to my own room. My parents were workaholic. This was the disadvantage of being born on this kind of family. It may be true, I can get whatever I want in terms of material needs but I'm lacking the affection from them.

_You too Izumi…I think it's about time for you to examine what you really want. _I suddenly remembered his words.

_What I really want? Do they even matter? It's not like I can have the freedom to do them anyway._  
I opened my door and stared at my canvases for a while before sighing again. I was probably tired, maybe I should take some nap, I thought.

Half hour later, I was still wide awake. I ended up thinking things instead of napping. I picked my phone, scrolling on the contacts, I entered on Akashi-kun's number. Good thing, I managed to save his number. When he answered, I immediately said "Hello".

It's funny to think that I called him even though we were below the same roof.

"What's this Izumi?" he said and I could tell he was frowning.

"Sorry if I called, I just…want to talk to you." I said.

I know, my reason was somewhat inappropriate. "No..i mean, I want to hear your voice for a while before I sleep."

"….." he didn't reply.

I smiled, "Why so quiet Akashi-kun?" I joked.

"You're annoying Izumi."

"I know right…hey, Akashi-kun…I was….actually mad at you a while ago to the point where I wanted to kick you off from your bed." I said.

I heard a smirk, "You dare to say that just because you're not facing me? What a coward girl are you."

As expected, he saw right through me, I laughed a bit. "So this is how it feels to talk to you normally. To be honest…I called because I thought hearing your voice might cheer me up." I said truthfully.

"Cheer?"

"Yes although your voice is always cold, sharp, and as if belittling my existence." I said.

"Aren't you being talkative Izumi?" he mocked.

"Oh? I thought you want me to be honest? This is the real me Akashi-kun." _Wow, just wow._ I was talking to him the way I talk through my mind whenever he was in front of me. Mobile phone made me do this, I'm glad I called him.

"Let's see how you'll react after this." He said in a jokingly tune.

"Yeah, by then…please don't do what you said before…remember? That 'kill'." I said smiling.

"….."

I glanced at my phone when he didn't respond wondering if he hung up. I smiled when I saw that he didn't, he just remained quiet, again. "Right right, I'll be serious now." I said, "By the way Akashi-kun, why did you refer me as "Izumi" when we first met?"

"Isn't that what you prefer?"

"How did you know?" I asked, bewildered.

"You're not used to be called as Yanagi, aren't you?" he asked.

"How did you know?"

"Don't ask the same question Izumi." He replied coldly.

"No, I mean…what made you think-"

"It was written all over your face." He stated.

My mouth parted. _Did I?_ "….." I sat up.

"If you're not going to speak, I'll hang up. You're wasting my time Izumi." He said hostilely.

"W-wait…don't- _*beep*_"

He cut off the line. I frowned, dialing his number again. "Hello Akashi-kun"

"What?"

I cleared my throat, "Can I call you…Seijuro?" Ah, I said it. What will he say? My heart suddenly drummed intensely.

"Why?" he asked.

I cocked my head, "W-why you ask? Well…um…you're calling me by my first name…a-all this time so…maybe, um…"

"Can't you talk properly?" he interjected.

"A-ah yes! Then I'll call you Seijuro…" I said clenching my blanket.

_He's not agreeing?_

I swallowed again, starting to get nervous.

"…Okay." He said.

In surprised, I lose my grip from my phone as my jaw dropped in disbelief. I was dumbstruck for a moment. I wanted to squeal and-and...scream.

I then picked it again, closing my eyes, I muttered "S-seiju-"

"What?"

I winced. "Seijuro, thank you."

"You're overacting." He said.

_Hey, what do you expect? I'm calling the person I love by his first name._

"So, are we done?" I heard him sighing at the end.

"Not yet, Aka-Seijuro. I want to hear more." I stood up going outside the balcony of my room. "That's right, um, S-Seijuro-kun…I don't think I can say this if I face you so can I use this as a chance?" I asked turning to my usual serious tone.

"Don't push your luck just because I'm going along with this call."

"It's okay, if you don't want, you're free not to answer…just don't hang up, and please listen." I said sitting on the floor as I gazed at the night sky. The snow had stopped but it was still cold, I didn't mind though. "I thought I should explain this to you." I added.

"…." He really didn't answer. Oh well,

"Remember when I said that you're lonely?" I began.

"That again, how many times do I have-"

"Please let me explain…" I interrupted him, "…it wasn't just a simple guess, actually…" I moved my phone on my other ear, "…I was always looking at you at school, and you're always alone. I thought you have some problems or worries, I didn't really care that much though. It was just a simple curiosity back then…."

"…"

"…until that time on your room, I saw another side of you and I'll be honest if I say that I love how you played your ball that time. You were like a kid," I smiled faintly, "..and no, I'm not making fun of you…let's say it was the first time I didn't saw that intimidating face you always wear. And that was it, I began caring and wondering the reason behind that until that night, you know, the one when I saw that picture of you and your mother. That concluded and somehow explained everything to me. I thought you were longing for her…" I paused for a second, he still didn't speak.

"…If you want some advice although I'm sure you don't.." I was smiling as I pressed my temples in embarrassment for the next words I'm about to say, "the annoying nosy girl you hated is going to say this…you don't have to be lonely anymore…I'm sure she's fine wherever she is right now and that you should smile more…Akashi-kun." I finished.

I waited him to say something but when he still didn't, I sighed. I was about to end my call when he suddenly spoke "Izumi" he called.

My body chilled, quite nervous of what he might say.

"I've been wondering about this, why you didn't join drama club?" he said.

"E-eh?"

And then, unexpectedly, he laughed a little on the other line.

It made me blush, "W-what are you saying, Akashi-kun."

"Nah, I'm just kidding." He said and I could still hear a soft laughing sound on the line.

"P-please don't laugh Akashi-kun!" I exclaimed bashfully.

He smirked.

I didn't notice that we were talking for almost an hour now. It really felt good to be able to talked like that to him. I wondered what kind of face he was wearing as we spoke.

"By the way Akashi-kun-"

"Referring me by my last name again?" He interrupted.

"Ah, sorry…Seijuro" I was twiddling my fingers right now, getting awkward to mention his first name.

"Yes?"

"When did you start playing basketball?" I asked to start a new topic.

"Why are you asking that?"

"Because….i can see how dedicated you are on that sport, I wonder when did you start."

He sighed again, "Aren't you asking too many questions?"

"If you don't want to answer then be the one asking." I said.

"I don't have anything to ask you." he replied.

"Aw, isn't that kinda cold of you?" I said laughing a bit.

I yawned as I felt my eyes pleading to close, I resisted it. I won't waste this once in a lifetime conversation with him. It was not like I could ask him as casual as this in person. I was also surprised to see that I'm being true to myself right now.

He was taking too long to speak. _Is he already sleepy?_ _Please, not yet_. I selfishly pleaded.

"…6 years old..." he suddenly said.

Hearing that made my half-closed eyes to open as wide as I can. "w-wow…that was too young." I complimented him. "So that was why you're so good in that sport." I smiled, "Let me guess, you used to join a lot of basketball lessons when you were-"

"No, my mother was the one who taught me." he interrupted.

_Eh?_

"I remember, I was fascinated with the basketball players I saw in T.V that time. My mother probably noticed it so one day, she bought and gave me my first ball. That was when I started playing basketball." he said.

I blinked, and blinked and blinked again. Akashi-kun was talking about his mother? Did I hear that right? I glanced at the screen of my phone. Yes, I'm still talking to Akashi-kun. He's opening up? Finally?

"Seijuro-kun?" I muttered.

"What?"

"You…finally talked about her." I smiled, "Then…will you tell me what-"

"I refuse." He replied curtly.

_The cold Akashi-kun is back!_

"I haven't finished my words yet." I said comically sweat dropping.

"Not like I have to wait for you to finish."

"Why so cold Aka-I mean Seijuro-kun?" Seriously I need to keep in mind that from now on, I have to call him Seijuro-kun not Akashi-kun.

"Are we done?" he asked.

"Are you sleepy now?" I asked.

"Why?"

"Well, since you said something about yourself…I thought maybe, I should show you something." I said insisting not to end this wonderful time of mine with him.

"What is it?"

"Heh~ Curious?" I teased.

"Shut up."

"Oh, sorry, I was just kidding…then, can you come here for a bit?" I said.

"Don't order me around."

"It's not an order Seijuro-kun, it's a request." I cleared.

He sighed and followed by a *beep*. He hung up. I stood up looking at the direction of my door hoping that he'll come.


	13. DREAMS

Few minutes later, my phone rang again.

I immediately answered it when I saw that it belonged to Seijuro-kun's number.  
"Hello?"

"Open your door."

I smiled broadly hearing that as I ran quickly to open it.

And tadaaa! I couldn't believed my eyes. He was really here, standing on my front. I didn't drop my broad smile as I stared at him.

He glared and said "Make it quick Izumi."

I suddenly felt nervous with the fact that he was here, talking to me personally after that bravery I played during our conversation via mobile phone. However, I had decided to be still true to myself.

Awkwardly, I cleared my throat before offering an arm gesture saying 'come in', "I'll show you my um..." I cracked a short laugh before continuing, saying this was just kind of uncomfortable for me because I was not used to this kind of situation like showing my stuffs, "...s-something...I mean m-my treasure..." I finished.

He raised a brow.

My eyes continuously looking on and off on him, "Please come in Seijuro-kun."

He walked in and it made me remember the time when he went inside my hotel in Japan. So nostalgic.

"What is this?" he asked as he revolved his eyes around.

"Like I said, my treasure." I repeated moving beside him.

"Your room is messy Izumi."

I laughed, embarrassed "I-is that so…"_ But that's not it._  
"No, what I mean is these portraits and canvases...my paintings." I clarified chuckling a little.  
What I was trying to show him was this, my collection of my different works, the canvases that I painted. "See, this is my other side Seijuro-kun, this is the only thing I could match on your perfection." I said earnestly.

He glanced at me as I looked at him in awe. "You are perfection, that's true. You're smart, athletic, a responsible captain, others say that…you're hot too." I chuckled quietly because of the word 'hot', "While on the other hand, I'm just me, ordinary student and I thought it's unfair to you to marry someone like me, but hey, I'm pretty good when it comes to this." I explained.

"Your point is?" he said turning his eyes on me.

"…about what you said a while ago about the thing I really want, this is it Seijuro-kun. This is what I really want to do...well, before." I said. There was a word 'before' at the end, because during the time that we talked, I unknowingly had decided and developed my new dream. And it was to be with him.

He looked at my portraits before going at the direction of my balcony. "I know that, Izumi." He said.

"Huh?"

I followed him outside, he placed his hands inside his pockets. My brows were knitted, confused of what he just said. "What do you mean 'you know'?" I asked.

"I know that this is what you want."

"H-How? I don't remember mentioning this to you." I said leaning my back on the railings.

He smirked, "You're referring to yourself when you explained to me the meaning of your painting back in your hotel. That was a representation of yourself." he said.

He was listening that time?

_FLASHBACK_

_It's about a girl who wants to be free from her responsibility to follow her own dream, but…she can never be free that's why there's a string on her wrist._

_END of FLASHBACK_

"I thought you weren't listening when I explained that." I muttered somehow happy to learn that.

"It was just the two of us there so even though I don't want to, I had no choice but to hear it all."

I stared at him, "You're really amazing Seijuro-kun. You knew everything and yet you still told me to examine what I really want, you could just tell me that."

"It's because you're such a simple-minded girl Izumi, you don't know how to think and act on your own unless someone told you." he said. Harsh words again coming from him.

"So you made me realized it on my own because you thought that it will make me do it? That's not possible Seijuro-kun. This might be what I really want but it's not like I can just do this if I want to."

"You're free to do what you want." he said.

"I can't, I already have my responsibility to you, to this." That was the truth. "This might be my dream since I was young but I don't mind not reaching them anymore…I just feel like I'm contented being with you." I confessed. I was planning to show him my works, to show him what I'm capable of but I ended up talking about my dream. How silly of me. "Also, it was all before, what I really want now is to be with you." I said smiling at him.

He frowned at me. _What? He don't believe me? _  
I squinted "that's true…" I said trying to convince him that I was serious.

He looked away, I didn't.

"You really like to paint?" he suddenly asked.

"Like…more like love, I love it."

"Then, put your focus on that." he said deeply.

"Was that an advice? Like I said, I don't mind it anymore, if I'm with you." I said. I was like hinting what I feel towards him.

_Should I tell him I love him? Right now? But, what if he rejected me instantly? What will happen to me? This can be the only chance to tell him. I don't know if I'll be able to stand as close as this to him again._

I closed my eyes, should I or should not? I kept on asking myself.

Nervousness started to bundle inside me, I had to inhale and exhale a couple of times to gather my courage. okay okay, I'll tell him.

When I opened my eyes, he was looking back at me. That made my words left and instead made my mouth agape. _I-I don't think I can….after all, maybe n-next time. I thought convincing myself._

I averted, digging my nails on my palm. It was harder than I thought especially if he was looking at me so straight.

As if he noticed my restlessness, he spoke "What's wrong with you?"

It was cold here outside my balcony but I felt the temperature of my body getting hotter. "N-nothing." _I see, I couldn't bring the 'honest me' if he is facing me like this._

He suddenly yawned. "It's getting too late, I guess I'll head back to my room." He spoke.

"Eh? Already?"

"What?"

I shook my head, "Nothing."

He glared and then he turned his back, he was about to step inside when I suddenly called him "Seijuro-kun!" I swallowed, "…can I kiss you goodnight?"

Hearing my own words made my eyes widened. Wait, what did I just say?

I slightly slapped my face, "S-sorry…that was a-"

"No." he replied curtly. That hurt a bit and at the same time calmed me. Haha. That was stupid of me to think that he would let me kiss him.

"T-thought so." I chuckled, embarrassed. "Then, goodnig-"

My words were cut when he suddenly turned back to me as he leaned closer to my face, and with that our lips met. When he parted, I stared at him with a stupid, clueless expression from my face. I didn't know if it was real or not because I heard him said "No."

Am I delusioning?

"How was it?" he asked smirking, that made realized that it wasn't a dream. It was the real him. He really did kiss me.

"E-eh?" my jaw dropped. I'll get it back, this was what it felt to be dumbstruck. I was sure of it. You know, when your overall body suddenly went shaking because of disbelief and you felt like sweating even though the atmosphere here at the balcony was undeniably cold.

"I'm asking you how was it?" he repeated suddenly glaring a little.

I cracked a laugh, "I-I thought you said 'N-No'?"

"That's true, I said No because you asked me." he suddenly held my wrists, "I prefer to kiss not the one being kiss, do you understand?" he asked with a smug look on his face.

I nodded immediately with that, "I-I understand…"

"About your answer, how was it?"

My chest-no, it was definitely my heart that was beating this fast. "How? It was…ah, so sudden?" I said nervously. My mouth trembling still.

"So you don't like it?"

"Ha? No-not tha-"

"Should I stop?" he said leaning on me as he slid his arm on my waist, pulling me closer.

"Let me finish!" I exclaimed, almost blushing. "I'm saying, you should tell me that you'll k-kiss me…before doing it." I finished trying to avert my eyes due to embarrassment on the tiny gap between us.

He leaned more; our nose was an inch away. "Shall we kiss again?" he asked almost a whisper and I could felt his warm breath on my cheeks.

This time, I looked at him…"…yes." I whispered back as I squinted my eyes, embarrassed for agreeing.

With gentle pressure, he pulled me closer to him, tilting my chin as he plant a soft kiss on my mouth. We both closed our eyes. That marked my second kiss, and similarly the first kiss that I'm fully aware of… It was so gentle, he was so gentle. It was still on my lips but I felt like I want another and more.

Maybe, for the first time, I'll thank my mouth who lost its control and suddenly uttered 'Can I kiss you goodnight?'

I wondered then, did my feelings finally reach him?

It lasted for what it feels like eternity, that when he drew apart, I felt my tears fell on the sides of my eyes. It was a cry of happiness. He turned on his back again, before he left he told me something that I wasn't able to clarify the meaning, more like I didn't mind it because of what just happened. I wanted to memorized it that I couldn't bother drifting my attention away from his face.

"I'll make your dream come true. Goodnight Izumi."


	14. COTTON CANDY VS POPCORN

I think I'm okay to die now. That moment when he kissed me was still fresh in my mind. However, I should have confessed my feelings too that time. What a waste of opportunity. Would it be safe to believe that Seijuro-kun finally made his decision and that decision was to be with me too? We'll be a happy family in the future. I smiled while thinking these.

All these thoughts were filled inside my head as I sat beside him here at the airplane. We were heading back to Japan now. I kept on humming as I stared outside the window.

I glanced at him, he was sleeping again. I decided to lean my head on his shoulder then reaching his hand, I gently held it. I want to stay like this for a while-…no, forever. I love him so much. I promise I'll tell him what I feel in the right time. Confessing inside a plane isn't romantic at all so I'll wait until I stand beside him again just like what we did back in my balcony.

When we arrived, a car was already waiting us, but it wasn't my car. It belonged to Seijuro-kun.

"See you in school Izumi." He said and he went inside.

I smiled at him as I waved my hand happily until they left. I frowned in my thoughts wondering why he didn't pay back a smile on me.

_He was shy? Probably?_

**-X-**

I took a rest in just one day, the next day, I went back to my daily routine. The school-hotel cycle.

"Hmm, what's with that smile?" Naruka-san asked me. We we're on the cafeteria eating our lunch. Instead of telling her the story of my romance with Seijuro-kun, I just plastered a smile to her. She snorted at me, "Odd, you're being odd, what happened? I heard you visited your country, that's the reason you were absent for a couple of days." She said.

"Where did you hear that?" I asked skeptically.

She smirked, "Connections"

"What?"

"Hello, I know where your hotel is, I went there to check you and the personnel told me that you went America for days." She said as she ate the last bite of her sandwich.

"Oh, is that so. Okay."

"By the way, today is the final match in Interhigh, wanna watch?" she suggested. How come I didn't know about this? Seijuro-kun didn't tell me this. I frowned, "Eh? Now?"

She nodded, "Yes, let's watch after our Home Economics subject."

I immediately agreed on her. I'll see him playing in a match. I can't wait to see that. I smiled again followed by Naruka-san scoffing beside me. "Gosh, you're really different today." She muttered. I just ignored her.

-**X-**

Inside the arena, we seated ourselves in the location where I could view him properly. The audience became hyper when the two teams finally came. They were introduced by the MC, when I heard the word 'Rakuzan High' I wanted to yell and cheer for Seijuro-kun but it wasn't really my thing to speak in that kind of a high tone. Instead, I just smiled fixing my eyes on the red head captain.

On the other hand, Naruka-san kept on squealing saying "Go Go Go Rakuzan High."

The match finally started but for some unknown reason, Seijuro-kun remained on the bench. The starter being Hayama (I remembered his name during the time I picked Akashi-kun for our meeting) and the one who gave me the cotton candy ( I still don't know his name) and the others, I didn't recognized them. All in all, they were from our team, so I want them to win.

In the end, our team won…without Seijuro-kun setting on the court. I sighed, I felt like I watched this match for nothing. Why he didn't play. While both teams were bowing at the center, the crowds cheered for our school.

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Our school won Izumi-chan!" Naruka-san yelled on my ear.

"Yeah, we won." I replied unenergetically.

"Eh? What's that? Aren't you happy?" she asked.

"Well…" I then glanced below eyeing the captain of our school.

"Oh, I see, he didn't play…it's okay…he's still as hot as always even though he was just on the bench." She teased laughing at the end. When I didn't respond, she tapped my shoulder, "Stop being dramatic, why don't you approach him and congratulate your fiancé instead." She suggested.

"You're right." I muttered and she moved her attention back on cheering.

I stood up, stopping on the way to make a glance at him again. They went back inside, probably heading back to their respective room.

I went outside and decided to just wait him to exit.

Few minutes later, I saw his teammates. I was greeted first by Hayama as he grinned broadly at me "Ohh~ Fiancee-chan?" he said.

_Fiancee-chan?_

"Akashi-kun is still fixing his things together with Reo-nee. Are you going to pick him up again Fiancee-chan?~"

I coughed quietly before bowing at him. "My name is Izumi. Please don't refer me as 'Fiancee-chan' Hayama-san." I stated calmly at him.

"Ahaha~ Okay okay."

He's still as rowdy as he was back then. After that, he went ahead. I went to the direction to their room. Leaning my back at the wall, I decided to wait for him to show up.

I played the bottle of water in my hand while waiting. I bought this for him. When I heard the door clicked open, I immediately fixed myself and my face brightened up when I saw him. "Hello Seijuro-kun." I greeted first with a smile.

"Izumi."

"Congratulation for winning." I said and I approached him nearer. "Here, please take this." I offered the bottle. He looked at it and then eyed me again. "Sorry but I already have a water with me."

My face dropped, "Ah, o-okay…"

_Aren't he being his old self today? Being the cold Seijuro-kun again._

"Players are the only one allowed here Izumi, besides, don't you have class during this time?" he asked.

"I want to watch your match, that was why I came here." I responded.

"The match is over, you can go back now." He said.

"Y-yes." Why he's being like this again?

Another person came out from the room. When his eyes landed on us, he smiled. "Sei-chan, coach said you have to attend an interview." he said as he stepped outside the room.

"Okay. I'll be there." Seijuro-kun replied. With that remark, the tall man nodded at him "Then, I'll go ahead first, see you at school Sei-chan" he looked at me "as well as…" he paused.

Ah, he already forgot my name too. I bowed, introducing myself "It's Izu-"

"Yanagi, call her Yanagi, Reo." Seijuro-kun interjected.

"Okay, Yanagi-san." He smiled and turned his back to us and left us behind.

Seijuro-kun shifted his eyes to me, frowning "So you want Reo to call you by your first name?" he asked curtly.

_Reo_

"So his name is Reo-"

"Mibuchi, it's Mibuchi for you Izumi. Reo is his first name." he explained turning his back at the end of his statement.

I blinked in the sudden bitterness of his voice. "I understand."

"Go back now." He ordered and left.

**-X-**

I didn't go back to school; instead, I decided to go home and rest. I'm starting to feel the same feeling I felt before we went to America. He seemed far away again. I thought we were getting better. Why is he being the usual cold Seijuro-kun again?

I sighed putting my blankets all over my body. I'll sleep my worries for a while.

I'm sure I've been sleeping for hours when I suddenly woke up due to the ringing of my phone again, I picked it up and put on my ear without looking at the screen. "Hello"

"Where are you?"

I opened my eyes widely and sat up, "Seijuro-kun!"

It was like everything was repeated, him - unexpectedly calling. What now? Will he tell me again that he'll pick me up? "I'm at my hotel, why?"

"Why are you there?"

"Eh? Am not allowed to be here?" I asked.

"I told you to go back at school, not there." He said.

"Oh, that, sorry…I felt um tired, that was why-"

"Get ready. I'll meet you outside in a bit." He said.

"Ha? Pick me? Wait, do I have to prepare my luggage?" I asked, just in case he bring me again somewhere.

"No, just wear a decent clothes." He ordered and he hung up.

I stood up, jumped happily as if I won in a lottery. Are we going on a date?!

Grinning, I picked and wore a white dress, after that, I quickly went outside and waited patiently to him. When I saw him, I smiled. "Seijuro-kun"

He grabbed my hand and dragged me to walk. "Where are we going?"

"Festival"

"Where?"

"Stop asking. You'll see it in no time." He said, I smiled. "Okay."

**-X-**

I see, maybe he was cold a while ago because he was tired because of the match. I frowned, tired? He didn't play so why he would feel tired? I glanced at him. "Well, whatever, we're on a date so…I should just be happy." I mumbled.

The sun was starting to bid its goodbye, giving the sky an orange-like color.

After a while, we arrived on our destination. I remembered when I was young, we also went on a festival like this one. I saw some women wearing yukata. I wanted to wear one but I didn't have any, besides…Seijuro-kun didn't tell me that at first when he called that we will be going to a festival.

We passed on a lot of stalls selling different foods and some booth. He looked at me, "Focus on your way. It won't be my fault if you tripped or get lost." He said.

"Uh,mmm." I hummed not really doing what he said as I kept on trailing my eyes around.

On our way, my attention shifted back on him when he suddenly stopped as if he just saw someone. I looked at the direction where his face was directed just to see some of his teammates. "Akashi is here too! Woah…and together with fiancée-chan.~" It was Hayama-san, I sneered quietly 'fiancee-chan again?'

Seijuro-kun went to them and I followed. Did he bring me here just to meet these guys?

I stayed on my place as he went quite close to them. It wasn't my business to mingle on their conversation so I chose not to stick on Seijuro-kun's side as he talked to them. Hayama was there, as well as Mibuchi-san, a tanned and well-built man, there's also someone who had a dead-fish like eyes. I couldn't hear them. I quietly tapped my tip toes while waiting.

I glanced again. _What's taking him so long?_ I noticed Mibuchi-san glanced back at me. I nodded briefly as a sign of greeting, he did the same. After that, I saw Seijuro-kun looking at us before he spoke again to his teammates. "Okay, then I'll go ahead."

With that, he went back beside me. "Let's go."

"Did you bring me here just to accompany you to them?" I asked.

"No, I have my own business to discuss with you. I just happened to see them and thought I should tell them what happened during my interview." He explained.

"Okay…by the way, why you didn't play during the match?" I asked.

"It won't be fun to play in a match where victory is right on my hands." He stated in a confident manner.

"Uh…"

He stared at me for a while. "That's right …Izumi, I remember seeing you talked to Reo during our school festival."

"That one?" _I already forgot that._ "I just paid him my debt." I said.

He frowned, "Debt?"

"Yes, he was the one who gave me the cotton-candy, remember?"

"The one that made your face dirty? I see…"

My attention was again focused around and when I noticed him paused, I turned back seeing I already left him three steps behind. "Seijuro-kun? Why did you stop?

He arched his arm on his waist, "Do you like him for that?" he asked.

I knitted my brows, "Like? What do you mean?"

"Do I always have to repeat my questions in order for you understand it?" he asked.

"Eh?"

He sighed as he frowned. He stepped towards me. "Aren't you being too close to him?" he asked.

"Eh?" I could only reply with 'eh' since I don't really get what he was trying to point out.

Suddenly, someone bumped me from behind making my face to hit Seijuro-kun's chest. "Ah!"

I heard him clicked his tongue in dismay while holding my shoulders. I titled my head and saw him glaring at the person who bumped me. I blinked, and then I felt his hand slid down on my hand as he held it, bringing me all the way to a food stall near us. He ordered one from there and abruptly gave it to me.

I cocked my head while accepting it. "What-?"

"Are you dumb? Don't you know what popcorn looks like?" he said gruffly.

I scoffed, "I know that it's a popcorn. I'm referring to what's with this sudden treatment Seijuro-kun?" Suddenly dragging me here, suddenly buying a popcorn, suddenly giving it to me, suddenly getting mad again. What's with this? That was 'what' means, I thought frowning at him.

"Eat it." he ordered.

"Ha?" I grimaced.

"I said eat this popcorn." He repeated.

"I heard you, but why? Do you think I can finish this all?" It was like two glasses of popcorn, "…and also, I'm not really fond of popcorn."

He glared, "Oh…so you like cotton candy more than popcorn?"

I frowned again and again. "Huh? W-what are you talking about Seijuro-kun?" Isn't he being senseless about this? "…it was just a popcorn…"

"Mah, mah, don't argue about my popcorn and…what was it again? Cotton candy? Can't blame her, it's true that cotton candy is much more love by the customers…than my product." the vendor interjected scratching the back of his head. I cracked a smile at the vendor. "N-no, we're not arguing because of your product, it's just that um…" How should I put this? Seijuro-kun is acting weird.

He glanced at the vendor then back to me, still with a glare. "Will you eat this or not?" he asked acrimoniously.

I slightly opened my mouth, stuttering because of his tone. "W-why are y-you being mad-"

I paused when he suddenly grabbed back the popcorn on my grasp, throwing it away. I flinched. He held my hand again hardly, dragging me at the end of the festival where there were less of people around. I shoved my hand away, "Wait a minute Seijuro-kun! What's wrong with you?!" I cried exasperatedly gasping for breath.

One second changed, he turned to face me calming his wrinkled brows.

He stepped forward, cupping my face as he plastered a pain smile on his face. "This is…what I dislike the most about you Izumi." he muttered softly.

I blinked, bewildered. "E-eh?"

He dropped his hand as well as the smile. "Don't associate yourself with Reo anymore. If I see you with him…I'll gouge out your eyes." He stated threateningly with his eyes wide open.

Hearing that statement sent shivers to my skin. I gulped, "Y-You're kidding….right?"

He smiled a little again as he suddenly softened his eyes. "Just the thought of you and Reo talking maddens me."

It made me silent for a second, contemplating his every words. _Is he…Could it be that he is… _"Seijuro-kun…are you jealous?"

On spur of a moment, just when he was about to open his mouth, I heard a loud explosions from above illuminating us with neon colors. It meddled on his voice. I narrowed my eyes trying to focus on what he was saying. Too bad, the continuous banging of fireworks tampered his every word. Cursing the 'should-be-mesmerizing-colorful fireworks on my thought, I frowned while blinking.

The way his mouth moved, I'm sure it wasn't just a one word. He said something more. _Damn fireworks_. What was it?

I bit my lips while shaking my head in a slow motion. "I'm sorry…b-but can you please repeat your answer?" I shouted trying to level my voice with the noise. I asked him if he was jealous. The answer should only be a 'YES' or a 'NO. It would only make his mouth opened once, but it went for a lot of times.

He shifted on his back, "No." he replied curtly.

"You were saying something else! Please tell me!" I asked eagerly and badly desiring to know. It might be important.

It seemed like he waited until the blasting sound finished since he just gazed at the sky. And when it did, he finally spoke "The reason why I brought you here was to discuss-"

"No! Seijuro-kun, I'm asking for your answer. Don't change the topic!" I cut off while frowning at his back. I went on his front to face him. Clenching his shirt, "Tell me!" I demanded.

He removed my grip as he pushed me away. He then slipped out something from his pocket. It was a piece of paper that was folded in to two. "Knowing your simple-kind of thinking, I thought I should explain everything in a way you will understand." he continued on his own topic as if I didn't say something. "Listen Izumi, I do things that I want and think is right, my orders are absolute and that makes your and their opinions useless."

My mind was getting puzzled again. I should be insisting with his answer but what he was saying right now made me more bewildered and curious. I don't know what I want to hear anymore.

He walked past on my shoulder after he forcibly placed the paper on my palm. "Meet me on that place tomorrow." He said.

_Why he's always like this? Why he can't consider my request and my demand. How did I manage to fall for someone that as selfish as he?_

My mind lagged for a second.

_Why does he always tell me things that are too hard to grasp. _

Is my way of thinking really the one at fault or it was actually him who won't explain things in a proper way?

I really want to hate him right now.

"Wait…" I called, lowering my head. I let my eyes trailed on the ground. Our back was the one facing each other. I know that he stopped. "Can you do the 'listening' this time?" I asked but I wasn't expecting him to reply so I continued "…honestly, I'm forcing myself to hate you right now…you arrogant, selfish bastard." I continued callously and bluntly. "…insulting and mocking me….always doing whatever you want, you're truly an insolent person. You don't listen to me, you don't consider what I want and what I say. I can really claim that all synonyms of 'rude' fits you….and I hate you for that…." I ranted without hesitation.

"Hn." I heard him hummed impudently.

I clenched my fist. "Go on, ignore what I'm saying…It's you after all." My eyes were close as I spoke. Myself was having a battle with my emotions, I want to hate him but I love him…I guess that makes me the loser. I can't hate him.

"You're free to hate me. I don't care, I don't remember asking you to like me." he said.

I forced a smirk as I frowned. "I know but sorry because I just can't. In the end, I can't hate you." I inhaled a lot of air after that to calm the tightening in my chest. I raised my head this time, blinking repeatedly at the sky. It is really hard to stop your eyes from tearing when the water just appears as they want on the surface.

"That is the problem in you Izumi, all thoughts that running inside your head are about me." He quipped, "Well then, I'll see you tomorrow." He said. I turned my head on my side and I noticed him sauntering.

_Tomorrow, huh? He is talking in that manner again, like he is 100% sure that I'm coming. _

_And stupid me, because….of course…I'm coming. _


	15. ONSEN

I'm meeting him today, after class. It was unknown for me the reason why I should meet him. When I came at my hotel last night, I read what was written on the paper. It was a direction to a place that wasn't really familiar to me.

I didn't ask him why since I'm sure he won't answer me anyway.

**-X-**

I went to the place written on this paper in my hand.

Standing at the front, my eyes landed on the signboard attached at the gate. I gaped after reading the sign. It was a private Onsen (hot spring). I immediately peered inside expecting that although I read the word private, I hoped there were other guests as well. I gulped realizing there was no one and it was as quiet as _nothing_.

_W-wait….what is this?_

Suddenly, I remembered reading this establishment on one of the tickets, this was definitely the one that made me frowned back then. I was dazed at the moment until I felt a presence beside me. I turned and my jaw dropped seeing Seijuro-kun who just arrived.

I didn't greet him, staring at him skeptically.

Frowning, "Let's go inside." He uttered.

_Did he seriously intend us to be here, just the two of us? IN AN ONSEN? A PRIVATE ONE? I frowned on my thoughts. _

He paused, "Are you coming or not?"

I still didn't speak, frowning at him.

"I see, so you prefer if I drag you from there to inside." He threatened. I flinched, "N-NO!"

He smirked, "Good."

I followed him; he talked at the old female who was probably the caretaker. They discussed something that I didn't bother to hear as I studied the place.

_I know what people do in an Onsen. Naked bath, it's definitely that! What is he planning this time? _

My mind that was being puzzled by a lot of questions was interrupted when he called me again ordering me to follow him.

I glanced at the old woman, she just smiled to me. I bowed to her as a greeting and proceeded to walk.

We reached a room, a typical and traditional Japanese room.

Inside, there was a low and small table at the center and the floor was covered in tatami. He slid open the shoji revealing a small garden. He glanced at me before he decided to sit outside. His one arm wrapped on his bended knee.

My curiosity reached its limit as I finally decided to speak. "What is this Seijuro-kun, another selfish decisions of yours?" I asked placidly.

He smirked, "I might consider that right." was his simple answer.

"I don't like this, what are we going to do here?" I snapped. "I haven't forgotten what happened last night. Do you expect me to act friendly towards you right now?"

"You talk too much. Just do what I say." He said sighing at the end.

I scoffed, "You think I'll obey you? Wrong! Seijuro-kun, I said I don't like thi-"

"You'll follow me because I say so." He interrupted.

_Tch._

"Sorry but I'll say NO." I demanded bravely. Glaring at his back, I turned and was about to leave when he suddenly muttered "Please stay."

That made me pause, blinking once in disbelief for hearing a gentle voice coming from him.

I hesitated if I should still leave or not, gulping, I shook my head. I convinced myself that it was just a trick of him to make me do what he wants.

I pushed the door, lifting one step to exit. I then clenched my fist, sighing before closing it again. I ended up staying inside. Defeated over him, as always and all the time.

He was my weakness and I hate to realize that. His voice was always cold and harsh but still, I'll admit that it was my favorite sound. Hearing him in that gentle tone melted my determination to oppose him.

I hate him for being selfish but I don't have the courage to stand against him.

He chuckled softly.

Abruptly glaring at his back, I yelled "Okay! You're right, I can't leave you." I gritted my teeth at the end, embarrassed.

"Yeah…I know." He glanced at me and my eyes widened a little when I saw him with a smile.

I arched my brows. He then gestured his hand as if saying 'come here'.

"W-what? Don't move your hands like that! I'm not a dog!" I uttered slightly blushing as I slightly lowered my head at my side.

"If you're a dog, I would hate you then." He said shifting his body to face me, he was still sitting outside.

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Izumi.."

"Yes?"

"Come here." He said as he tapped the floor beside him two times.

I swallowed, and as the loyal Izumi to him, I went and sat beside him. Awkwardly fixing my eyes on my front, my hands kept on my lap. From the corner of my eyes, I had a sight where he revolved his body to face my side.

His bended his right knee again, placing his right arm as he rested his chin on it. "Izumi."

I blinked rapidly, my heart beating so fast. "A-aren't you b-being odd again?" I commented still feeling awkward with my current situation.

"Am I? Then…you don't like it?" he asked soflty. That damned voice again. Did he want me to collapse in embarrassment and happiness for that wonderful and pleasant kind of tone?

I turned my head on my side to face him just to see him expressing a small smile on his lips.

_It's decided! I'm going to collapse here if he continue being like this._

I laughed in a stiff manner. "You're being the Seijuro-kun I've been dreaming to be…" I muttered. That's it. "..So I guess, I'm currently dreaming right now." I concluded before pressing my lips in thin line as I looked away.

_I'm dreaming. I prefer this, can I stay asleep forever?_

I whipped when I felt a hard pinch on my cheek. "What a shame Izumi because…you're actually in reality." He corrected.

I laughed again. A force laugh. "W-woah! Dreaming is high-tech nowadays, I felt the pain when you did that Seijuro-kun."

"You're being stupid Izumi." He said frowning.

"Frowning Seijuro-kun! Yes, now I'm back, I guess." I exclaimed.

He sighed as he stood up. Opening the drawer, he picked a towel and let it hang on his shoulder. "I'm going to take a bath." He said.

I just watched him as he moved on the direction of the door, before he could exit, he briefly glanced with a smirk on his face. "Do you want to join me?"

My face changed immediately with the same color of his hair, averting my eyes on him. "N-NO!"

He left.

I slapped my face for a couple of times. _What the crap is this? Is this real? Is this true? _"Am I imagining things?" I mumbled. I'm not the kind of person who likes daydreaming. Most of the time, I tend to force my head with nothing but a blank thought. Yes, that WAS before I met this person. After I realized my feelings for him, that started, my thoughts were consumed with nothing but him. And now that I'm spending time with him, did I start imagining this?

But I already slapped my face for the umpteenth time, and I'm still here. O-Okay. This is reality.

-X-

Using my hands as the support, I angled my body as I stared at night sky. I didn't take a bath, hot spring wasn't really my thing, I rather use the bathroom and showered myself instead of soaking my body on that mild hot water. Also, I already took a bath before coming here.

When I heard the door opened, I quickly turned my head to welcome him. Instead of smile, my jaw dropped as I blushed seeing Seijuro-kun surprisingly and unexpectedly wearing nothing but just a towel wrapped on his lower body.

I gulped.

Half-naked Seijuro-kun….

Just a towel….

Isn't that making him almost naked…?

Standing on front of the large drawer, he suddenly glared at me. "Stop stripping me with those eyes." He said.

"E-Eh?" I said picking my jaw back. I turned on my back, embarrassed. I cleared my throat, exhaling an air through my nose in contempt. "Don't say such a thing Seijuro-kun." I disapproved even though he was somewhat right with that.

I heard him smirk, "…not honest again, huh."

"O-of course n-"

My words was cut when I felt him behind me. He placed his hand on my shoulder travelling it on my neck. I whipped as I stood up. "W-what are you doing?!" I asked nervously still blushing.

He made a crooked smile, "It's okay Izumi…you want it right?" he stood up too and crossed his arms "…I mean…you want _me_ right?"

My mouth wanted to smile but that would definitely make him think that he was right so I quickly placed my palm to cover my face. The other being stretched to push him "Of c-course not…s-stop it.." _Seriously, stop acting and talking like this as if you're seducing me. _

"Yeah, I was just kidding." He teased and went to wear a white t-shirt and navy blue shorts.

A knock suddenly was heard behind the door. He opened it and the old woman greeted us. She was holding a wide tray containing our dinner. She went inside and humbly arranged it on our table. Before she left, she bowed at us and we did the same. "Please enjoy your meal Akashi-san and Yanagi-san."

"Thank you." We replied in unison.

We sat on the tatami as we began eating our food.

When we finished, we decided to stroll around the place while our room was being cleaned by the personnel.

_Room?_

On whim, "Seijuro-kun, are we going to use one room?" I asked while walking on the hallway.

Without looking, he replied with a blunt "Yes".

My eyes winced, "Eh, what why?"

He opened a door as he went inside, I just followed while waiting for his explanation. He looked around before briefly eyeing me "Why should not?" he said.

"Why should we?" I retorted.

He clicked his tongue annoyingly, "Stop whining."

"I'm asking not whining." I cleared while frowning.

His hands on his hips while staring at a wide and tall drawer on our right. As if ignoring me, he remained silent as he crouched at the front of the said drawer.

I scratched the back of my head, giving up.

I got curious when I noticed him studying the contents of the drawer. I went to look as well just to saw some board games such as chess, snakes and ladders, scrabble, shogi and the others were unknown to me. He grabbed the (of course, as always, as usual, no mistaking it) Shogi board.

Even though we were on an Onsen, Shogi was still all over his mind. "hmmm." I hummed.

"Izumi…will you play with me?" he asked not removing his eyes on the board of Shogi.

I crossed my arms, "I don't know how."

"…." He moved it back, "Then, what about this one?" he asked pointing on the chess board.

I grimaced joining him from crouching. Shaking my head slowly, "I…don't think so.." I muttered.

"…I see, you don't know-"

"I know how, it's just that I'm sure I will only lost at the end." I cut off.

"You can't say that without trying."

I narrowed my eyes on the other board games while saying "mmm nope, you know everything right, I'm sure you can already predict my defeat." I deadpanned.

"That's true." He replied and then, he picked another one and another one, on and on as I continuously denied them all. Until he snapped in a coolly way, "I see, you're a no-good-kind of girl in terms of board games." He stated seriously.

"Is that some kind of an insult?" I asked arching my brows not removing our eyes inside the drawer. I agree for not having skills if it comes to board games

"Nah, it was another fact about you that I found out."

I agree for not having skills in board games but what mildly got into my nerves was that term.

"Then what's with that term, 'no-good'?" I asked, offended.

"Well, another fact…" he said still impassive.

_This isn't a normal conversation anymore._

He slightly inched the side of his mouth when he opened the box that was placed in the corner, still inside this drawer. I peeked at the box and saw tons of colorful sticks. "A Pick-up sticks?" I asked although I'm sure it was indeed a pick-up sticks. He rolled his eyes on me, by the looks of it, it was like silently asking me 'how about this?'

I shook my head again, "my concentration isn't that good too so maybe I'll say a no." I said.

He glared before sighing. "Well, I guess you're incapableness doesn't have a limit." He said sitting on the floor.

I frowned, still crouching with my arms wrapped on my knees. "I think you're being too much now."

He smirked as he twiddled the sticks on his fingers. "So, can you give me something that you're good at?"

Deepening my frown, "There's one and I'll bet all the stars in heaven that I can beat you in that." I boasted.

He arched his brow.

I coughed coolly, "Painti-"

"Except that." he retorted.

My mouth parted.

"I see, then I'll add that you're capable of painting but incapable with everything." Smug was expressed on his face when he said that.

I hissed and then tilting my head slightly as I stared at the ceiling, thinking. As if an imaginary light-bulb appeared on top of my head. "Ah! There's more." I said before grinning at him.

The words I'm about to say were merely joke, I began by touching the tip of my thumb "Number 1, I'm so good in keeping my anger in check whenever Seijuro-kun tells me his harsh words." Touching my forefinger, "Number 2, I'm oh-so-kind for not being drag with Seijuro-kun's rudeness." On my middle finger, "Number 3, the limit on how I can patiently tolerate Seijuro-kun's insult is infinite." Already at my ring finger, I continued "Number 4, I'm the best and most loyal when it comes to Seijuro-kun's order." Lastly, on my little finger, "Number 5, the last but not the least, I can stand against Seijuro-kun's threatening and intimidating aura."

At the end, I smirked paying the same smug expression on his face. "See, I'm so capable." It was intended to somehow make him realize his attitude to me.

"You forgot one Izumi." He commented.

I smiled, "Yes?"

"You're stupidity level is overflowing." He said bluntly.

I shut my eyes off, gritting my teeth inside my close mouth before crossing my arms as I sat on the floor like him. I won't lose on this conversation. "W-well…thank you for the reminder, I indeed forgot one…" I countered smiling again. "Number 6, I'm-"

"Number 7." He corrected. I felt a sudden stroke of embarrassment with that.

I coughed, "Yeah, n-number 8, I'm the most warm-hearted and understanding person when it comes to Seijuro-kun's personality that even though he's always glaring at me, I could still firmly and determinedly stay beside him." I chuckled jokingly. "Being kind is enjoyable, you know." I finished. It was all intended to make him realize that I will always stay with him even though he's so mean.

He smirked curtly, "Enjoyable? I see, you're just a masochist."

I faked a smile, veins comically popping intensely on my cheeks. "And that claims you of being a sadist."

"Hmm, is that suppose to be an insult…Izumi?" he uttered arrogantly as he slightly raised his head with a smirk at the end.

My eyes twitched, mimicking his smirk. "Hmm…not really. Why would I Insult you when I'm this KIND?" I said. Of course it was supposedly an insult. Why I can't win to him? Tss.

He smiled briefly as he stood up. Still holding the Pick-up sticks, "Give up Izumi. You can never win against me."

I grimaced, "You can't say that without trying."

"I don't know defeat." He stated in a confident manner. I frowned.

"Let's go back." He said.

Another idea occurred to me, I'll show him defeat. I'll make him stay here instead. "How about No? I don't want to go back, actually, let's stay here." I smirked on my thoughts. If he agree to that, it only means I manage to make him do what I want. I'll win this time.

"If that's what you want." he sighed.

**Win!**

I was about to say 'see, I won against you' when I suddenly saw him continuing his way to exit.

I flinched dropping the cool composure I have. "W-where are you going?" I shouted.

"Back on our room," he smirked again "since you prefer to be here, I thought I should just go on my own."

"You seriously planning to leave me here?" I asked.

"Are you expecting I'll stay here because you say so?"

_He got it right._

I smiled awkwardly at him.

He ignored it as he proceeded to leave. I hurriedly ran and followed him. On his back, "I guess there's no helping it." I said, defeated as always.

When we entered inside, our room was already clean and the futon was already prepared.

He went on the direction of the table, putting the multi-colored sticks on top. He scattered them first before ordering me to have a seat.

"Don't tell me we will play this even though I already said that I can't?"

"Yes."

"Why?" I asked frowning.

"To kill time." He replied while doing his first move.

I sighed, "It's already late. Why don't we just sleep the night away." I suggested as my eyes trailed to the direction our futon. There's only one futon? I blinked, ONLY ONE? My eyes widened for a second until I looked back at him. "That's right, let's kill time for a while." I said cracking a laugh at the end.

I managed to pick the stick using my fingers. Then, his turned came again and then me again. I was sighing again, "Seijuro-kun, don't you think this game is quite boring?" I commented.

He glanced before narrowing his eyes to concentrate on his turn. When he made it up, he straightened his body "So?"

I pressed my lips with my forefinger, "Hmm, how about we put some spice to make it interesting?" I suggested happily. "Like…as we do our move, we will tell something about what we thought to each other?" I said raising my forefinger with a broad smile on my face.

He frowned, "No."

That made me do a facepalm. "Instead…the loser must do what the winner said." he suggested. There was no way that I could disagree with that; I just nodded.

I lost my real motive; i was actually planning to use that as a chance to know what he thinks about me.

I watched him do his move, he really played this game very well. I'm sure, I'll be that hopeless loser. I sighed.

"Stop sighing and sighing, that will make the sticks move." He said.

"Hm." I hummed; my energy was starting to get empty with this game. But giving this moment another thought, I was actually happy and at the same time scared. Scared that he might be cold again after this moment. Like when we were in America, we were okay but when we got back here, he reverted to his old self.

On whim, "I've been wondering this since we came, why did you bring me here?" I asked.

"What do you think people do in an Onsen Izumi?"

"Don't answer me with another question." I said.

"Then don't ask foolish question."

"What's so foolish in that?" I sneered.

"What do you think Onsen is?" he glared.

"You mean, we came here just because you want to take a hot bath?" It was now my turn, but I won't do it until he tell me."When will you answer me nicely?"

"Until you understand on how to ask a proper question." he replied curtly.

"I don't understand what made my question not proper."

"Do your move." He said ignoring my statement.

"I will not do it until you tell me." I insisted.

"Comprehend your situation and stop being a stupid dense girl Izumi." He said coldly.

"Dense?"

He sighed, "Nothing. If you're not going to do your turn, I'll conclude my victory."

"Comprehend your situation and stop being a selfish ignorant cocky person!" I exclaimed.

He stared at me disapprovingly. I didn't falter, "What is your reason for bringing me here? And you used the tickets, why you didn't tell me that? You said you don't have much free time?" I bombarded him questions.

"I'm allowed to choose one since it was given to both of us, I'm afraid you're the one being selfish here." He explained.

"Is that you're reason?" I asked.

"There's one more reason." He said.

"Please tell me."

It took him few seconds before replying. I moistened my lips planning to repeat my last statement. "Please te-"

"Not now Izumi." He spoke followed by a small pained expression on his face. It made me silent for a bit. Why did he suddenly do that?

"Why?"

He smiled gently, "You'll understand it soon, for now….just forget about it and do your turn." He said. I don't know if it was an order or a request. His tone softened but it was still Seijuro-kun.

Our game ended and just what I expected, I was the loser.

"About your prize, tell me what do you want me to do." I asked half disappointed because even though I already know the outcome, there was a part of me hoping that I would win.

He stood up, "Save it for tomorrow." He said and I just simply gave a nod.

"We should rest now." He suggested turning the lights off as he casually laid on the futon. I blinked adjusting on the sudden darkness, "W-we're going to sleep together?"

"You're free to sleep there in your position if you don't want here."

I heard the flopping of blanket, nervously gulping.

"Why don't you be nice for once?" I retorted.

"Come here Izumi, let's sleep." He muttered.

I gaped. Eh? He really did call me nicely? Oh?

It's not that I don't like it. I just think that this is too embarrassing. But since I don't really have a choice, I decided to go along. My hands were shaking as I covered half of my body with the same blanket that was covering him. Heart beating so fast that I'm afraid that he might hear.

"Goodnight." He suddenly said.

"U-uh..g-goodnight too."

"Don't be nervous, I won't touch you." he said and turned on his side.

With that, as I stared at that back, I remembered what happened to us on my balcony. "Seijuro-kun…" I mumbled.

"What?"

"Do you still remember when you kissed me?" I was as if I forgot the meaning of 'embarrassment' because of how casual and straightforward I asked that.

"Yes Izumi." He replied, it made me smile. I hung my hand on the air as if reaching him.

I closed my fist and stared to it, "do you really…"

"mmm." He hummed.

I put my palm on my face, why do I suddenly want to cry again. I glanced at his back, without hesitation…I pushed myself to hug him from behind. I won't ask him why he did that, I'm afraid it might be for some insulting or nonsensical reason. I don't want to think of that kiss as something like that. I want to believe that he did that because he…he…what? Why did he do that?

I don't know. He's really a mystery.

I hardened my hug, burying my face on his back. I could smell his scent again, his original scent. It was calming me, making me forget the moments where he sarcastically talked to me. Just like a while ago, I was annoyed and yet I don't mind that now at all.

My weakness.

He is the only one who can make me feel happy, annoy, mad; all at the same time. He makes me mad too but ending up loving him more. Maybe he is right, my stupidity is overflowing. This mixed feelings is really stupid, but when I think about it; it´s all worth it, being stupid and all…because I have him. He may not feel the same, he may not be mine but at least I'm aware that I'm the only girl who can get as close as this to him.

"I was so happy that time that I memorized everything that happened…the happiest day of my life, happiest second, happiest minute, happiest night….and I wish that it would happen again," I said almost a whisper at his back. _I'll confess now_. "I'm in lo-"

It was interrupted when he forcibly removed my arms on him. "Stop this and just sleep Izumi." He said unemotionally. It immediately sent thousands-no, millions or probably trillions of pain directly at my chest, to my heart.

"Don't casually do whatever you want." he said gruffly sighing at the end. He turned on his side again.

I really hated to cry so I squeezed my eyes shut. I could tell the same to you, Seijuro-kun. Don't just casually interrupt me when I'm speaking through my heart. I was about to tell you what I feel for a long time. Really, what a good timer are you?


	16. SORRY

The next day, I woke up with the brightness of the sun from the wide opened Shoji. Rubbing my eyes, I then made some stretching. I glanced at my side and saw no sign of Seijuro-kun. Immediately, I searched for him around the room and stood up to peered outside. No one still.

_Did he leave without me?_

I was somewhat panicking as I hurried my way to open the door and ask the old woman. When I was about to twist the doorknob, it opened on its own revealing Seijuro-kun. "You're finally awake. I brought our breakfast." He said and smiled. That made me calm as I rubbed my forehead in gladness. "I'm glad." I'm glad I was wrong, he's still here.

"What are you murmuring over there, come and sit." he ordered. As all mighty as he and as the loyal me, I followed. We ate our meal together. When we finished, he threw a towel on my face.

I removed it, staring the white cottony cloth "What is this for?" I asked.

"Take a bath, you have the privilege to use the hot spring." He said.

I blinked, "Uh-yes."

I peeked inside, no one was here except me. I knew it, this was a private Onsen after all. I touched the water using the tip of my toes first just to feel how warm it was.

**TIMESKIP**

When I finished, I wrapped the towel all over my body and went back to our room. I crept inside, searching for a certain red head. I sighed at ease when I didn't saw him inside. I could change without worry.

I opened my bag to get my clothes, placing it on the table. I then began unlocking the towel and just when I was about to drop it on the floor, the door clicked open.

I gaped abruptly turning on my back, wrapping the towel back on my body. "P-please knock first!" I yelled, embarrassed. As if mocking me, he really did knock twice on the door even though it was already open and even though he was already inside. I hissed, "I'm serious here, c-cant you see I'm c-changing…" I said stuttering. This is the number one reason why I'm against on this Onsen.

"Oh…then go ahead and change." He said with a serious tone as if it was the most normal thing ever.

"Go out first." I said. "Read the situation Seijuro-kun." I muttered, still blushing like a tomato.

I heard him smirk, "Getting shy all of a sudden? I see but don't worry Izumi, your thin-like figure won't seduce me."

_Wow, did I hear that right? _I frowned and began putting the t-shirt on my body without removing the towel. I planned to remove it after I secure the shirt on. It was followed by wearing the shorts and after that I removed the towel. It was so fast, probably took me 8 seconds only. Then, I crumpled the towel and threw it on him. "Don't you have any delicacy Seijuro-kun? Every woman won't like to be insult using their figure!" I nagged pouting at the end.

He placed the towel inside the closet and raised a brow, "Of course I have, but like you said…'woman'. I believe I'm only seeing a mere girl." He jeered.

I stomped towards him, sneering on his face. "I can't just tolerate that kind of insult Seijuro-kun!"

"Oh? And I thought your tolerance is infinite? Or, did I just heard it wrong?" he smirked.

I tapped the neckline of his shirt. Forcing a smile on my face that was obviously wanted to frown, "Ah uh, right…yeah I remember it right. I'm the _kindest_ person ever _actually_." I mocked.

He smiled a little before patting my head that made me winced a little. "Okay." He said. My blush went back to my face. He is doing the sudden-change-of-mood again.

I stepped backwards and narrowed my eyes on him as if I'm studying him. "I feel like I want to tell you this, but Seijuro-kun…you actually act as if you're a bipolar." I said while touching my chin.

He glared. "That's ridiculous Izumi."

"Are you?" I asked and was quickly replied with a deep tone exclaiming a "No."

I nodded, "Hmmm if you say so…okay."

"If you have a lot of free time to ask stupid questions, why don't you just come with me." he said going on the direction outside. "Let's go." He added not waiting for my answer.

We went outside the inn but it was still inside the compound. I just realized then how big this place was seeing that there was also a basketball half court. By then, I knew the reason for coming here. "Heh, suddenly missing basketball?" I teased.

He ignored it as he went to pick the ball located in a small box near the bench. He smiled a little as he began dribbling it. He ran and jumped to do a lay-up, as expected of him, it was in.

I paced at the sides while watching him. When he paused for a while, I spoke, "Do I have to watch you until you get tired or…do I have another purpose here?" I asked.

He glared at me, suddenly he passed the ball on my direction. My eyes flinched when I noticed the sudden ball getting near, I just let my hands stretched with my palms open. "Oww!"

That actually hurt a little. I blinked, "Please don't just pass without informing me." If I didn't notice that, it would surely hit my face.

"Try to shoot." He ordered abruptly.

I grimaced, "Eh? I-I don't know how-"

"That's why I said 'try'." He said folding his arms.

I gulped, turned on my sides and made an angle on how shooting a 3point look like. I put enough pressure when I threw the ball aiming at the ring. The ball flew in the air before it dropped on the ground without touching the ring or even the net.

"Ball not touching the ring is the worst kind of missed shot." He commented.

"Uh…?"

He then picked the ball on the ground, shooting it easily. "That's how you should do it Izumi." He said as he pulled the collar of his shirt to wipe the sweat drop on his cheek.

"It's useless even though you show me how. I can't play basketball." I demanded.

_More like, I've never play basketball before. _

"If I say…in every shot you made…I'll answer one question." he suddenly said and my face suddenly lightened up. "What?"

He arched a brow as he smirk. I blinked twice stepping towards his front. "Whatever the question is?" I cleared.

He nodded. My eyes were as if shining like a stars, I grinned. "Okay! Okay! Let's play!" I agreed happily.

And then a thought interrupted me. This is going to be the first time I'll play this sport, can I really shoot one? I sighed in dismay to myself. I probably have hundreds of questions I want to ask, metaphorically speaking. But this, the me right now is way too impossible to do that.

Inhaling and exhaling a long air, I clenched my fist in the air. No, No, there's no harm in trying, I cheered on my thoughts.

I dribbled the ball twice as I focused my eyes on the ring. Raising my hand, I frowned. "Wait a minute Seijuro-kun…" I retorted, he glanced. "does it also implies to you? Will you ask me questions too if you made a score?"

"I don't have anything to ask so I'll say No."

"Oh..." and then I made my first shot. Missed. Another. Missed again, and again, and again… I felt the sweat starting to build up on my skin but I still can't manage to make a score. Seijuro-kun on the other hand, was just standing coolly at the side with his one hand on his hip.

Few minutes later, "That's your 20th missed shot Izumi." He reminded. I wiped the sweats on my forehead, "I know, wait…just wait, I'll score this." I stayed positive though.

He went on the direction of the bench as if he already got tired of watching, I saw him sit while I continued doing my shots and hoping that it will go in.

Until, finally God gave me his pity and I did my first score. I jumped in victory with broad smile. Gasping, "Seijuro-kun! It was in." I called.

"1 In out of 87 shots, that's the worst record I've ever encounter." He said.

I sneered quietly brushing his harsh comment away. It's question time! So what should I ask?

I tapped my forehead repeatedly while thinking hard. Let's start from the beginning, I badly want to know his personal life as well as what happened to his mother. But, I also want to know if he has some worry in life and a dream too, of course. What it should be? That's right, about the festival, his answer when I asked if he was jealous….wait, he also said something that time, what was it? Should I ask that instead? I shook my head again. What about the other reason why he bring me here? My brows starting to wrinkled as well as my face. I think I want to ask what he feels and thinks about me, I think I should go with that? Then a thought came across inside, What about the thing that he will ask me to do when he won last night during our pick-up stick game.

"You're taking too long…what's your question." he glared.

I sighed, regretting the chance. I should have score more, damn.

I crossed my arms. He was starting to do some shooting again. "What about um…."

"What?"

This is a once in a lifetime chance. I'm going to use this wisely. No need to wait or hope because I know he will answer it right away. I've decided, I'll ask him that. "What is running inside your mind all the time?" His answer here might give me some clue to all my questions.

He glanced briefly and then he moved closer to the net. He was staring at the ball on his palm, it took him few seconds to speak. "How I'll carry out my decision." He answered calmly.

I cocked my head, "Decision? To what?" I asked.

"That would be a second question, you only score one Izumi." He retorted.

I huffed, "Then, if I score again, will you answer?"

"That's what I said before. I'll allow you to ask anything in every score you made."

He is so hard to deal. My eyes trailed on the wooden bench on the side. An idea popped. With that, I went on the direction of it, with all my might and strength, I pulled the wooden bench dragging it on the surface below the net. I gasped, "You didn't state any rules right…" I hopped on the top of the bench, snatching the ball on his hands. The net became quite near to my reach. I raised my arms as I casually put the ball inside the ring, then waited it below the net with my palms, "That's a score, now tell me Seijuro-kun…"

He frowned, "You're cheating Izumi."

"We're not playing this formally, it's okay." I countered. "Tell me, what is this decision?"

He sighed, "If you already forgot about this, I'll remind it to you once again…when we had our small conversation back at your country; I said that our situation was like a shogi…"

**FLASHBACK**

_I paused ranting when he suddenly sat up and then he went on the direction of the window. Crossing his arms as he looked outside, "Have you ever play shogi?" he asked. _

"_What an irrelevant answer…" I muttered._

_I heard a smirk coming from him, "As a rule, before you could defeat an opponent, you have to analyze everything first. Conceptualizing will come next…follow by the last which is doing what you believe is the correct move. Shogi, Basketball they are the same. And, I dare say the same goes to our situation."_

"_I see. Another example of your quizzical statement..." I said bending my knees as I leaned again in the headboard of the bed. "Then, would it be safe to assume that what you mean when you said you don't hate it is because you're still analyzing everything?" I finished gritting my teeth at the end. Realizing that didn't feel good, all this time… he's still on the process of examining me when on the other hand, I already fell in love. _

_With my last question, he didn't respond. I rolled my eyes on him, "Can I give my opinion?" I asked, not waiting for his reply, I continued "…I think Shogi and this are different, this is reality while Shogi is a just a board game." _

"_No. They are the same. I can never be wrong Izumi." He stated._

_It was like he's speaking metaphorically to me. I got it; he doesn't care about me, about our marriage, about everything._

"…_but Akashi-kun, no matter what you decide, there's no way we can get out of this situation anymore." I said._

"_Didn't I tell you before? We're not the same. You do things because they are all told to you, conversely…I do mine on my own. If I want to, I can say No to all of this." _

_Tears were building up on my eyes when I heard that. I hugged my knees, sinking my face on it. I faked a sound of chuckle to him. "I see..."He really didn't like this. _

"_You too Izumi…I think it's about time for you to examine what you really want." He suggested. His tone not changed, still impassive and unemotional as always. _

**END OF FLASHBACK**

He's right, I already forgot about that talk. What does he mean by that? _Decision?_

I put the ball inside the net. "Are you saying that you have decided whether you'll say Yes or No to this marriage?" I asked feeling the sudden coldness and restlessness on my body. I suddenly felt scared and nervous.

"Yes." He replied.

I gulped, my chest was tightening again as I made another action of casually planting the ball inside the ring. I want to know what he have decided, but…I'm scared. What if it's a No? Does it mean, we will now stop this? Everything?

On the contrary, we already finished the engagement, the papers and everything. Our fathers relationship is on the line too. So can I assume that it might be a Yes?

I don't want to know the answer yet but I'm curious. I lowered my head, "Do you think it's the right time for me to know your decision?" I asked.

"No…not yet Izumi." He replied.

When I was about to make another move, he spoke "We're done here, let's go back."

I let loose my grasp of the ball, landing it on the floor. I cracked a smile, "Y-you're right." I wanted to ask "when" but maybe I'll forget it for now. I'm selfish to admit that I don't want to end everything yet. Not when I'm this close to him. To be honest, 80% of me believed that it would be a No, remaining 20% was hoping that it might be a Yes.

And I Know, it's not bad to hope.

-X-

After our dinner, I waited if he would ask me to another kind of game, he didn't. He just went outside the balcony and remained seated. I was inside and just watching him as the moonlight bathed his face, his front body. This is our last night here, tomorrow we will go back again to our own places.

_Decision….he already made his decision._

"Izumi…" he suddenly spoke.

I whipped, getting my mind back. "Y-Yes?"

"Nothing…It's just too quiet and I thought you were already sleeping." He said.

I smiled leaning my back at the wall, we were few meters away with each other. "Do you want me to blabber about something?"

"No."

"Okay."

I never removed my eyes on him, "Seijuro-kun…do you think you're decision would make me happy or not?" I asked on whim.

"I refuse to answer that."

I chuckled softly, "Alright."

"Can you sit here instead?" he asked. I smiled weakly, "I'm actually just waiting for you to tell me." I said. "I'm coming." I added and went to sit beside him, half meter away.

We didn't speak after that for almost half hour or more. The evening deepened and I thought this could be my regret if I let this moment slip away just like this. Maybe start a topic or something.

"If my mathematics is right, I probably saw you smiled 9 times already since we arrived at this place." I began with the most awkward -topic. He smiled on that too, "and?" he asked.

"And?...and I'm wondering why you're doing that." I continued.

"I don't see what's wrong with smiling."

I looked at him, "That's the wrong thing here…you don't usually smile a lot Seijuro-kun and if you did, I feel like there's a reason." I said. "Like…in America, you were like this too, being friendly and nice to me but when we got back…" I looked away, "…you turned back to your old self."

"Is that so…" he asked.

"Yes."

"You're thinking too much of me Izumi."

"I don't see what's wrong with that." I copied his answer.

He glanced at me, "Have you ever thought of anything besides me?" he asked frowning. Directly, I replied him with "No."

"Stop that." he said.

"No. I want it this way and it's not like I can do that even you if ask."

"I'm not asking, I'm ordering you to stop it." He said gruffly.

I knitted my brows, "No means No."

"I see, you dare to defy me now." He said looking away and dropping his fierce eyes. "You really improved now."

"What again?" I asked.

"Have you realized it Izumi? You're standing on your own beliefs now."

"I'm sorry but I don't get it?" I said.

"Well…your narrow-mindedness, I can't do anything about that, I guess." He said.

"Insult again, huh?" I frowned.

"Nah sorry…but, you'll understand everything soon." He assured but I don't really know what he meant by that.

"I'm waiting for the day where you'll talk in another way, not using your quizzical statement and thoughts. You know, something that simple and easy to understand." I stated. Seriously, I'm waiting for that. "…and of course, without that insulting and mocking habit too..." I added.

"You're lucky tonight because I feel like giving that day right now." He said smirking at the end.

Eh? I looked at him skeptically, "Oh,really?"

"I've always seen you as an annoying girl but…I won't say that I hate you, do you understand that correctly Izumi?" he said.

I blinked as my jaw dropped, was it a new technique? A counterattack after insulting you? I frowned, "Are you going to say 'don't jump to conclusions' again, like what you did when you said that you didn't hate the fact that you'll marry a girl like me." I asked. "Because, I would say that If you don't hate me means…." I stopped and just smiled at him faintly. "…n-nevermind."

He smiled lightly, and as if on cue he suddenly asked an irrelevant question. "How much do you like painting?"

I pulled my head back, "Huh? Where did that came from?" I asked, puzzled.

"Just answer it…might as well tell me when did you start doing it." he demanded.

Rubbing my hair, why do I suddenly feel happy when his asking things about me? "Um…I like it ah no, more like…I love it. The truth is, that's the only thing I think I'm good at. About when did I start, well…when I was in kinder, my teacher told us to draw something that we love. I don't have anything that I love that time, so just to satisfy her, I decided to sketch the image of my classmate who was on my front as she drew her own work." I laughed, "Then when I saw the aftermath, I was like 'eh I made this' because not that I'm being boastful or what….i actually believed that it was the best among my classmates' drawing. Then I quickly gave it to my teacher and she smiled brightly to me as she praised me and my work…" I inhaled and exhaled briefly. "That was how I started drawing, then eventually became painting." I chuckled at the end.

"Why don't you go to an Art School?" he asked.

I hugged my knees, "Dad said that it wasn't necessary and…" I paused.

"And?"

"…well, and that it was useless because I'm going here to marry-"

"But you want it?"

_Why is he suddenly getting interested on this?_ "I used to want it." I sighed, "Didn't I tell you before? I prefer to be here now because of you." _Wait a minute._ I frowned, "Ey, Seijuro-kun…why are we talking about this?" I asked.

He chuckled softly, "Nothing." He stared at the sky again. "So you're lacking the freedom." He assumed.

I smirked, "Aren't we just the same? Look at our situation right now. We will get mar-"

"No, we're not the same." He interrupted. "Like I said before, I will do what I want."

"So…why did you said that the decision isn't yours when we first met?" I asked lowering my tone. I hoped he will answer it this time.

"That's true, but sometimes you also have to think twice." He explained but it was too deep again.

"I thought you said it's my lucky day? Can you elaborate it clearly?" I retorted.

"Oh, aren't you glad that I'm talking as casual as this to you?" he asked with a smug look on his face. He then changed it back to his normal expression "…Let's say, I think twice..." he repeated, "…and analyze everything." He paused, "Now, I made a decision and that is according to what I think is right." he finished. _I still don't get it._ He looked at me, "That ends your lucky day." he said.

"It only confused me even more." I muttered.

He laughed softly. "About our game last night…since I'm the winner, you have to do what I'm going to say."

_The pick-up sticks?_ Oh right, that one…what could it be? I raised my brow, "Don't make me do something funny, I don't want to be a laughing-stock on your front." I sneered.

He smiled a little, "Listen, from now on…I want you to stop doing whatever your father tells you, instead, focus on what you really want from the start and….." he leaned his hand between us and stared at me "…be honest with what you feel all the time." He finished. I stared back at him with bewilderedness. He softened his eyes that were fixated on mine. I forced out an awkward laugh, "hmmm, w-well…okay?" I said.

"Thank you." he mumbled. His next moves shocked me. He held my shoulder pulling me close to him. He lowered his head as he leaned his forehead on my shoulder. I could smell his hair from here. Stuttering, "W-what's…wrong..S-seijuro-kun?" I asked. I put my hands on his upper arms, "..ahmm…"

"Close your eyes." He suddenly whispered.

"E-eh?"

"Do it Izumi." He insisted.

I dropped my hands and did what he said. I shut my eyes off and waited what will happen. What he is going to do. I was frowning and then I sensed his hand cupping my cheeks. His breath, I could feel it on my mouth but we were not kissing. Until, it moved to the sides, on my left ear. I felt it again, his warm breath but it wasn't just because of simple breathing. It was like he was saying something. A whisper? No, because I can't hear anything. It lasted for a couple of seconds until I heard his voice. "I appreciated it very much Izumi…thank you and…..I'm sorry." He whispered.

My eyes abruptly opened with that remark. On my front was his face, his eyes closed with pained expression. My mouth parted wanting to ask what's wrong, why, what does he mean by that…until he touched my eyes forcing it to close once again. With that, I felt his lips attached on mine.

I don't know what it was for, I don't know aside from the fact that he was kissing me. A single tear fell on the corner of my left eye as my heart skips a beat. He kissed me again.

When he parted, he as well removed the hand that was on my eyes. I opened it slowly and saw him standing at his back on my front.

"Well then, goodnight Izumi." He said and went to the direction of our futon.

I swallowed, "What was that for?" I muttered.

"Just sleep…" he said.


	17. END OF US

The next day came. We were scheduled to leave today. Since I woke up, I repeatedly asked him what was that for and what it means. I got a glared and a blunt No in return. I thought I should just let it for a while, I don't know…I feel like I'm already used to this attitude of him. One moment he's kind, then the next he would be as cold as always. I let him and remained quiet until we left the Inn. As we walked outside, he was walking two steps away from me without glancing.

We stopped in the waiting shed as he finally spoke but it was just to inform me that there would be two drivers coming. When I asked why 'two', he replied that we will leave separately.

I'm starting to feel odd in this. Why shouldn't we just get back together, I want to ask him that but the face he was wearing right now could already tell that I will just be ignored.

We were waiting for almost 15 minutes already with the silence engulfing between us. We were protected by this small waiting shed from the sunlight. On our front was the high way but there were only minimum of cars passing by. I saw him glanced on his watch. After that, he put his hands back on his pockets. His bag was on the floor and I was holding mine.

All of a sudden, he broke the silence. "When I get back, I'll talk to our father to say that I'm going to cut this whole marriage thing."

Hearing that immediately sent coldness to my body as I quickly tilted my head to eye him. "What?" I asked.

"I said I'm going to end this ridiculous situation of us." He replied coldly.

I breathed briefly while digesting his words in my head. I swallowed, cracking a small laugh. I wonder why I felt coldness and at the same I'm sweating. I wiped my forehead gently. "Wow...is this a…um, new way…of i-insulting me, or..perhaps…a k-kind of…joke?" I said stuttering.

"No." he turned to face me, "Get this clearly on your mind Izumi. I'm not going to marry you." He finished.

As if there was a knot on my chest, it was getting hard to breath. Damn, why am I feeling this. I swallowed harder this time, my throat was somewhat aching. I opened my mouth, my hands starting to shake. "You-" Ugh! I can't utter a word. I exhaled a big air again. "Why are you suddenly saying-" I paused, my vision of him was getting blurry. I bit my lips as I dropped the bag on my hands, quickly rubbing my eyes. My face was definitely crumpled right now, I asked him again. "Why are you suddenly saying that to me?"

He sighed as if he was bored of this, "My decision, this is it Izumi. And when I say 'I don't want this anymore, then I won't." He stated plainly. I huffed tilting my head as much as I can. "Why now?" I can't stop this anymore - the tears- they were pleading to fall and it was adding to the hardness to speak.

"Get that back..." I fought to steady my voice. Reaching him, I held his arms "…I'm annoying, is that it? It's okay…I'll stop…just don't cut the marria-"I flinched when he shoved me gruffly. "Stop this Izumi." He ordered, frowning.

"No!" I forced a hug on him, "No…Please no..." I said burying my face on the side of his neck. I could felt that he was pushing me away but I fought the pressure, I don't want to let go. "I'm begging you, don't do this…"

He clicked his tongue in dismay. "They are here." He uttered and grasped my arms as he removed it from him. With that, he went ahead inside the car without looking back.

"Yanagi-san, please get on the car." The driver said as he opened the door. The driver lowered his head when I looked at him, offering a piece of handkerchief on my front. My hand was still shaking when I accepted it. I went inside and we headed back, back to my hotel.


	18. UNNECESSARY

**I'm back...ok let me explain... sorry that it took me a month to post a new chap...sorryyyy it was that I decided to re write this and make it a little bit longer..(.6 chapters or 5 chapters..not yet sure..)..that was the reason why this chap was so late, and oh school came on the scene too...hehe..**

**AKASHI'S POV IS ON THIS CHAPTER. OMG I don't know what to say except that he is going to be a one hell of OOC here... I asked my friend to read this fic and guess what she said..."it lacks the KNB feels" hahaha yea I know right, sorry but i just really want to see a different akashi,...**

**and also, guys, i seriously don't know how to get a beta-reader...help... :3**

**first sentences will be on third-person's POV then it will shift to AKashi-samaaa...ENjoy pls...**

* * *

Almost 9 months ago since they met.

Somewhere on a family restaurant at Kyoto, an abrupt meeting was held. Both of them went along knowing that it was just a simple matter, a simple business transaction and not a marriage. Not the kind of marriage that other people get excited to talk about.

For them, they will only undergo on a process to deepen the relationships of their companies.

* * *

First meeting

_Does she love him?_

_Does he love her?_

Both would definitely answer a big No if they were ask this during that time.

On her side, she was a little bit interested since she believed it was her job to get to know him, while he - Akashi Seijuro didn't care at all. He greeted her, he met her at the place and for him that was all there was to it.

Nothing more, nothing less.

He didn't have to get along or be friendly to her.

* * *

Second meeting

_Does she love him?_

_Does he love her?_

Yanagi Izumi, for her, being told by 'if you oppose me, i'll kill you no matter who you are' by him felt scared. He was scary and intimidating. She didn't like it. Why would she love someone like that? She was about to back out but then again, she couldn't. No way, it was her job, a job given by her father. No choice but to proceed and try harder.

He saw everything right through her. They both had the same thoughts about their marriage. A useless marriage made for the benefits of business. Yet, she acted on his front as if she cared and adding the fact that she referred him as 'conceited'. That surely got on his nerves. He was absolute. No one should dare to spoke such word to him, on his front.

* * *

Third meeting

_Does she love him?_

_Does he love her?_

She didn't.

He didn't.

* * *

Fourth meeting

Something caught her curiosity. For her, this was where everything started.

Simple curiosity that became concern that gradually turned into something she never expected.

On the other hand, still, to Akashi Seijuro, she was just 'someone' - An annoying someone.

Define annoying: someone who suddenly barged inside your room to say ridiculous things such as wanting to see your other side and asking you not to push her away. That was indeed an act of annoyance.

* * *

And then, it went on and on until the day of their engagement.

_Does she love him?_

It was then when she became sure of what she really felt for him.

And yes, she loves him.

_Does he love her?_

**Akashi's POV**

She was different from me. We were different.

I knew it from the first time I met her. Her mind seemed unoccupied that all i could felt from her was her plan to develop a relationship with me. However, I'm not stupid to not see that. She didn't exactly want it to herself. She had this kind of feeling as if she was just forced to do this.

This girl is pathetic, letting herself be manipulated like that. That was my first impression to her.

Going back, if i answered my father's question about what i can say about her during our second meeting, then, 'She is pathetic' would be my answer.

* * *

_"You are…lonely, Akashi-kun…" she said._

Just hearing that made me want to scoff.

I'm lonely?

I've never given that a thought, not once, never. I don't think i'm suffering on that kind of emotion. Why would I when i can get everything i want? When everything i have is product of victory. Never once in my life that i lost. So, why would i feel lonely?

* * *

When our dance was about to end, she told me this "I will wait for the day where you'll be the one to tell me the things I want to know about you, so until then…I'm going to stay beside you." i didn't know where it came from and i thought it was to make the dance more convincing to the audience.

But something made me realize that it wasn't. Right away, she earned a little of my attention and that was probably the reason why i smiled, those words were warm and somewhat ( i won't deny it ) good to hear. And then, I noticed her eyes, beneath it was a hidden message and I knew what it was that time. _Easy to read_. The way she looked at me when our eyes were locking at each other. Didn't i tell her to play along? She was doing this personally. So, when the song ended, i knew i had to released her because she was...obviously falling.

At the end, her face that was bright before turned back to her usual pretentious facade.

That was clear for me, she had fallen and i didn't. I ignored her and acted that i didn't feel it until she left.

_It was the right thing to do Izumi. You can't seriously fall for me because i won't ever feel the same for you._

Regardless, she went on and on since then. She would always appear from nowhere beside me. I tend to just let her be believing that sooner or later, she would get tired and leave on her own. But she didn't and as time went by, i found myself getting used to her presence. Although, a lot of times, she was only being annoying at all. I became accustomed to it.

Spending time with her showed me that she wasn't actually that bad, instead, i found something about her. She cared too much to things that she shouldn't that she ended up neglecting herself. She was too focused or obsessed about her parents that she never thought of her own opinions.

In the end, I thought that she was being hopeless.

Maybe i'm pitying her or maybe i'm not.

Concern? probably something like that. Just a little.

After all, She's the girl who doesn't believe in herself all much; the sort of woman who lives for others.

And that makes us different.

* * *

"Please let me explain…" She interrupted "…it wasn't just a simple guess, actually…" here she goes again, her 'i'm lonely' theory "…I'm always looking at you at school, and you're always alone. I thought you have some problems or worries, I didn't really care that much though. It was just a simple curiosity back then…."

"…" i didn't speak and just decided to hear her. My reactions would be depending on her choice of words.

"…until that time on your room, I saw another side of you and I'll be honest if I say that I love how you played your ball that time. You were like a kid," She said with a very little laugh at the end. "..and no, I'm not making fun of you…let's say it was the first time I didn't saw that intimidating face you always wear. And that was it, I began caring and wondering the reason behind that until that night, you know, the one when I saw that picture of you and your mother. That concluded and somehow explained everything to me. I thought you were longing for her…" I still didn't speak waiting her to finish. I noticed, just now, her voice was actually soft and soothing to hear.

"…If you want some advice although I'm sure you don't...the annoying nosy girl you hated is going to say this…you don't have to be lonely anymore…I'm sure she's fine wherever she is right now and that you should smile more…Akashi-kun." And with that, i could tell that was the end. She became quiet and i can imagine how embarrassed she was and that her face was probably red. I smiled with the image appearing inside my head. I smirked and thought of teasing her on why she didn't join the drama club. I loved how her voice suddenly sounded crack hinting that i was actually right, with her being embarrassed at that moment. I did it to lift up the mood. Maybe, i was longing for her but i already got over with it. She was right; My mother is fine wherever she is. A smile was plastered on my face as I leaned my back at the side of window in this guest room while talking to her on the phone.

* * *

Her treasure, she said? I looked around her room. There was a small bed at the corner and other than that were all canvases, painting materials, brushes and the wall was sprinkled with different colors as well as the floor. It was absolutely messy and look like an art studio of an old artist more than a bedroom of a 16 year old girl. The air inside was a bit off too, with those open bottles of paint, i won't wonder the reason why or where did that smell came from. I went on the direction of her balcony to inhale some fresh air.

'So i was right. It was about her.' i thought as i stood outside the balcony of her. The girl on her painting was her. A kind of word play or something? If translated literally, it means: she was being tied by her parents that she can't even follow her own dream. I could relate to that, being pressured by parents, telling us what we should be and what we should do. I wanted her to realized that if she don't try to stand on her own, she could never achieve what she really want.

"You're free to do what you want." I told her.

"I can't, I already have my responsibility to you, to this. This might be my dream since I was young but I don't mind not reaching them anymore…I just feel like I'm contented being with you." she said.

Denying what she wanted for so long just because of her responsibility on me? I hated the way she denied and just threw her dream just like that.

I don't know if she was _being_ stupid or just _really_ stupid. Can't she really learn how to consider her own self for once a in a while?

When i looked back at her, she had a pale face. "What's wrong with you?" I asked her and she just replied with nothing. When i was about to leave, he suddenly asked if she could get a kiss. That surprised me, i didn't expect she could ask that personally.

A kiss?

I liked how she honestly asked for it that i couldn't stop my body to moved and turned back. And so, i was kissing her. I kissed her. I didn't quite understand as to why i did that. It was like, i wanted it and at the same I did not. When we parted, she was again staring at me the way she did when we danced. Her eyes was saying it all again. She was falling but this time, it was more, falling even more.

Why does it every time she look at me her eyes expresses that everything inside her mind is about me. It's as if she is dependent to me, like telling me how much she needs me and that he truly loves me.

I shouldn't have kissed her because it only made her hope.

During our first months, i had decided that i would play along, but when i found out this - her dream, part of me wanted to end it right away, right now. For the reason as to why, i had no explanation. I just felt that it was for the better; better for her. This marriage was a hindrance to her.

That night, before I left, I told her "i'll make your dream come true". It was said as a fellow person who was once controlled by his parent but now learned to act on his own. I'll help her.

* * *

I was thinking it over and over - my decision.

Why am i being bothered with this? I wondered.

Time went by, I was supposed to just help her but it felt like I shouldn't just help, I should also consider the situation. Why should I even do that? When did I start bothering about us? I analyzed everything again. It would be hard to end the marriage if she felt that way and I didn't. I need to tell her as soon as possible. That was what I concluded.

I was planning to tell her that on the festival, but that night, when i found out that she was associating herself to Reo, I got mad. Maybe she was right, i'm jealous. I can't understand why too.

I told her "I...maybe, don't want anyone else having your attention and that i don't want anyone except me to fill your mind." When I finished, I wanted to get it back because it would only give her hope - hope to stay longer. Knowing her, i knew she would believe that i feel the same if she hear that, and that was the reason i'm glad that she didn't hear it because of the noise of fireworks.

I won't repeat it, she can't know it.

She was also mad that time because I refused on repeating what I said. Inside me, i was telling her to stop asking, that she can't hear it. The chance slipped away again. I couldn't bring to tell her that I'm going to end our marriage not when she was like this. When she was insisting too much to hear those messages. So i decided to let it be for a while and gave her the paper instead with the address of the Onsen. And then I told her to see me on that place tomorrow. I'm glad that I made a backup plan in case this festival doesn't turn good (as expected, it didn't ).

I was about to leave when suddenly, she said how much she wanted to hate me. My back was facing her's that made her unaware that those words made my eyes twitched a little. When I heard that, part of me was relieved and the other part didn't exactly like it. If she came to the part of hating me, the plan will be a lot easier because there will be no feeling to be consider. And yet, she continued with 'i can't'. She can't hate me after all and I'll be honest to admit that i was glad that she didn't hate me.

I was knitting my brows without her knowing. As our back faced each other that time, i was re-thinking everything including my own feelings. Why was I glad that it turned this way? It felt like as if things were getting complicated and that I'm getting complicated towards her. I felt and noticed it. It was like, myself was the one who doesn't want to say it. That i wanted us to stay like this but if she stay too long, she will only fall deeper. She was trying her best on me and i felt it. I'm aware of her feelings.

I knew the answer to all these questions inside my head. I just brushed them away because it just can't be. I don't think so.

* * *

**Onsen**

This time, I'll tell her.

She was still mad but i'm glad that she came.

There's a lot of important things than the struggle of love. I wanted her to realize that. As much as possible, i planned to tell her directly, word by word.

_Izumi, stop making me as your priority. You have a dream and you should just focus on it. Don't bother with the marriage because there's no marriage anymore._

Calmly, I called her and told her to sit beside me. She did after a short hesitation. I loved it, I loved how she listened and stopped when I told her to stay. I knew, she was being confused with my attitude; my past attitudes, but this was for her.

She sat beside me and i turned my body to stare at her. Her nervousness was visible on her face that she might not noticed that I wasn't moving my eyes away. I just realized, her pair of orbs, they have been looking and watching me for a long, long time. I also noticed - just now, how black they were and that they really match her long black hair.

She was just inches away from me and another question ceased on me while looking at her: _What will happen after i tell that?_

She was annoying, i said that and i'll still say that, repeatedly. Wherever i looked, she was there. She was thinking too much of me. That was the reasons i found annoying to her. And at this moment as I stared still, i replayed every annoying traits of her and i realized how it became a daily part of my life. It was just for a short time but i felt like they were now part of me. So the question then became: what will i do after telling her?

Will she Leave me? Then, so what? Am i scared to lose her?

I argued to myself and thought that it couldn't be.

I decided then to let things for a while. Let her stay for a while. We will be like this for a while. Tomorrow, i'll tell her. It can wait.

* * *

I'm the one hindering her dream. If i stay out of her life, she would be able to move on her own.

As the time comes close, it seemed like it was getting harder and i'm feeling heavier.

Then, I heard it again, her story about how much she love painting. It was really just the right thing to do. I listened to every details of her story. I never felt closer as much as this to her until now.

_I'll tell her._

I stared at her. She was looking too. Those kind of expression again that was telling me how certainly in love she was. Subsequently, I then asked about me, I knew she was in love with me so what about me? I knew that I wasn't; that was what i believed in. Asking myself whether i love her or not was not necessary. My feelings for her didn't matter - if there's any, aside from concern.

It just happened, i found myself caring for her while she was busy trying her best to stay with me even though i wasn't treating her that good. It was just that i didn't want her to fall more and more. It would only break and hurt her. But it seemed like i failed to do so because at this night, as she faced me, she was still and even more in love. I never heard her said or confessed, i just felt it and i'm sure of it.

_I'll tell her._

I leaned my hand between us as i brought my face closer to her. I told her what i wanted her to do. Be honest all the time and don't listen to her father all the time. What I meant was to do things that she wanted and not those things that her father wanted her to do.

Now, the next thing i wanted to tell her was the thing that I've decided.

I opened my mouth but couldn't utter a word. Not when she was looking at me like this.

I need to tell her because if not, she will only continue to neglect her own self.

I've decided that staying out of her life was the right thing and the marriage was not necessary.

Yet, my voice refused to come out at first.

I remembered, i once read the saying "in order to make a right decision, one should take a hard look on their feelings". I did it and as far as i know, what i feel for her was just a little concern. But right now, just to verify things, i again studied my feelings. I asked myself while looking at her: How do i feel about her? It took me a minute, she was probably wondering why i was doing this.

_'Ahh, this is bad.'_ I thought, little by little, it was getting clear. I dropped my head and buried it on the side of her neck, my forehead resting on her shoulder.

"Close your eyes." I told her.

When she closed her eyes, it became easy to answer the question, for me. I studied every detail and corner of her face before I touched her cheek and leaned my face a little more. This is going to be the last time that i'll look at her this close; the longest time that I'll look at her.

What exactly i feel to her?

I understand now. I've never asked myself... until now. So that was why I always feel like I really don't want to tell it to her. Reason why it felt good when situation failed me to bring it out. I was the one who didn't want that to happen. But still, it doesn't matter, not now or tomorrow and probably not anymore. Because it felt final. I had finally made a choice, and this was for the best.

I answered the question on the side of her ear without producing a sound. I wanted to tell her this but i know i shouldn't. So i'll just pretend that i did.

_"Took me long to figure it out." __  
_

And then the next words, i let her to hear it. "I appreciated it very much Izumi…thank you and…..I'm sorry."

I appreciated what she did. The way she stayed beside me. The way she tried to make me smile. I appreciated it all. I'm sorry because...i have to do this even though i knew that it will hurt you. If I reach out too much, if i stay longer, you will only fall deeper. I'm sorry but you have your own happiness to think about, you are just being blinded with our situation.

With that, i kissed her for the last time. I was selfish for doing that but i wanted to feel her lips pressed on mine again.

She was right, i'm selfish; selfish because I didn't tell her earlier because I wanted her with me.

* * *

The next day, I finally told her. I matched the timing to when our service came so that I could deliver it easily, and that she could do nothing with it. She was crying on my front but I tried to not look at her. Then, word by word, I said it and pretended that the marriage was nothing but just a ridiculous situation.

She won't stop crying and begging if I stayed longer so I decided to leave. I focused my mind, this was for her. I won't think about my side, my feelings, except the fact that I did this for her. Whether she realized this or not, all that matter was that...I finally gave her the freedom.

* * *

What exactly i feel to her?

That...wasn't necessary at all.

* * *

**HOORAAAAAYYY. OOC eh?. T_T**

**I might re-write this according to reviews,,,i don't know...don't worry, i'll reveal what he feels on future chapters...:))**


	19. TRY

**Another late upload. Hehehe**

**you see, i changed my pen name. :)**

**so here we go,**

**review pls...**

* * *

**When I get back, I'll talk to our father to say that I'm going to cut this whole marriage thing.**

I understood it already.

But pretended that i didn't.

**I said I'm going to end this ridiculous situation of us.**

_I know. I know._

**Get this clearly on your mind Izumi. I'm not going to marry you.**

And with that, he made it very clear.

_Why_?

I wanted to ask but i know that begging him to stop would be the best thing to do. Yet, he continued and left.

* * *

My lips was shaking, my hands too that i could barely unlock the door. I went to my bed and curled my body like a ball as i hugged my knees so tight.

_Was that it? What should i do? Accept his decision as always?_

_Do I have to pretend that it was all okay? But, how am I suppose t__o pretend that I don't want and love him anymore? _As these thoughts circled my head, there was this painful sensation on my chest that was as if squeezing my heart, my body...just everything.

And I thought that if i keep on hoping and wanting him hard enough...If I lie to myself for long enough, then, he will feel the same.

I was wrong.

He was selfish, so selfish...I hate it, why did i fell so hard?

Tears begged to pour again and before i knew it, I fell asleep.

* * *

I probably slept for almost 3 or 4 hours. When i opened my eyes, darkness was filing my room. The curtains were opened but it was still dark and that made me realized,it was already evening. I sat up and stared on the empty space in front of my room.

I wished everything was just a dream, that what he said was just an example of my nightmare but the fact that my eyes were swollen hinted that it was not. Everything was real, he and I, we were over - that was for him. About me? I had no idea what to do. I knew I was too clingy but I still wanted him...with me.

I stood up and decided to stroll outside and breath for some air. The continuous electricity post at the sidewalk accompanied me as I walked on this uncrowded street with this coldness brought by the cold air. How many months had passed since I first came here with nothing but a thought of having a marriage with someone I didn't know? Was it 8 months already? I wasn't sure. All I knew was I really had a long time claiming him as mine. Look at me now, crying over him...because we were over. And the fact that I haven't told him how much I love him. I wanted to laugh and cry and be mad at myself for wasting the opportunities I had. I should have confessed to him.

I stopped when I saw a wooden bench near the park to sit and rest. As the wind breeze again, I rubbed my arms and stared at night sky. I wondered, was he staring at this too? Did he realize that we had shared this situation for...like 4 times. Again, i was getting annoyed with these tears that pouring on its own whenever i think of him.

_So selfish..._

But i wondered, really wondering...as to why i couldn't hate him? Why did it feel like there was something more to it? Like a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach saying i still can't let this end.

"Yanagi-san?" A familiar voice cut in. I rolled my eyes on the corner and saw Mibuchi-san. I quickly wiped my eyes before he could notice it and then i stood up to greet him. "Good evening Mibuchi-san." I said as I offered a small bow in his front. He let out a smile and waved his hand slightly "mah, no need for this formality Yanagi-san." He said.

With that, I nodded a little and went back from sitting. Glancing on him, "ahm, can i help you?" I asked but he looked at me as if he saw something on my face. He blinked twice and asked "are you with Sei-chan?"

I whipped hearing his name before lowering my head. I cleared the lump on my throat, "Sei-..." I trailed off and shook my head "...i'm alone here." Two seconds changed i then raised my head to eye him again as i plastered a weak smile on my face. "Sorry but...i don't think i could say your hello to him...again." I said.

He blinked, "..say my hello?"

"Isn't that the reason why you're here?" I assumed. Just like the last time when he asked me to say his hello to him. Too bad, i won't be able to deliver it.

He opened his mouth as if he wasn't sure how to respond before shrugging his shoulder to stable his bag. "Hmm..." He raised both his brows and laughed a little. I then saw him tossed his ball on air. It took him few seconds to speak, it was getting awkward. I remembered Seijuro-kun forbidding me to talk or be with him. An idea that he was probably jealous crossed my mind but it was brushed off when Mibuchi-san suddenly spoke "i actually hate nosiness but..." He paused and looked at me "...i despise to just walk past on a girl who's crying." He finished.

I blinked and quickly looked away "what are you-" i intended to deny it but i suddenly felt his forefinger somewhat close to my face as if pointing to my eyes. My eyes twitched "eh?"

"Don't deny, i could tell by your red and swelling eyes." He said and smiled a little. "...and about the 'hello', i'm not going to ask you that again."

"Uh..." I bit my lips then. No used in denying, my eyes betrayed me and let someone noticed my crying.

I heard him tap his ball before tossing it once again. He probably came from a practice. The jersey jacket, bag and the ball explained it. "Did you two fight?...lover's quarrel maybe?" He said and chuckled a little at the end.

I smiled trying to appreciate the joke, probably.. "I wish it is just like that." I replied. A lover's quarrel even though i don't think we are couple. I hoped it was also just a quarrel, a misunderstanding that will be fix sooner but sadly, it wasn't.

He sighed, "I see." He shifted his weight on his other foot to turn around, his back was facing me."well, Yanagi-san, you know...Sei-chan, he's not our captain for nothing."

I stared at his back, frowning while wondering what those words supposed to mean. "Y-yes...?" I muttered confusingly.

"I..." he paused and I heard the small sigh that he did "actually... I believe that he -Sei-chan- is the kind of person who will not do something without a reason and that's why we respect him." He added.

"..." I opened my mouth but no voice came out. Not sure of what to say. I was bewildered.

"I'm saying, you should just trust him." He said and walked away.

I wanted to stop him and asked him what did he mean but hearing his last statement - just like a bullet - went directly inside on me.

_Trust?_

_Just trust him?_

_He's selfish..._

_So selfish..._

_He is the kind of person who won't do something without a reason._

I comprehended it, thought hard and hard.

Was he trying to say that he - Seijuro-kun - did that because he had a reason? What reason?

I was struck for a couple of minutes that became half hour as i thought hard. I buried my face in between of my knees with my eyes closed. I knew it was getting really really late but I didn't mind at all. I was too focused on analyzing everything. Why it was so hard to connect every scene. When I dig inside, I realized that my mind was too consumed with nothing but him, that inside was all about him.

**You really improved now.**

I remembered him saying those words.

_I improved?_

I blinked and blinked and before I knew it, I let out a long air that i didn't know i was holding. Our memories, my memories to be precise came all together.

**You don't have to keep your calm all the time Izumi. Show what you feel. No one can see you aside from me.**

_That's right._ I remembered it right, he would always tell me to be honest.

_You improved.._

Did he do that on purpose? Was his reason for that kind of treatment was to make me true to myself. I leaned on and puffed out another big air. So slow, I was so slow. Damn, I focused myself too much on what i feel about him that I didn't realize that. _Does it mean he cares for me?_ I gulped hard as i shook my head. No, that wasn't enough, I thought. If he really just wanted me to be honest and knowing that (as what he said) i improved, then...there was no need to go that far. I mean, no need to cut the marriage. So what was his reason?

I was probably here at the park for more than two hours, brainstorming. Yet, I still had no concrete guess to his reason.

If he doesn't care for me...then, why did he kiss me last night at the onsen. Yeah, adding the expression he had and...most of all...the things he said.

**I appreciated it very much.**

Which was it that he appreciated? I couldn't remember doing something that pleased him. As far as i knew, I was an annoyance to him.

I sighed feeling the urge to give up. Abruptly, i stood up and kicked the bench hardly and again until I felt calm. Gripping my hand hardly I decided to just ask it to him...which then quickly threw the idea away. As if he would let me talk him. And what am I supposed to ask? _Hey Seijuro-kun, what is it that you appreciated? Why did you kiss me? Are you concern to me? Heh...maybe you're just shy to admit you love me that's why you broke our marriage? That's your reason, neh?_

I earned a hard slap from my own palm for that. A really hard one. As if! Keep on dreaming.

I sighed.

_Ughhh..._

Few seconds later, while glaring at the innocent wooden bench, my phone suddenly rang. I winced and then put it on my ear. "Hello?" I greeted to the person on the other line.

"Izumi" the person was my father. "Seijuro called a while ago and-"

"Stop!" i interrupted him. i didn't know why but for some kind of a reason, I found myself gasping for breath. And this, I again felt the sudden coldness, probably caused of my nervousness. Nervousness that my father already knew it and that they might already agreed on it. _No. Please don't say 'Seijuro said he doesn't want to get married and so, you don't have to be there anymore'. I'm begging you, please._

I'm sure my father was frowning on the other line as he asked "what?" His tone explained it as if he didn't like the way I suddenly butt in while he was speaking. "Seijuro called but I was at the meeting so I wasn't able to talk to him. Did something happen?" Father finished his question and as if a needle was just pulled out on my skin, I felt at ease. I see, dad doesn't know yet, i thought sighing in relief.

i gulped and tried to recomposed my voice, "w-well...i'm sorr-" I paused when I remembered, yet again, another sentences from him.

_You're apologizing too much._

_You don't have to say sorry to everything._

I coughed quietly stopping my mouth to say that word - **sorry**.

Father was getting irked since I heard a clicking of his tongue. "Dad, do you know where Mr. Akashi is right now?" I asked.

It was silent for a couple of seconds. He was probably wondering why am I asking Seijuro-kun's father to him. "If i remember it correctly, he is out for a business trip in-"

"..in?"

"I don't remember, really Izumi, did something happen?" Dad asked sounding suspicious.

"Ahh..ehm, no...i mean nothing happened." I lied.

And as if it was some kind of a father instincts, dad suddenly asked "you're lying Izumi?"

I countered right away with a "no! I'm...not." _Well, i think i'm not a good actress then._ " By the way Dad, if he call you again...just...don't answer him." I said while nodding. This is right to do, I thought.

"Why?"

"Just please don't answer, i have a reason Dad...i just can't tell you right now."

As if he was digesting my words, he remained silent for a minute. I wasn't sure what kind of face he had right now but i was hoping he would do what i said. "Okay."

I smiled, "t-thanks Dad." Yosh!

With that, he hung up.

Remember when i thanked my mouth for abruptly speaking without thinking? I'll do it again this time. I wanted to thank my mouth for saying or rather for almost saying sorry, because if i didn't, that won't crossed my mind and if it didn't...i won't remember that thing, the last thing that he said to me.

**'I want you to stop doing whatever your father tells you, instead, focus on what you really want from the start and…..be honest with what you feel all the time.'**

It seemed like my thoughts that were tangled a while ago was now connecting. Somehow, I felt like I'm getting there, to his 'so-called reason' as why he decided on cutting our marriage.

It was our fathers decision to marry each other so...could it be that he believed I was still forced to do this? He didn't know my feelings. He wasn't aware that I've came to love him and that I really wanted to marry him.

I wasn't sure though, but...maybe, Seijuro-kun cares for me after all. I mean, he probably treated me rudely just to bring out my real attitude, to be able to stand on my own beliefs. Also, I really did feel that he was concern for me sometimes, I just tried not to believed it because...I knew it was impossible but...what if? I wanted to know the truth.

With that, a new thought occurred to me and I knew it was the thing that i wanted to do for the longest time, to confess my feelings and ask what exactly am I to him.

Maybe we just misunderstood each other. Maybe if I clear my feelings, we will come to a new term. Who knows, right?

I turned my weight on my heel and then inhaled a long long air. I punched in the air and yelled "okay!"

This is it. I'll do it for the sake of _us_.


	20. BACK

**emo chappie. Sorry. And oh i've been thinking about this, Izumi meeting another knb character... What do you think? ( not necessarily from GoM) hehehehe **

**don't forget to review so i can know what you think about this 'i-don't-know-what-adjective-to-use fanfic... :)**

* * *

My luck dropped to flat zero, because two days had already passed and Akashi Seijuro was still nowhere to be found. No, it was not because he went far far away from me, he was probably avoiding me on purpose. I tried to go to his classroom but by then he was already out. At home, I also tried but the maids said he wasn't there. I don't know if I should waste another more days in searching for him knowing that he really didn't want to meet me. I know that but I was just really hoping (again) that he would get tired of hiding from me.

Until...this day. I feared this day to come. I heard from my Dad that Mr. Akashi finally arrived and that he was on his way to their house at this moment.

_No._

_This will be the end, if ever._

I can feel a heavy sensation coming from the pit of my stomach.

But I couldn't just give up so easily.

I ran all the way to the gym while holding my phone tightly as I scrolled down to find his number. I dialed it repeatedly but it was always busy. "Pick up, come on..." I begged. Sweats were all over my face and I know how haggard I look right now. But I couldn't careless about my appearance, I just want to meet him NOW. Talk things over again and maybe, maybe...we could make things right the way it was before. He could put back the marriage I could still refer him as my fiance, the one I will marry.

I didn't get a chance to secure my panting as I went inside with no delay. I can't afford to waste anymore minutes. I slammed the door open and scanned around. My heart was beating so fast that I didn't know know if it was because of how far I ran or maybe I was too nervous. I shut my eyes close and inhaled a long air.

.

.

_Not here._

There was no trace found of a red haired person except for an empty court. Ugh this is the worst. I said to myself.

_I don't know what to next. What should i do?_

I crouched to the spot where i was standing a while ago, gripping hardly on my phone. I tried to blame everything on that object just to have something I could release how mad I was. Mad to myself for being such a crybaby and a loser to him. He...never thinks of me and yet i'm here still insisting myself to him. Damn it. Being in love sucks, especially if the one you love was someone like him, a conceited bastard.

I cursed him to death until I felt calm and then I stood up and went outside.

.

.

* * *

.

.

"I'm sorry Yuka-chan." Said the boy.

"Mmm, no it's okay because you say sorry." The girl replied with a smile.

And they lived happily ever after.

That sucks, having to watch a scene of a sweet little boy caring for a little girl here at the park. Yes,i went here after that and it was almost evening. Those two young couple, well not really couple but just two kids,( i just concluded that because the way the boy assisted the girl who tripped when the boy accidentally pushed her on the ground) they look like a promising couples soon when they become adult. I'm just guessing.

So going back, that scene was depressing to watch, if only Akashi Seijuro could be like that. Just say sorry, I'll accept it immediately, really and seriously, I will. But yeah, keep on wishing, queen of wishful thinking. That was too good to be true, he would never say that word because he said he is always right so therefore he doesn't have anything to say sorry for. _Ha!_

I sighed, i didn't know what kind of sigh was that, boredom? Sad? Maybe, I felt both. I sat here on a swing, not bothering to swing it. I was just sitting because this park doesn't have a convincing bench aside from four swings and two slides. With me, i had a big bag of popcorn on my left hand, on the other was my phone. I wasn't eating, rather, I just stared on it as if it was diamond that was worth of a million.

_This is just a freaking popcorn,_ I thought on and on. But, this popcorn held a memory to me, of him.

I went here on the first place to catch some air while waiting to what will going to happen. Who will call first, my Dad or his Dad?

After some hours of waiting and lazing my eyes to nothing but this popcorn, my phone suddenly stole my attention. I whipped and immediately looked on the number on my screen. It was my Dad.

_Ah, I'm dead._

"H-hello." I said trying to sound as normal as always.

"What was that Izumi!" It was supposed to be a question but the way he said it was like a sentence with a heavy exclamation point at the end. "What the hell happened!"

"..." So that was it, he finally broke it. "I...i don't know Da-"

"What do you mean you don't know?! That was so stupid Izumi, what did i tell you? I never failed to remind you to build a relationship with him, so what is this! Mr. Akashi was saying that Seijuro doesn't want to marry you! What did you-"

Before he could continue bombarding me with his unreasonable questions and statements that was also intensified by his anger, i cut him off with a "stop!" It was a shout. I'm so sick of this feeling of always being the one getting yelled, always the one adjusting for them. I don't know, i honestly don't know what happened. I did my best to him that I even crossed the line and fell in love. Am I the wrong one here? So sick and tired. "Dad...please stop. I don't know why and what he have on his mind but believe me I really tried." That was all i can say to him.

There was a long silence on my father's line. I waited for him to say something and when he didn't i continued "sorry dad" as soon as I uttered those words, tears began falling on my eyes. I rubbed it with the back of my palm still holding the bag of popcorn. "I'm sorry dad.." I repeated while hiccuping. I didn't stop crying and saying sorry. I apologized to my Dad but the reason that I cried was knowing the fact that those words 'i'm sorry dad' hinted that it was all over. I failed and he was gone.

He was not mine, and will never be anymore. No more chance. I loved him and it was so sad knowing that I wasn't able to tell him that.

I guessed that was just part of loving, sometimes the only choice was to give up no matter how much you love them.

That night too, my father seemed to calm down and asked if i'm okay. I didn't answer, how am I suppose to be okay? I've done enough of pretending and I'm not okay so I won't say yes.

"Izumi..." He mumbled. "Do you...want to come home? it's okay." That was the first caring words I've ever heard from my father. It wasn't sound like one but i knew it was his way of comforting me. With that, I replied "yes."

And the next day, I went to Rakuzan High and processed my dropping form.

On my last day here in Japan, I decided to go or rather sneak on the rooftop ( i heard that area was prohibited to students). I stood there while leaning on the railings as I feel the cold breezing of air. Who knows, this might be my last time setting a foot on this country. I began mesmerizing everything and I realized how much I'll miss this school.

I experienced my first love and first heartbreak here so this school/country will always mean a lot to me. I smiled realizing that.

"Japan's air, let me bring some souvenir" I shouted before inhaling a very long air.

.

* * *

.

I was on the hallway, on my way to leave when suddenly, as if this so called luck and fate were mocking me, I happened to passed by on someone. He was the last person I wanted to see before I leave. I scoffed in dismay and paused from walking when our shoulder brushed past. He was looking directly on his way as if his eyes were following a straight line. He didn't bother to look at me, and his face had nothing but a blank expression. I turned on my back to look and saw him just turned on right of the hallway. It was if he just stepped on my body, the way he ignored and acted as if I was part of the air. That attitude was too irritating now. _I hate it._ I stomped following him. Who cares if he doesn't want to talk, this time, i'll do this on my way.

I've never realized until now that he was a fast walker. I was having a hard time to catch up so I added some speed on my pace. I didn't try to call him. I don't want to.

_I just -_

One last step and i'll reach his back. It all happened in a very slow motion inside my head but my eyes reached his back in just a second when I spread my arms wide-open to grab him from his behind. My hands landed on his chest and I tightly gripped his uniform. At first, I couldn't believed that I was hugging him... again. It was so so hard like the way I hug my pillows at night. My face was buried on his back while being drown with his scent that was as if hypnotizing me. I realized how much I've missed his presence and that after all...there was now way I could hate him. Was it 5 seconds already of hugging? Because i didn't notice how short that seconds, for me, it was like so long that could synonymous forever._ I'm hugging him._ Hugging him as if he was mine until he spoke, "what are you doing?"

"What I've wanted to do for a long time." I replied softly with a smile.

I didn't give him a chance to speak. I need to go as soon as possible. I have a flight schedule and I should be heading back to hotel now so i don't think I have time to argue with him.

This won't take too long.

_I just want to tell him what I feel._

I dropped my arms and then he turned to face me, he was frowning at me. Oh how much I'll miss that brows, those angry brows.

I smiled again, heartwrenchingly kind of smile. I brought my hands this time on his cheeks as I said the words I've been dying to tell him "I know...you hate the way i apologize too much...but, i'll say it here...i'm sorry Sei-" I paused realizing that I don't have anymore reason to call him by his first name so maybe...switch back from the beginning "...Akashi-kun..." I didn't plan this, i didn't expect to see him, i was okay of leaving without him, but seeing him this close, the moment I saw him, I knew I have to at least tell him so I can finally move on too. I knew he didn't feel the same but he have to know my side. I opened my mouth, looking him eye to eye, I tried to memorize every detail of his face, his eyes, nose and lips. I'll miss this guy.

"...I'm sorry...Akashi-kun" i said for the third time.

"For what?" He asked sounding irked.

A single tear fell on the corner of my eye as I delivered the reason why "I'm sorry that I seriously fell in love with you..." I said at last. His eyes twitched a little before averting them on the glass window beside us. "There's more important thing than love Izumi." He stated.

"I know..but I really love you." I said again. He sighed and turned on his back, "It's useless, we will not going to get married." He said.

I nod even though it was out of his perspective, "and...i just want you to know.''

"..."

_Why is he not talking?_

I lowered my head and clenched my fist on my sides, "me...just what exactly am i to you?" I asked. It was followed by a long pause. No sign that he will speak and it just broke my heart the fact that it was too unanswerable for him. Does it mean nothing? Am I nothing to him? What a heavy sensation. "Izu-"

I tapped the side of his arm gently, stopping his word "mmm it's okay." I said softly smiling on his back, "I think I already know the answer...don't worry, I guess i'm okay now.." That was half true and half not.."well, i think i'm bothering you too much now." I finished with little chuckle at the end.

He angled his head on the side and maybe he was trying to look me through his shoulder. I didn't know what he had on his mind when he heard that.

"T-thank you so much for everything." I managed to say before turning on my side and look him for the last time still with a smile. I'll miss him.

As Our back facing each other, I ended our last conversation. Our last meeting and everything. "I'm going to disappear now."

Everything about us had ended and it felt final. I was honestly hoping that he would say something like 'don't go', but he didn't and so...that was it. We finally made our decision.

It was a one kind of a messed up relationship but I really learned a lot. Love is for strong people and I'm not one of them...because I don't have the strength to hold on us anymore...so I'm setting him free.

_Goodbye Seijuro-kun._

And then, I walked away and left.

* * *

**Akashi POV**

She was holding me...

I knew it was just for a little moment..

"I'm sorry...i'm sorry..." She said and she kept on repeating it. "I'm sorry that I seriously fell in love"

She was crying again...in my front as she said those words.

_I know_..._I'm aware of your feelings from the start._

But, I never expected to hear it from her now. I've done a good job on interrupting her every time I felt her eagerness to confess because it would only be harder for her.

But It looks like it didn't.

She really improved.

_Stop crying._

"Just what exactly i am to you?"

It was unnecessary for her to know.

As she claimed her own guess to her own question, her eyes continued crying.

_My feelings for you..._

"I'm going to disappear now."

I just had never felt that before and I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out.

_The fact is...i'm in love with you and i have been for some time._


End file.
